Category: advice

Two Months of Baby-Led Weaning

It’s been two months since Jack start eating solid food using the Baby-led Weaning method. I’ve gotten lots of questions from people, so I thought I would do an update. First of all, I just want to say it’s been going great! Jack is slowly learning to feed himself well and it’s be wonderful to watch him learn. He will try almost anything we put in front of him, and is starting to eat a good amount too. Last night he ate all his dinner and wanted a little bit more! I was shocked, who knew a 7-month -old would devour 5 layer dip and lil smokies?

Bean dip, a tortilla chip, and 2 lil smokies. 99% actually
went in him and he looked around for a little more.

I want to stress that this didn’t happen over night and he doesn’t always eat everything we give up. It’s a learning curve and he’s just now is on the upward slope. So don’t panic if your baby doesn’t clean their plate right away.

I also want to address some of the questions I’ve been getting lately too. I have to say everyone has been super supportive of our choice to feed Jack this way, but they still have a lot of questions. But questions are good, it’s how everyone learns. Here are the most common ones and some answers:

Baby-Led Weaning Questions:

    • What does he eat?
      • Jack eats almost everything we eat. This morning I had toast with avocado spread on it, and Jack had the same thing. This does require me to meal plan and make sure that we are eating nutritious with little sodium and sugar—which is not a bad thing at all! I try to make sure we offer him one protein and one fruit/veggie every meal. And one or two starches/carbs a day. I will post a meal planner next week so you get some ideas. I also want to state that Jack totally know when we are eating something different. If he likes what we offered him, he will glance at our food but not care. However, if he decides our food likes better, he will demand it. Like hands out and screaming until we give it to him. So don’t eat thing in front of your baby that you don’t want them to have.
    • How many meals a day does he get?
Gave him a lick of frozen yogurt,
he wasn’t too impressed.
      • Before I answer, I want to stress that this varies from baby to baby. So what works for Jack and our family, might not work for you. We offer Jack three meals a day—breakfast, lunch and dinner. But this is not a strict rule. Someday if he wakes up late, I skip breakfast for him.Or if we are out on the weekends and are too busy to sit down a for a real meal, nothing bad happens. And he often takes long naps right through dinnertime too. We just make sure he has all the milk he wants and that he’s happy. Likewise, he can have more if he wants. If I am munching on a snack in between meals and he seems interested, I will offer him some. I was eating mango on a hike a few weeks ago and Jack was all over it. He ate a big wedge and still wanted dinner a few ours later.
        He eventually ate that entire wedge of mango–and
        almost threw my keys into the ocean.
    • Does he use utensils?
      • He can use a spoon, but not that well yet. He manages well without it, even with liquidy things.
        Yogurt, no problem. I’ll just lick my finger.

        I try handing him a pre-loaded spoon, but I think he gets too excited and becomes too distracted. I will carefully give him a bite off my fork on occasion, but I’m holding off on giving him his own fork until he masters the spoon. But once again, this is just my baby. Maybe your baby will be a pro with utensils right from the start.

        He was so excited when I gave the spoon,
        he totally forgot about the yogurt.
    • Do you serve his food on a plate?
No plate needed for now.
    • I’ve tried a few times, but he gets too distracted. He either chews or throws them (along with all the food). I usually just place his food right on the tray for his highchair. If we don’t have the highchair, I place the food on a small plate and hold it down so he can’t grab it. Or I just put the food in my hand and let him grab what he wants. According the the advice I’ve read off the Baby-Led Weaning Facebook page, around 9 to 11 months babies tend to ignore the plate, so I will try again later.
  • How does he chew, he has no teeth?

    He was determined to eat that broccoli…
    There’s a video on Instagram too.
    • When we started with solids two months ago,  Jack had no teeth in site. The book said teeth were not necessary and I could still offer him normal, not pureed foods. This honestly confused me, but I decided to give it a try. At first  made sure the foods I offered him we soft enough to be gummed or sucked. Like raw cucumber sticks and chicken chunks. And it worked! After a month he did get the hang of the chewing motion. It takes him forever to actually break down the food, but he does. One day he totally demolished the top of a steamed broccoli floret (though it took 15 minutes). Now he is on the verge of his bottom central incisors cutting through. Then I will start offering him slightly harder things. He really loves roasted parsnips and sweet potatoes, but he usually just sucks them down to mush. I think he will love to actually take a bite and taste the flavor.
  • Aren’t you afraid he will choke?!?!

    Bigger than choking size and smaller than choking size offered.
    • This is the question I get asked the most. Of course I am worried he will choke! I would be worried about it even if we did pureed foods! I’m his mom, I worry about everything that could possible happen to him! The key to not stressing over Baby-Led Weaning is trust. I trust that Jack has natural instincts to survive. I trust that he will try to gum/suck/chew his food as best he can before swallowing. I trust he will know when it’s okay to swallow and when he needs to spit it back out. I trust that if he gags on something caught in his throat, he will cough it back up. And most of all, I trust myself to know when to intervene if this all goes wrong. You also need to understand the difference between gagging and choking. Gagging is when something gets caught or tickles your esophagus, causing your gag reflex to react and cough up what you swallowed. It’s a normal survive instinct and it is important that babies learn this—as scary as it might be for you to watch. Choking is when something gets lodged in your windpipe and you cannot breath. Your gag reflex will react and you may be able to get it out quickly on your own, but probably will need assistance to clear it. I make sure I offer him foods larger than or smaller than choking size. Either small pieces about the size of a dime that he can chew, or chunks the size of his fist he can suck. Matchstick shapes are a great shape and size to start out with. I also make sure that I don’t give him really hard foods that he can’t breakdown in his mouth first, like raw carrots.
      He shoved the whole pancake in his mouth,
      but spit out what he couldn’t swallow.

      You also should NEVER leave your baby alone when they are eating, in case something does go wrong.  That being said, Jack has not yet choked on food. But he has gagged on his food several times—and yes it scared me a little. The first time was on a slice of steamed zucchini. Michael, his parents, and brother-in-law were all over for dinner. We were chatting and eating, Jack all happy to have company. He was sitting on my lap chomping away on the zucchini when suddenly he cough forcefully several times. I quickly put my hand up to see if I could open his mouth when he suddenly coughed it up into my hand. He fussed a little because he was scared, but  reached for some noodles off my plate when he calmed down. I didn’t panic and trust he knew how to save himself. And if he didn’t get it up quickly, I was totally ready to intervene with the Heimlich and CPR if needed. Yesterday he also gagged on the tortilla chip (he ate it too quickly). He got it out quickly and threw up some too. He cried a bit because he was scared again. But after a sip of water and some reassurance from us, he went on to finish his whole plate like I said before. He’s learning to slow down and chew his food properly.

  • How do you know he’s getting enough food?

    More on him than in him, and no idea how much
    actually went in but he had two helpings offered.
    • If you are type-A, controlling person this answer might drive you nuts: I have no idea how much he actually eats. I let him decide. I just make sure I offer him a reasonable amount each meal and he can eat as much or as little as he wants. Some days he eats with gusto like he’s never been fed before—and still tries to steal my food. Other days he screams the minute he gets in the highchair, claps his mouth shut and throws his food at me in. Most of the time he takes a few bites and plays with the rest. All of this is normal. At this age, babies only need around an extra 200 calories from solids (data from my local La Leche League meeting), which is the equivalent to snack for adults.. And their tummies are still small you can’t just expect them to eat 200 calories at once either.
      He spent 30 mins pushing the oatmeal around then wanted out.

      He knows his body better than I do. I just offer him healthy, nutrient-dense foods each meal. Maybe he wants 50 calories for breakfast, 100 at lunch and 100 at dinner? Maybe in the morning he will be too full from dinner still and want to breakfast, 150 at lunch and 50 at dinner. Or it could be growth spurt time and he super hungry so 150 calories at breakfast, 75 at lunch and 100 at dinner. But he can’t tell me any of this so I just need to trust him. However, if your baby isn’t gaining any weight or gains too much weight suddenly, then something might be wrong and you should talk to your doctor.

  • What if he doesn’t like what you offered him?

    I DON’T WANT THE ASIAN STIR-FRY!!!
    • Then he doesn’t have to eat it. If he just too distracted, I will try to put a tiny piece in his mouth first to make sure he’s tasted it. Quiet a few times I think he just gets overwhelmed by something and forget to eat. Once he gets a taste, he usually will start eating. But if his lips are sealed shut and he turning his head away, I let it go. Forcing him to to eat it is only creating stress and who wants to eat when your stressed out? Food should be joyful, not torture.
      This day all he wanted was chicken.
      Guess he needed protein!

      Then I will usually try offering him something else to eat. Maybe he didn’t like my black bean enchiladas that night for whatever reason, he can have some cucumber sticks instead. Or maybe his body needs protein and he actually wants some chicken. He usually will munch on something eventually after a few samples. And this so rarely happens that it’s really not an issue for us.

  • What if he won’t eat anything?

    I can’t remember what I offered him,
    but he really could have cared less.
    • That’s okay. “Food before one is just for fun.” My milk is his main source of food so if he just wont eat, then he can have milk instead. Like I said, skipping meals at this age is okay. Maybe his tummy is upset, or he’s already full? Why force him and make him throw up. It’s just creating stress on both of you. Your baby also might not be ready for solids and this is queue to hold off. But, if you baby wont eat or nurse at all, something else might be wrong and you need to take them to the doctor right away.
  • Do you take him out to restaurants?

    Our mini bear went out for breakfast!
    • We sure do! We don’t eat out a lot but Jack does eat with us when we do. We make sure we order things he can share. Like I ask for a side of veggies instead of fries. Or dressing on the side of my salad. No heavy or rich sauces. And nothing too greasy or salty. The first restaurant he ever ate at was Black Bear Diner (besides the cafe at Ikea I mentioned in the last post). We went for breakfast on my birthday. We sat him in the highchair and asked for a little plate for him. He LOVED Michael’s bacon, but munch on some spinach and potatoes from my hash too.
      He didn’t know what to pick first at Veggie Grill

      He was big fan of  Veggie Grill too, especially the piece of tempeh and tomato from my burger. He almost forgot about the plate this time because he was so excited for food.

      He mostly just played with the menu and
      watched the waitress run around.

      Sometimes he gets overwhelmed by all the people, lights, and decorations so he wont eat much. We went to Red Robin last week and he was more interested in the drink menu and the waitress walking by.

  • Is it hard to not help him eat?

    He can hold a rip bone by himself, he doesn’t need my help.
    • It was at first. I grew up with the standard of spoon-feeding a baby a certain amount, so it was hard to not try to help him. Especially when he would miss his mouth or spit it right back out. I have to tell myself  “It’s not about the food, it’s about him learning the skill of eating. He will get it in eventually, if he wants it.” I do help him if he struggling to pick up something he wants and is getting frustrated. And I must confess, when we are eating out I either hand him one piece of food at a time or place it in his mouth for him. I don’t mind him getting messy when we are out, but I don’t want him to throw it at someone. And at home we have a towel down so I can pick food up and give it back to him. I can’t give him something he dropped on the floor of a public building. And at home I get him more food easily if gets dirty, I can’t afford to do that out. So it’s not quiet within Baby-Led Weaning guidelines, but it works for us. I don’t make him eat anything he doesn’t want to and he still learns how to eat.
  • Isn’t this just wasting good food?

    This is actually not a lot of food on
    him, maybe 1/2 tablespoon?
    • And spoon-feeding doesn’t? Spoon-fed babies still spit out, throw, and smear their food everywhere. Plus it’s not like I’m making him a whole separate meal. He gets a small portion of our food, I don’t make any extra or do anything special (except not put salt, sweetener or heavy sauce). Sure that’s maybe 100 calories we would have ate, but we are adults and can get other food later if we want. So yeah he’s thrown an small omelette at me and wasted it, but it was half an egg’s worth from my husband’s bigger portion. Not a big deal. Plus, I personally think jarred or pureed baby food is more wasteful. All the time, money, and energy spent on cooking, mashing/pureeing, and jarring. Then reheating and separately from your own meal getting them to eat it. Too much for me.
I hope this answer some questions and helped you decide if Baby-Led Weaning is right for your child. By the way, it’s never too late to try this with your child. Even a 10-month-old who was spoon-fed rice cereal from 4-months-old will still like to try eating with their hands for fun!

Traveling Baby Part 3: Traveling Without Baby

The last part of my Traveling Baby Series is traveling without your baby. That’s right, I dared to leave my baby for a few days! It was nerve racking at first and I worried about losing my breastmilk supply, but it all worked out pretty well in the end.

I wanted to do something nice for our first anniversary in September, celebrate the amazing and challenging first year we spent as husband and wife. It’s enviable that once you have a baby, romance becomes a scare thing between couples. I figured if we wanted to stay married, we needed to celebrate. Then my parents offered to fly down so we could go somewhere for the weekend. I love my baby very much, but my first instinct was, “YES, I COULD GET SOME SLEEP!!!” Only someone who has raised a child can understand what I am talking about. Jack wakes up at least twice a night still and gets up bright and early each morning. I am so tired all the time that I hardly even notice any more. I know this is normal and won’t last forever, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love a chance to get some baby-free sleep!

We settled on Reno and booked a room at Harrah’s for 3 nights. Close enough to drive but far enough away to feel like a vacation still. Plus we love driving through Gold Country (see my Babymoon post). We could gamble, drink, relax, and sleep! We were both really looking forward to it.

How could I leave this cuteness?!?!?

Now I know what you are thinking, “How could you leave your 5-month old? Especially an exclusively breastfed one who likes to co-sleep? And with your parents that he doesn’t see often!” First of all, let me say I did worry A LOT about going. A LOT. I kept thinking he would start screaming and not eat until I returned. So we made the deal that at any time, for any reason, we could call it off. Even if we were already in Reno, just jump in the car and haul it back home. Second, my parents came a few days early so Jack had time to adjust. I also made a detailed outline of Jack’s daily routine to help them keep him happy. Lastly, I completely trust my parents. I think this is key to leaving your child with anyone. If you have any reservations—even a teeny tiny voice that says “Ehh…”—then don’t leave your child with them. Plain and simple. That right there will make it less stressful for everyone.

I think it’s safe to say he loves his grandma…

Oh, and the breastfeeding thing. Remember that freezer stash I determined to build up before I went back to work then ended up not needing? Well, my parents now had plenty of milk to feed Jack while I was away. And no, my parents did not co-sleep with him. But they were prepared for him to wake every couple hours for a bottle at night. My brother and I never slept through the night as babies, they knew what to expect.

Nothing says romance like drying pump parts in your hotel room…

I also planned on pumping every 2-3 hours to keep my supply up. However, I decided I didn’t really need to replenish my freezer stash and I didn’t want to deal with a bringing a big cooler to bring it all home. So I decided to donate it a local mom in Nevada through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. It’s a wonderful donation network that allows moms with extra milk to directly donate to moms (and other caregivers) who need it. It’s so easy too, just find your state Facebook page and post an ad. A mom or whoever will reply, then you set-up a place to meet and give them the milk directly. I posted a month before and set-up to with a mom who was struggling with a low supply on our way home.

So, we planned it all out and were ready when the time came. My parents arrived late 3 days before. That night we just went about everything as usual, just with them here. The next day they watched him while I went to work in the afternoon and helped put him to bed. The next day they watched him the whole day while I went in for a normal  8-hour day shift.  Jack was happy and comfortable with them, so we went ahead with the trip. We left for Reno the next morning and Jack didn’t even care! He was sitting on the porch with grandpa looking at the flowers. I was sad as we drove away but knew it would be alright.

This is how much fun pumping in the car is….

The drive was lovely—until we hit the smoke. A massive wildfire was burning near South lake Tahoe and had shut down HWY 50. We had planned on taking HWY 80 all along, but it was smokey as hell in North Lake too. Like at one point it felt like we were driving through fire and brimstone. And it kept getting dark out the closer we got to the lake! But once we turned away from the lake and headed towards Reno, it cleared some and we saw daylight again. It was still smokey in Reno but I didn’t care. We didn’t plan on being outside there too much and all I really wanted was some sleep!

Once we got our room, we took a long nap. It was glorious. I love co-sleeping with my baby, but it was soooo nice to cuddle up with my man and pass out for once. That night we walked to Noble Pie Parlor and got pizza and beer. I found this place on Yelp. It was good, but weird. Like a college house party that this one guy you talked to in class a few times invited you to, but it turned out awesome, but you feel awkward still because you know no one there. Made us feel like kids again, worth checking out if you can handle that sort of atmosphere. We got back late and passed right out again. I woke up 7 hours later to rock-hard, aching boobs. I pumped 9 ounces each side that morning. But it didn’t effect my supply at all, just painful.

The next day we went to Virginia City. We may be nerds who love history and geology, but this place was TOTALLY awesome. You need to check out everything, but I really suggest the Washoe Club. We took the ghost tour and had a drink too. Really fun and not too expensive. We wish we had more time there There was still so much more to see. I foresee a family vacation there when Jack is older. I pumped on the way there in the car, about 3 hours later, and again on the way home. I brought a soft mini cooler and an ice pack to keep the milk cold. It was kinda annoying to have to go back to the car and waste precious time there, but it wasn’t that big of a hassle overall.

I drank it all, I was drunk and I have no regrets!

The rest of the trip we just relaxed in Reno (and slept a lot). When we were just hanging out in and around the hotel, I just used my double electric pump back in the room. It wasn’t a hassle and I just popped the milk right in the mini fridge. I did pump twice when I was drunk, and that milk was dumped right away.We went out for a nice sushi dinner the night of our anniversary. We planned on getting very drunk and going crazy afterwards, but I forgot the flanges to my pump so went back to the room. After I pumped, somehow we ended up falling asleep watching TV instead…oops.

The milk to donate on my lap while we drove to Carson City.

The next morning we got breakfast (Hash House A Go Go is AMAZING, giant plates with tons of flavor) and headed off the Carson City to meet up with the mom I was donating milk to. Before we left the hotel, I placed all the  milk storage bags in a large zip-lock back, then placed that bag in a bag of ice. We met her in a store parking lot right off the highway, gave her the milk (72 ounces) and she gave me replacement storage bags. Not every mom will offer storage bags, HM4HB is a free service, so don’t expect this every time. The mom was very grateful and I was more than happy to help her little one thrive.

That’s not clouds, it’s smoke.
We had drive through that shortly after I took this.

Highway 50 was still closed from the fire so we took a long back way south through the Sierra. I ended up pumping two more times in the car. That milk became Jack’s bottles for when I was at work the next day. We got home around 5 PM and I expected a big reaction from Jack….but I got pretty much nothing. They were waiting on the porch for us and he just calmly looked at me like, “Oh, hi. Where you gone?” I didn’t care though, I snatched him up and covered him in kisses. I was happy we went, but more than happy to come home.

We bought Jack a coyote puppet in Carson City,
he was sort of amused by it when we got home.

It all worked out well and we had a lot of fun. I have a few tips on how to handle traveling without a baby under a year old, especially for the first time.

Traveling Without Baby Tips

  • Leave your child with someone you completely trust. And I mean completely. Someone you know very well and has extensive experience caring for children. And, I know this may sound harsh, but sometime older grandparent or family members may have health problems that could inhibit proper childcare. Don’t feel bad if you have to turn down someone you love because you are worried about them falling or forgetting to do something. Just be nice about it, but your child’s health is more important. My parents are in good health so I wasn’t concerned.
  • Make sure you leave with them clear instructions. Don’t just chuck the baby at them and run. This will stress them out and cause them to not do a good job. And it will stress your baby out to vary so far from their normal routine without you. Babies can perceive and expect some consistency, even right from birth. This is why I left my mom the outline. So she knew about when he naps, eats, and plays. At the time he had also just started Baby-led Weaning and she needed to know what foods he could have as well. Give instructions for everything possible to avoid a major issue.
  • Make a list of important contacts and numbers Pediatrician, Urgent Care, Hospital, a relative or friend nearby, and where they can reach you. I left a list with full names, addresses and phone number in case of an emergency. I know that you could just say “Nearest Urgent Care” to Siri nowadays, but a quick list make it easier on everyone. I also left my parents with Jack’s insurance cards, vaccination record, and identification—plus I took copies with me.
  • Give your baby time to adjust. If the person isn’t normally around baby much, odds are they might flip out to suddenly be left with a stranger. If possible, have the person come a few days over and stay with you so the baby becomes familiar with them. Like I mentioned earlier, Jack didn’t seem to care I was even gone in the end because he was comfortable with my parents.
  • Leave enough supplies, where to get more supplies, and what to get.  It’s can be stressful to watch someone’s child, give them a break and leave them with everything they need so they aren’t running around town. I left plenty of breastmilk. And I left a can of formula in the event something happened to freezer stash. I also left plenty of diapers, wipes, shampoo, lotion, & etc. I also told her all the brands we use and where should could go get more. For example, Pampers are the only diapers that fit  Little Mr. Fatty’s thighs well enough to prevent blow-outs. I would hate for my mom to buy Luvs and her end up washing poop off everything. Likewise, Jack has never had formula before, the brand I have is designed for breastfed babies. If she bought another brand, he might get sick and not eat it. And that formula is only sold at Babies ‘R’ Us around here so I wouldn’t want her to waste time and money going to a store that doesn’t carry it. Or her buying a brand that he won’t eat.
  • Have regular check-ins. My mom sent me updates and photos every couple hours to reassure me everything was okay. It calmed my nerves and it made me happy to know he was still happy. How can a mom expect to have fun if she doesn’t know her baby is happy!
  • If you are breastfeeding, figure out how pumping before you go. I tried to pump as close to Jack’s normal nursing schedule as possible, in order to milk my established supply stable. If this is not possible, make sure you pump at least every 2-3 hours during the day. And if you miss a few sessions, nothing will happen. Especially if you skip it because you are getting some much needed sleep! I suggest bringing an electric and manual pump since you never know what might happen during traveling. And bring more storage bags than you think you need just in case. Also, consider what you want to do with the milk afterwards. I suggest donating if you don’t need the extra. But if you do, make sure you keep it cold. Bring a cooler and buy enough ice to get it home.You can even pack on dry ice to keep it frozen if you like. If you are flying, you can carry breastmilk on a plane (even in a giant cooler). Look up the current laws first and make sure you declare it to the TSA agent at security.
  • It’s okay to worry. You are leaving your tiny little love behind, it’s okay to worry and be upset! You can even cry as you drive away. You are this little person’s whole world and you spend every waking minute caring for them, you are supposed to miss them like crazy! But take assurance knowing you little one will be loved and cared for, and enjoy your small break from the stresses of parenthood (and get some sleep!)

Traveling Baby Part 2: Airplane

Next in my traveling baby posts is airplanes. After my major fail from Jack’s first road trip, you can imagine I was very nervous about flying with him a only few weeks later. My parents wanted us to visit and I was invited to a sorority sister’s wedding reception, so I figured it was worth a flight. When I told my mom the dates we were coming, she was sad it was only for the weekend. I was still on maternity leave, but Michael had to work and couldn’t take that much time off. Then my mom pleaded that I come up with Jack first, then Michael joins us for the weekend. So now I had to brave flying ALONE with a baby!

I was hellbent on avoiding this again at all costs.

I came up with a good plan and was hellbent on executing it properly this time. Jack is the least fussy in the morning so we picked an early flight. Jack is young enough that he doesn’t need his own seat either, so I didn’t need to worry lugging a carseat along too (my parents bought one to keep there for when we visit). I wanted to get to the gate about an hour early so didn’t have to rush but wasn’t waiting around getting anxious. I wanted plenty of time to change him, nurse him, and maybe get in a short nap if needed. Plus you know get through security and such. And I knew I needed to wear him in the Boba Wrap through the airport to keep him calm and happy. I chose the Boba over my woven wrap because I can pop him in and out easily. I was advised by my La Leche League to nurse him during takeoff and landing to help with his ear pressure. And they also told me it’s required he be out of the wrap during flight for safety, so make sure I bring a pillow or something for him to sleep on (and not kill my arms). I planned to take my time getting off and get him back in the wrap, to keep Jack calm and happy. Then walk off, hug mom and dad, then jump in the car back to their house. For the flight home, it was later in the afternoon—after Jack’s nap time—so I figured a similar protocol would work. Get there with just enough time, wear him, nurse him on the plane, hope he sleeps, and not rush getting off the plane. Plus this time I would have Michael to help.

Wear your baby through the airport! 

Then the day came. We got up early that morning, but let Jack continue to sleep. Just when I finished getting ready, he woke up and we got him ready too. There was traffic getting the airport, but we planned for that so we had plenty of time. We parked, got Jack in the wrap, got our tickets, said good-bye, and went to security. By that time Jack was asleep. I calmly went through security to my gate.

First class his first flight!

As I was waiting at the gate, they kept offering upgrades to first class for only $50….so I texted Michael and he said I could treat myself. I was so excited! I know that families travelling with infants board first anyways, but it was nice to board with first class. The minute I stepped on the plane, one flight attendant was eyeing my baby.  She offered to hold him while I got situated. I know some people might be worried about letting a stranger hold their baby, but I wasn’t too concerned. I figured she must be a mom herself and knew the troubles of travelling with a baby. And she wasn’t going to hurt him because she probably wanted to keep her job. Plus, it’s not like she could run off with him, we were stuck in a metal tube! I was nervous about how the person sitting next to me would react to a baby. It was a middle-aged man on a business trip. As he getting out his laptop, he noticed Jack. He said “Hi little guy!” So I faced Jack towards him and said “Hi, I’m Jack! I’m only 4-months-old and this is my first flight, I apologize if it doesn’t go well.” He smiled and said, “No problem Jack, I remember what 4-month-olds can be like.” I was relieved.

He met this pilots and got his wings!

Then something awesome happened! The flight attendant told me bring Jack to the cockpit to meet the pilots before the doors sealed. So I quickly brought him up there and we snapped a photo. Then they gave him his wings and a certificate. I showed them to Jack and he just tried to suck on them, but I was so excited for him!

Tired from screaming and playing with his toy.

Shortly after I got back to my seat, we began to taxi. I put Jack on the nursing pillow and began to nurse him. He was all happy until we began to pick up speed. He began to scream once we lifted up. I kept trying to latch him on, but he wasn’t having it. Five minutes later, I gave up and sat him up. He calmed down instantly and reached for his toy in the bag. Duh, he is a very alert baby. He likes action. He wasn’t mad about taking off, he was mad I wasn’t showing him the take off! He played with his toy for awhile, then made the milk face so I nursed him. Then he fell asleep and slept right through the landing. I waited there in my seat until half the plane left, then I gently woke him up. The flight attendant held him while I got my wrap on and bags together. Then we happily walked off the plane.

I was surprised to only see my mom. My dad had to run into work for a bit. My mom doesn’t like driving to Portland so we had to take the MAX home. Jack fussed a little on the train, but I just nursed him to sleep.

The rest of the trip was great, got to see friends and sorority sisters I haven’t seen in years. And Jack got lots of grandparent time. Michael joined us that Friday too.

He had a solid hour nap on the plane.

The flight home went just as well. We got to the airport with just enough time (I love that there is hardly any traffic in Oregon). I wore him through security and everything went smooth. No cheap offers on first class this time sadly. However, I decided to not take him out of the wrap this time. He was sound asleep and he needed a good nap. If the flight attendants asked me, I would of course comply. But we boarded, got comfy in our seats, and the plane took off. No one said anything. Every airline has a different policy on this so I looked up Alaska’s beforehand and they indeed to do not allow babies to be in carriers during flight. They either need to held or in a carseat in separate seat. I am not advocating breaking any airlines policies or saying the crew didn’t do their jobs. But it worked this one time, and I am glad I got away with it. Jack needed that nap. To be honest, I probably won’t do that again now that he’s older anyways.

He couldn’t just wait until we landed…

He woke up halfway through the flight, so I took him out of the wrap. He was all happy and very interested in looking out the window. Then, he farted really loud and we knew he pooped his diaper. Really kid, you couldn’t wait a little bit longer until we were back in San Jose? Some airplanes do not have changing tables, and I didn’t want to risk hauling Jack and the diaper bag all the way to the bathroom for nothing. So I changed Jack on Michael’s lap quickly. The guy next to Michael was asleep and Jack’s poop didn’t smell yet. Plus, I did it so quick I doubt anyone noticed.

He loved looking out the window!

I tried to nurse him as we descended, but once again he wasn’t having it. So I sat him up and showed him stuff out the window. Look Jack! There’s the Bay! There’s 280! Oh, there’s the Santa Cruz Mountains! Oh, right there baby, is Loma Prieta were a big earthquake came from! There’s Gilroy where all the garlic is! and etc. I’m sure I sounded like a crazy lady, but it made Jack happy. And we landed with no screaming or tears.

We got our bags and met my sister-in-law out front. It all went very well and I have no more worries about flying with a baby anymore. Hopefully he stays this good as a toddlers…

Here is my advice for flying with a baby under 6-months-old:

  • Plan for every possible scenario. Too hot, too cold, running late, running early, flight cancelled, sick baby, sick parents, tired baby, tired parents & etc. And expect that one of these WILL happen. That way you aren’t stressed out when it does happen. I didn’t panic when my mom said we had to take MAX instead because I kept that option in mind. I didn’t panic when he pooped, because I knew that the pressure might upset his tummy. 
  • But don’t over pack. Have back up things in your diaper bag or carry on, like extra diapers and clothes for sure. But don’t bring unnecessary stuff. If your bag is too full, you won’t be able to find stuff easily. And it will be a pain to lug around an airport while holding a baby. 
  • Don’t rush, leave plenty of time in case something does happen—like Bay Area traffic. No one wants to be that person running to the gate with a screaming baby. Horrible way to start or end your vacation.
  • Wear your baby. If you only remember one thing from this post, make it this. Whether it be a wrap, ring sling, soft structured carrier, buckle carrier, mei tai, or any other type—get that baby on you so you can easily move about the busy airport handsfree. 
  • Take care of your babies needs right away. Keep them comfortable as possible to avoid a meltdown.  Feed, change, play and get them down for a nap as needed, don’t delay. Would you be happy sitting in your own pee for a whole plane ride? Or told you can have food as soon as we land when you are starving? I’d sure throw a tantrum too! This is why we changed Jack’s diaper right away. 
  • Try to plan with baby’s schedule in mind.  That way there is even less chance of a meltdown. We flew around times that Jack naps so he could sleep most of the ride. It worked very well. 
  • Ask for help if you need it.  If that nice flight attendant offers to hold your baby while you sit down, let them. If the person next to you asks if you need help getting a bottle from your bag, accept it. Don’t stress yourself out doing it alone. 
  • Help baby with ear pressure. Nursing, a bottle, pacifier, or anything else they can suck during takeoff and landing is a must. Jack was content with just sucking my finger—but he sucked hard, his ears must have really popped.
  • Keep in mind every baby is different. Jack didn’t want to nurse, but was happy looking at the window. Maybe your baby will need to nurse the whole flight. Maybe your baby will scream the whole time no matter what you do.  All of this is okay, so don’t panic if your baby doesn’t cooperate. 
  • Upgrade to first class if you can afford it. And I mean only if you can afford it, don’t go broke because I told you it’s better. But it really was nicer. More room, free snacks and drinks, and just overall more relaxing with a baby. 

Traveling Baby Part 1: Road trip

Our family is lucky enough to have people who love us all over world. Seriously, we have family and friend all over the United States, Australia, New Zealand, The Middle East, and South America. Michael and I love to travel, and are very excited to take Jack on many adventures. I tried to find blogs from other mom’s about traveling with a baby, but most of them were for ones over 6-months-old. I wanted to know what it was like traveling with a baby that can’t even sit up yet. So I hope this post helps someone who is up at midnight the night before a trip with their very little one and finds some relief.

This will be a three part post. Next will be air travel, then traveling without baby for the first time.

For the Fourth of July weekend, we went up to Michael’s sister’s house just outside Sacramento. To avoid the insane traffic from the people heading that way to Lake Tahoe, we decided to leave at 8 PM Wednesday night. Jack goes to bed around that time and usually can fall asleep in the car easily. So, I thought we would get him all ready for bed, put him in the car drowsy and he’d be asleep by the time we hit the freeway. Then he would sleep for the 2 or so hours there, wake for a feeding when we take him out, and then he’ll go right back to bed for the night.  We did something similar when we went to Sonoma for the day. He slept most of the way their so I thought this would be just as easy.

He was good and sleepy, so we got in the car.

Wrong. I was so wrong. So very wrong. I blame my husband for his one entirely. I told him very clearly that we need to leave as soon as I am done nursing Jack, while he is still sleepy. I thought I made it clear we had a small window of drowsiness to get to the freeway to lull him to sleep. I told him to pack the entire car and have everything ready to go while I got Jack ready for bed. So I took him the bath and Michael started packing. I thought all he had to do was put the bags in, feed the cats, and get in the car. Well, once Jack was all ready for bed and nursed to drowsy Michael was still running around. I told him we needed to leave and got in the car. I waited 10 minutes in the car and was getting mad. Jack lost his drowsiness and was WIDE AWAKE. Once Michael finally got in the car, he tells me we need to go drop the garage door opener off at his other sister’s house so she can feed the cats while we are gone. I was very mad. Why didn’t you tell me to do this before!!!! So by the time we drove down the street to her house, Jack was overtired and screaming.  I pulled out a bottle to try to calm him and began to sing to him.

Daddy took too long and now I’m wide awake.

Once were on the freeway, we instantly hit a ton of traffic. Stupid Tahoe traffic…. It took an hour for Jack to fall asleep. I know he would have fallen despite the traffic if we had left when he was drowsy. So between the traffic and being mad at my husband, I was really stressed out and did not want to be stuck in a car for 3 hours. Michael apologized and explained he didn’t understand why I was adamant we leave so quickly. But after seeing how Jack reacted, he got it.

This last about 35 minutes.

So I calmed down and decided to close my eyes for a bit .Then I saw little feet moving out the corner of my eye. He woke up! So I spent the next two hours trying to get him back to sleep. Nothing worked, he was wide awake and pissed off. He was crying and reaching out for me. I knew nothing was wrong, he just needed a calm place to go to sleep. But nothing was going to put him to sleep as long as we was in the seat. Of course as soon as we pulled up to the house, he was got quiet and calm. Michael quickly put the pack n’ play together while I swaddled and nursed him. He slept like an angel that night, only waking once at 5 AM.

Jack had a very fun first Independence Day otherwise. We drove to Lake Tahoe on Saturday to see some friends. Jack did better on that ride. He slept longer because we left right at his nap time. And this time we pulled over when he got crabby. I also brought toys to amuse him when he woke up. On Sunday when we left, he did better as well. There was less traffic so he slept more and only fussed when we were 15 minutes away from home.

Going home was a lot happier. I covered him
up to block the sun so he would sleep longer.

We learned so much from that trip so Jack is doing a lot better in the car now. He has been back to Sacramento and a bunch of other places since then. We will be attempting another night drive in a few weeks for a cousin’s wedding. It’s going to be about an 8 hour drive, I’m hoping that we execute this one properly. I’ll let you know how it goes.

My Advice for Road Trips:

  • Plan for everything to go wrong. That way it’s not stressful if it happens. I was so sure everything was going to work out great that I was not prepared for it to fall apart.
  • Make a plan and STICK TO IT. Improvising will only add stress to you and the baby. If you plan on putting the baby down sleeping in the car like I wanted to, make sure you actually are on the road so they actually go to sleep. I should have made sure everything was packed and done before I ever put Jack in the bath. I should have not put Jack in the car until Michael was in the car first. I should told him his sister didn’t need the garage door opener (she has a key to house she should could still get in) and made him just get on the freeway. I still believe it would have worked (or at least gone better) if we stuck to the plan.
  • Check traffic conditions. I didn’t check traffic until we hit a major backup. I thought for sure we would have missed all the commuters and people who left for Tahoe right after work. We would have taken a back road out the Bay Area and gotten on a different freeway if we had checked first. It probably would have cut 2 hours off our trip. Two hours less stress for Jack.
  • Pull over if baby gets too mad. I don’t know why I didn’t yell for Michael to pull over so I could comfort nurse him back to drowsy. Then he would have been happy and quiet stuck in traffic at least.
  • Bring more milk than you think you need. I only brought one 2 ounce bottle with us. Jack downed that pretty quick and wanted more. And he was even madder when there wasn’t more. I didn’t plan on him being awake and demanding milk! I should have either brought a bag from my freezer stash or just brought my pump to pump as needed in the car.
  • Keep the baby at a good temperature. I bundled Jack all up and once he started screaming, he was dripping in sweat. I ended up pulling off layers through the carseat to cool him down. Likewise, if you are blasting the AC to stay cool, make sure you are not freezing your baby. Try for one simple base layer then adding blankets as needed.
  • Bring entertainment. I also did not pack Jack any toys for the car because I assumed he would be asleep. So when he woke up and had nothing to do, he became bored. An angry baby that is also bored is never a good thing.
  • Bring something soothing. We gave Jack Michael’s old cell phone (deactivated most of the settings) so we can play soothing music for him. This didn’t help much driving that night since Jack was way overtired, but on most other road trips it helps lull him to sleep.

Baby-Lead Weaning: Ditching The Baby Spoon


First of all, I want to say I am not judging anyone who bottle-feds or spoon-feeds their child. All that matters is you love and care for your child. Everything else is just a difference of opinion.

The story of how I am introducing solid food to my son began when I was still in my first trimester. I pretty much spent every day for the first 4 months laying on the couch coping with morning sickness. To distract myself, I looked up pregnancy and baby stuff on Pinterest. I came across this blog post one day and I was intrigued. I thought “Maybe later when the baby is older..” so pinned it. But I kept coming back to that post and thinking about it, it just seemed too good to be true. Women on my Birth Club kept mentioning it too. I knew I wanted to nurse Jack for as long as possible. And I wanted to make my baby food. Baby-led weaning encompasses all that. But I kept telling myself  “Figure it out later.”

The pin that haunted me….

Once Jack was born and we got the hang of nursing, I knew there was no way I wanted to wean him any earlier than 2-years-old. Jack decided that most days he only wants to nap on me, so I ended up with free time on my hands and back on Pinterest. And that post came up again. It was haunting me. So I downloaded the book to my phone and read it during his naps. A major light bulb went on. It all made sense. I found the way I wanted to feed my son and any future children.

I love e-books!

I had three major concerns about feeding my child. First of all, I wanted him to mostly eat highly nutritious, whole, unprocessed food. No junk food, no food-like products, and no empty calories. I want to change the way the western-world thinks about food, and a great place to start is my teaching the new generation. Second, I didn’t want to create a picky-eater. I’ve babysat kids who threw full-on tantrums the minute you even thought of feeding them something new. One little girl cried for an hour when I suggested dipping her quesadilla in salsa. I want my son to want real food, good food. Third, I will do anything to prevent Jack from developing food issues. I have struggled with them my whole life and it’s not until a few years ago did I get it mostly under control. I want him to learn food is for nourishment—of the body and soul—and not a treat or weapon. Baby-led weaning seems to be the answer to all my concerns about introducing solids.

So, what is this crazy new idea called baby-lead weaning? In a nutshell, you only feed your child milk (breast preferably, but formula is okay too) until he is ready to feed himself. And once you introduce solid food, you allow him to learn to eat and do not worry about how much he actually consumes. Then overtime, as he eats more gradually on his own, he will want to nurse less and less until he weans himself.

It’s not a new concept. This is how our ancestors fed their children. Cavewomen nursed their babies for as long as possible because that’s all they had. And when they were older, the cave-babies sat on mommas’ laps and pulled off pieces of roasted saber-toothed tiger meat (or whatever they ate) and gnaw on it. No spoon-feedings. No jar of nasty mushed up vegetables. No force-feeding a certain amount. Why did they feed their children this way and not like most mother do now? First of all , their babies were thriving on breast milk. It adapts as the baby grows to provide the correct calories/vitamins/antibodies to help a baby grow perfectly. And it’s pretty much free and always readily available. Second, feeding a baby this wastes less. Why portion out a totally separate meal of scarce food that this tiny person probably will only eat a few bites of? And waste all that time and energy making it? That cave-baby can just take what they want, and while the family eats the rest. If cave-baby doesn’t like saber-tooth tiger, that’s fine because they already had some breast milk. Baby-led weaning is not new, but forgotten. Once convenient pre-packaged foods became the norm, the idea of feeding your baby from your plate died. Food companies convinced us that only poor, uneducated people would feed their baby table scraps. Good, loving parents will spend the money to feed their child the food they designed for babies. This way of feeding is actually the new concept.

I know you are probably thinking, “But my parents fed me like this and I am okay.” And maybe you are. But I am telling you that I am not. And I don’t believe many from my generation are as good as they could be either. Like I said I have major issues with food. And I believe that—Mom, please don’t take offense to this, I love you and know you did everything you thought was right—that all my food issues go back to how I was fed as a baby. I was breastfed until I was 6 months old (I am very grateful for that!) then switched to formula. I was spoon-fed at 4 months old,  and given rice cereal at 5 months. My mom did make a lot of her own baby food (I am so very grateful for that!) with fresh vegetables and fruit later on. But it was still pureed and spoon-fed. So, what was so bad about this common feeding method? It didn’t teach me anything but how to overeat non-nutrient dense foods. This led to me not learning how to control my food, which led to overeating.. This led to weigh issues, which led to body image issues. So, I am horribly sick and messed up beyond repair from all this? No. But like I said before, it was painful to handle. I know other people from my generation suffer from these issues too. Plus, there is a major rise in severe allergies, painful digestive issues, and horrible migraines that can be all traced back to food.  I don’t think we are really as okay as we claim.

How does baby-led weaning solve this? Let me explain a little bit more how it works. This is once again a nutshell of the rules, I suggest reading the book for an in-depth explanation.

  • Continue to give them milk as their main source of food. Once the learn how to eat, they will begin to wean later.
  • Introduce foods once your baby has met all the milestones, usually around 6 month.
    • Sit up unassisted.
    • Reach out for objects and bring them to their mouth easily
    • Loss of the tongue-thrust reflect (when they automatically force something out of the back of their mouth)
    • Chewing on toys or mimicking you while eating
    • Reaching for and/or taking food to their mouths, if given the opportunity
  • Feed your baby what you are eating, within reason.
  • Chose a few, basic whole foods to start out and make them sure they are easy for them to hold.
  • Let them them be in control. Don’t try to help.
  • Let them make a big mess. Don’t try to clean-up during the feed.
  • Don’t offer too much as once or they may get overwhelmed, and get discouraged. Then they will think eating is stressful.
  • Don’t overly praise them when they do eat something. Then they begin to think that eating makes you happy, so I should eat more to keep you happy. This leads to overeating.
  • Don’t scold for not eating. This will also make eating stressful, too.
  • Don’t worry about how much they are eating, it doesn’t matter. Milk will provide them with the correct nutrition and calories for awhile.
  • Don’t force them to eat something they don’t want. They may be full and more hurts their tummy. Or they simply might not like it and forcing them to eat it once again is creating stress. Or they may be allergic to it and rejecting it is their way of telling you it make them feel ill.
  • Remember, it’s not about the food, it’s about learning a skill.

Baby-led weaning has the potential to eliminate the issues I talked about earlier. Overeating is reduced because they learn overtime how much food they need to be satiated. Babies are born knowing to only remove enough milk from the breast to be full. Trust me, you can’t force a baby to latch on if they don’t want to. However, you can force a bottle-fed baby or spoon-fed baby to take more than they want. This starts them down the road of wanting more than is necessary. But if you never break their natural ability, they will continue to only eat what they need. The food issues are eliminated for two reasons: there is no drastic change and there is less stress. It’s challenging for a baby to go from being spoon-fed bland tasting mush to suddenly being expected to eat normal adult food. They get used to only one texture and one taste, and then you demand they eat all this other crazy stuff? No wonder picky eats usually prefer simple things. But if you allow them to explore various tastes and textures from the start, it’s not so challenging. Plus, breast milk varies in taste based on what mom ate, so it’s not that big of a leap. With less stress, they have the time to learn at their own pace. Would you like to eat with someone standing over you demanding you eat this or else get punished? No, you wouldn’t! So why do it to a baby? All that teaches you is you are bad and food is bad. This mentality hinders the child from learning the skill. Lastly forcing a child to eat something before they are physically ready can create health problems. Babies are born with holes in their stomach lining to allow the nutrients of milk to seep into other parts of their bodies easier. If you force a child to eat solids before they are ready, these holes do not seal properly and cause digestive and immune system issues.

All this is why I am foregoing the spoon and jar, and letting my son eat from my plate. In my next post, I will explain how the journey is going so far.

Resources:
Infant—Food and Feeding, American Pediatric Association.
Baby-Led Weaning Website
Breastfeeding, World Who Organization

The End of Sleep Regression

A month ago I posted about how we were dealing with the evil four-month sleep regression. At the time we were right at the peak of it. The night after I posted that was Jack’s worst by far. It took over an hour to get him to close his eyes. He just kept screaming and making himself more overtired. Then once I finally thought he was asleep and set him down, he woke right back up. Another 45 minutes of frantic nursing and crying, he finally passed out and stayed asleep when I set him down. Then he woke-up every hour for the rest of the night. At 4 AM I went out the living room and cried out of exhaustion. And of course, once I got myself together and went back to the bedroom,  Jack woke right back up! At that point I put him in bed with us, but it didn’t help. He still woke up every hour until 8 AM when he decided to be up for good. I wanted to die. And naps weren’t any better that day. He screamed and nursed frantically. And when he did finally go to sleep, I couldn’t set him down and he only slept for 15 minutes in my arms. And he did this every 2 hours. I called out sick from work that day because I couldn’t function properly.

“It’s 10 PM? You want to go to sleep? That’s nice. I’m WIDE awake!”

After that night, it slowly got better. And I mean slowly. Like another month slowly. That’s right, it took a whole 56 days for Jack to sleep through the night again. What’s weird is everything went back to normal in reverse order, like he magically hit the rewind button. First, he started to go down easily for naps. Then his naps went back to the normal 30-90 minutes. Next, he started waking only every 2 hours at night. Then 3 hours. Suddenly he went to sleep easily at night. Lastly, he went back to his normal 5-6 hour stretch, followed by two more 3 hours stretches. It’s just like all the books said, he did go back to normal once he learned how to handle the adult sleep cycles. Last night I officially declared the regression over. I got 8 hours of sleep total and it felt amazing!

So what is my advice to any parent struggling through this hell? Do nothing. Seriously. Just keep your baby’s normal routine (being flexible as needed) and understand that neither you nor your baby can control this. If it worked before, it will work again once your child brain develops enough. I know you were probably wanting to hear that I did some magic sleep training program to get him back on track quickly. But I don’t believe in sleep training, I honestly think it’s mean. Why would you force your baby into something that they are not designed to do yet?  I think the time and energy you waste on forcing strict training on your child should be used to comfort and encourage them during such big mental leaps instead.

That being said, there are a few things you can do to help your child master the skill of sleeping better (note I said better, not prefect).

  • Have a bedtime routine. That way they begin to recognize a pattern of events that lead up to sleep. We do bath, lotion massage, pajamas while calmly talking/singing, nurse on the couch with all the lights out until he’s asleep. He’s learned this pattern now too, he starts giving me the milk face while I put his pajamas on.
  • Put them to sleep in a dark, calm room. Turn off the lights (we leave a night light on so I can see him when he fusses). Make sure there is no loud noises that could startle them (loud neighbors outside,  noisy dishwasher, & etc.). Keep the room at a decent cool temperature. Use a white noise machine if you like too (we use a box fan). Pretty much remove all outside stimulation that could keep your baby awake if they do happen to open there eyes for second.
  • Lay them down drowsy. This encourages them to put themselves to back to sleep when they wake-up at night. I know I said I nurse him to sleep, but the walk to the bedroom usually wakes him a little. He wiggles and opens his eyes a bit as I set him down. I usually step out out of his view and watch to make sure he goes to sleep. Ninety-nine percent of the time he does instantly.
  • Learn the difference between real and fake cries. When Jack was in the middle of his sleep regression, I notice sometimes when I picked him up when he cried, he would forcefully open his eyes and start screaming. Then he would throw a tantrum and it would take an hour to put him back to sleep. After a week of this, I research it and realized he was not actually awake when he cried. Babies—especially when in a sleep regression–cry in their sleep if they are dreaming or in between sleep cycles. I picked him up too soon. I would scream too if someone woke me up from a sound sleep! So one night when he cried I sat-up and watch him for a second. He kept his eyes closed and his hands stayed soft. He cried for maybe 2 minutes tops, but it wasn’t loud, more like a fuss. Then he went right back to sleep and slept 3 more hours. Later he cried again, but this time his eyes were open and he reached out for me. Then I picked him up, nursed him, and he went back to sleep in 5 minutes. If they are really crying, always comfort them. I do not believe in letting them cry-it-out. A baby under 6 months does not have the mental capacity to manipulate you, they only cry when they need something. And yes, attention and reassurance at this age are basic needs.
  • Don’t change your comforting methods. If you start something new during this time, they will get used to it and want you to keep doing it after the regression is over. For example, if you never sat on yoga ball and bounced them back to sleep before, don’t start doing it “just for now” to get them to sleep quicker. It will become a new crutch that you will always have to do at 3 AM.. Do you really want to bounce on a yoga ball at that ungodly hour for the next year? Didn’t think so. I kept on picking Jack up and nursing him back to sleep. If he was really fussy, I patted him bottom and shushed. If he really wasn’t having it, Michael would turn on his calming music and I would gently rock him. But these were the things I had done since birth. The only difference was I had to do them for longer. Now that he is back to normal, I went back to doing them normally too. No crazy sleep crutches at 3 AM.
  • Walk away if you reach the breaking point. It’s okay if you get too stressed out from lack of sleep, you don’t have to be prefect. One night I went to bed right when Jack did because I was exhausted, and of course he woke up as soon as my head hit the pillow. I tried for an hour to put him back to sleep but he was WIDE awake. I carried him to the living room crying and told Michael he had to take him. I went to sleep for three hours while Michael tried in vain to get him back down. I woke up at midnight and nursed him back to sleep. He still woke up every hour after that, but with a little sleep I gained some composure and prescriptive. Remember they are not torturing you, they are just learning a new skill and need your help mastering it.
Woke-up with his cute face after 9 hours of sleep.
It does get better, just be patience.

Just be patience. Seriously, this will not last forever. One day your baby will be leaving for college and all you will have are the memories of rocking them back to sleep at 3 AM.  Don’t over stress and make those long nights more painful than they need to be. Keep loving your baby and help them through this phase.

The Thing I Said I Would Never Do: Co-sleeping

I’ve mentioned before on here how I was trying to avoid co-sleeping—sharing a bed with the baby. I know that humans have done it for centuries and that many cultures around the world still do. My parents and my in-laws did it too. I even read about how to do it safely. But it really did not sound like it was for me. I am very particular about my sleep because I struggled with insomnia in the past. Plus, it just seemed so weird. I wanted to share my bed with my husband, not our child. I brought it up to Michael and he said he will do whatever makes me happy. So agreed Jack would sleep in his own bed every night.

Clockwise: On the monitor in his crib, on the monitor in
the bassinet, in his pack n play, and in his swing.

We bought Jack a lovely crib and fixed up the bassinet Michael used as baby. We also bought a Pack n Play for when we visit family and friends. And we got a swing second-hand from a friend. Jack had plenty of places to sleep, no need to even give co-sleeping a second thought. When Jack was born, he was pretty willing to sleep anywhere.

At the hospital, he was so tired it was like talking to a zombie.

We started putting him in his crib at first, but getting up 10 times a night got old fast. What we didn’t consider is that babies wake-up every 2-3 hours to nurse at night. And sometimes, even every 45 minutes. And we didn’t realize how exhausted we would be from the whole birth experience. Do you know how much it sucks to get up every hour when you are still sore from pushing a baby out? Do you know your husband will be a zombie from not being able to sleep much at the hospital? That went on for about a week before we decided to try something else.

Then we tired putting him in the crib for the first part of the night when he slept the longest, then after I nursed him sitting up in put bed and I put him in the bassinet next to me. So when he woke up again, all I had to do was reach over and pick him. It was so much easier, but we still weren’t getting enough good sleep some nights.

One day three weeks postpartum, I woke up very very sore. It hurt to sit up to nurse him. My mom mentioned to me that she loved nursing laying down because she could rest. So I laid him next to me on the couch and nursed him. He fell right asleep and stayed asleep next to me while I watched TV for 3 hours. It was great!

“I look like I’m sound asleep, but put me down and I will SCREAM!”

The next Monday Michael had to go back to work, meaning it was Jack and I alone for the first time. I was still tired and sore, so of course Jack decided he only wanted to sleep in my arms. I thought maybe I could just lay down with him in the twin bed in the nursery for a bit? So we tried and both went asleep easily. Two hours later we woke up very happy.

Right before he woke up from our first long nap together, so cute.

I talked to my mom about it and said explained again that it really was the only way she got any sleep in the beginning. But I was so worried about SIDS or him suffocating. She said that yes, tragic accidents do happen but she did it with me—and I am still alive. The next day I decided to try again with his afternoon nap, but this time in our queen-sized bed.The next thing I knew Michael was walking in the door and we had been asleep for 4 hours! Jack had even latch himself on my breast in his sleep. I remember pulling him in closer instinctively, then going back to sleep.

So I thought about it some more and realized maybe I had demonized co-sleeping for no reason. The concerns I had before mostly vanished. Once I got over the initial worry,  I actually slept great. And I didn’t need to get up every hour because Jack was right there. He would either fuss and I pulled him to my breast, or he would just latch himself on. Then he went right back to sleep. And he could stay latched as long as he needed and I could go back to sleep. And I naturally adjusted to having him in the bed and didn’t mind sleeping on my side.

I talked to Michael about it and he said he was willing to try whatever we needed to get some more sleep. But he was concerned about somethings. So we did more research and we came to an agreement. We would not co-sleep the first part of the night because we did want Jack to learn how to sleep on his own. And we agreed we would not co-sleep every night. And we would follow the rules every time he did sleep with us.

We didn’t  try sleeping together as a family until a week later. Jack got his 2 months shots and just conked out after. Michael and I were tired too, so we decided to try a family nap. We took all the heavy blankets off the bed. Michael and I only had a light sheet tucked-in around our waists. I laid down with Jack, then Michael got in. Soon we were all fast asleep. Three hour later we all woke up very happy.

They were so cute, I just had to take a picture.

Co-sleeping on occasion is a great choice for our family. Now we only put Jack in bed with us if he’s fussy and it’s still too early to get up for the day, like around 5 or 6 AM. And he and I take naps together a few times a week too. Not only is it so much easier, but it’s so beautiful. When I open my eyes to see my boys laying in the same position with the same happy looks on their faces, my heart melts. And Michael loves coming home to see us snuggled up together. Looking back at my own childhood, I think about those Sunday morning where my brother and I jumped into bed with my parents for snuggles and I can’t believe I ever denied co-sleeping.

All that being said, before you dive into co-sleeping, please do some research and make sure it is right for your family. Sharing your bed with your baby isn’t for everyone, so please discuss it thoroughly with your partner and take all factors into consideration first. The information I got from my local La Leche League was the most helpful. Please scour the internet, there is tons of info.

Resources on co-sleeping:
Sleep-Sharing: The Family Bed, Baby Center
Pros & Cons of Co-Sleeping, What To Expect
Sharing Sleep With Babies: The Benefits of Nighttime Slumbers, La Leche League
SIDS and Other Sleep-Related Infant Deaths, American Academy of Pediatrics
Co-Sleeping and Bed-Sharing, Kellymom
Safe Co-Sleeping Habits, Ask Dr. Sears

Oversupply and Undersupply

I was one of those lucky women whose milk came in quickly ( 3 days after birth). And I made the correct amount right from the start. The first two weeks I was just engorged enough to meet Jack’s demands during those first few growth spurts but not be leaking all the time. Then I somehow got it in my head I needed to accumulate a massive freezer stash as soon as possible. So I started to pump whenever I could. I also took fenugreek everyday for 2 weeks to boost my supply. By the time Jack was a month old I had over 100 ounces frozen. I was so proud, my baby could eat for several days!

His first milk coma. I should have know if
he was happy, I was making enough milk.

Around this time I got my first clogged duct—and man did it hurt. A few days later I got another. Then another. I also noticed Jack’s diapers where green and frothy. He also started to cough/choke and pull off my breast when my letdown started. I asked my lactation consultant, she said I likely had a strong letdown caused by an oversupply. I told her I was pumping a lot and she said that was really unnecessary. Unless I planned on being away from him often, I didn’t need more than a few bottles worth stashed.

My freezer stash again. I am considering
donating some of it now.

I looked up on La Leche’s website how to correct an oversupply. I stopped taking the fenugreek and right away I stopped getting insanely engorged. Then I didn’t need to pump during the day at all. I only pumped for relief if Jack slept through the night. And when he woke up to nurse at night, I pumped the other side after to keep it from leaking and waking me up. It was painful at first and I got two more clogged duct during the process. Jack’s also stopped choking and his diapers went back to normal. I felt silly for thinking I needed to make so much extra milk everyday. It only caused Jack and I problems.

Then my milk stabilized around 12 weeks postpartum. Many moms mistake this for their milk drying up. Your body figured out how much milk to make for your baby, so you no longer get engorged and will leak a lot less. I knew this was coming and welcomed the relief. I only woke up 1 or 2 times a week to pump at night.
I had just nursed him and he was still giving me the milk face.
About this time I also went back on birth control. I know that exclusively breast feeding can be a very effect form of birth control when done correctly, but I didn’t want to take that chance. Jack is the best surprise of my life, but I am so not ready for any more. I selected Mirena, which the doctor told me repeatedly has little to no chance of interfering with my milk supply. At first there were no issues, so I didn’t think twice about it. Then Jack hit the 4 month sleep regression. He woke every hour to two hours at night, demanding milk. I had plenty so it was not an issue at the start. He was nurse for 5 minutes then would easily go back to sleep. About a week into the sleep regression is when my Mirena took full affect and I noticed right away Jack was nursing for 20 minutes or more. And he getting frustrated. Sometime he even demanded the other side as well. This also started to happen during the day. One day I pumped to make a bottle so I could go out for a bit and hardly anything came out. I mean I spent 30 minutes barely getting 1 ounces from both sides. No wonder Jack was getting frustrated! I know pumping is not a good indication of total output because your baby is better at removing milk, but I always responded well to pumping. Something was wrong.
I realized that it had to be the Mirena, since nothing else changed. I talked to my lactation consultant again. She brought up the whole “most mom mistake stabilization for a loss of supply” thing, despite me telling her I knew the difference. So she weighed him before and after a feeding session right there at the office to show me he was getting enough. Jack nursed for 20 minutes and barely got 1.5 ounces. She said that he will need to nurse more often if that is all he getting. And eventually I might need to supplement with formula if it interferes with his weight gain. She really did not want that to happen though, she urged me to just keep at it.

I asked my local La Leche League for help. A couple moms also experienced a dip in supply when returning to birth control. One mom said that it’s because it signals your body to start having menstrual cycle hormones again. Those interfere with the hormones for milk production. She suggested I take the Mirena out if it becomes a major issue. I didn’t want to take it out, but I also did not want my milk to dry up. I want to nurse Jack until at least two-years-old, and no stupid little medical device was going to prevent me from reaching my goal.

I was going back to work in 2 weeks and did not want to use up my freezer stash. I knew that if I turned to the stash I would be demanding less of my breasts, causing them to make even less. This would only make the problem worse. So I pulled out all the stops. The lactation consultant told me to go back on fenugreek. I could up to 4 pills 3 times a day if I needed. I ordered a two-pack of the big bottles off of Amazon Mom. I also made lactation cookies (check out my food blog for the recipe) and devoured of them all. I also ate oatmeal with a big scoop of brewer’s yeast (also got off of Amazon Mom) for breakfast every morning. I drank Mother’s Milk Tea and a ton of water daily too. I also let Jack nurse all he wanted. I even let him stay latch for 5-10 minutes once he fell asleep for a nap to increase the demand on my body. I also pumped every chance I got.

It took 12 days of being vigilant, but it worked! One night I got up to pump at 3 AM and got my normal 3-4 ounces. Jack stopped fussing at my breast during the day and fell asleep easily again at night (though he still woke up often because of the sleep regression). I cut back on the marathon nursing sessions and only make lactation cookies when I want a treat. I am still taking the fenugreek to keep my supply from dipping again. I scaled back though, only 2 pills 2 times a day.

It came just in time too, the next day I started back at work. The milk I pumped that night became his bottles for my first evening back. It’s been 4 weeks now and my supply is back to normal. I stabilized again and don’t get engorged often at all. I never had to touch my freezer stash (I am actually considering donating my stash now) and I didn’t need to supplement with formula either. Stubbornness paid off big time!

How cute is the romper I got in Napa?

I shared this story because I couldn’t find another one like it. I am not judging anyone who chooses to give formula or needs to supplement at all. Always do what’s best for you and your baby. But I hear from friends and other moms who didn’t get the support and information they needed to push through breastfeeding hurdles. Breastfeeding is not always easy and does not always come naturally. It’s work and takes a commitment. It is possible to succeed, don’t discouraged! If your baby is gaining weight and making enough dirt/wet diapers, don’t worry about needing to supplement. Your body is amazing and can fix the issue if you let it. I have fixed an oversupply and undersupply in the span of 4 months now. Get help and seek out support like I did.

Here are resources I used:
How Does Milk Production Work, KellyMom
Fenugreek Seeds For Increasing Milk Supply, KellyMom
Oversupply, La Leche League
Engorgement, La Leche League
Brestfeeding and Fertility, KellyMom
Increasing Low Milk Supply, KellyMom
Is Baby Getting Enough Milk?, Kellymom

Pumping at Work

In my last post I mentioned that I went back to work two weeks ago. Michael feeds Jack bottles while I am gone, so I have to pump at work. Before I returned to work, I did pump a little. Mostly because Jack was sleeping through the night (stupid sleep regression) and I pumped for relief. I never set an alarm to pump, usually Jack woke around 4 AM, ate from one side and I got up to pump the other. I froze that milk so I had a stash for when my parent watch him next month when we go on a trip for anniversary. Side note: I love the Up& Up and Lansinoh freezer bags. But make sure you seal the Lansinoh really tight or they can leak when you thaw them. The Up& Up are cheaper and have never leaked for me though.

The first bag I ever pumped, I was so proud.

The first time you pump is really weird. It might hurt if your nipples haven’t toughen up yet (or were horribly bruised from nursing like mine). To ease the pain, I put a little bit olive oil on my nipples and the flanges first. And once I finished, I put on lots of lanolin. It hurt way less than nursing did at first though. But like I said, it’s weird. You really will feel like a cow. But just remember you are doing something amazing for your little one.

source

Anyways, I first bought an Evenflo Deluxe Advanced Double Electric Breast Pump. I knew nothing about pumps so I just went by price. For the price the machine is not bad and did get the job done. It comes with a tote bag,  a separate mini cooler with ice packs, 2 bottles and 2 different flanges sizes. I also like that it’s not that loud. But, it’s not that powerful. I have a really strong letdown, then afterwards it goes to a weak stream. Without a strong suction to boost the stream up, it just takes forever to drain my boobs. To be honest, I think I wasted my money on it. If you are just going to pump on occasion or don’t need that much suction, it is worth the money. However, for me personally, it just didn’t cut it.

Stimulation mode is awesome and the
suction is good for such a small device.

After awhile it became such a pain to set-up and use an electric pump at night when I was only doing one side. So I thought I’d try a hand pump. I got a Medela Harmony and it worked fantastic! It’s easy to clean and use when I am half asleep at 4 in the morning. I love that it has two pumping modes, stimulation and normal. The stimulation mode starts my letdown way more efficiently than the Evenflo one did. And because I controlled the pumping speed, I could change the suction instantly to my needs. I got way more out with just this simple little pump than I did before. They are fairly inexpensive and totally worth the money. And great to keep with you when are travelling or if you start leaking while away from your baby.

I LOVE this pump. And yeah, I am using the treadmill
as table for my stuff. Joys of pumping in public.

Then when I turned to work I got the Medela Double Electric for free (your insurance company and WIC will provide you with a pump for free). I LOVE IT! It has great suction power, stimulation mode, and several speeding settings to keep my stream going as needed. It comes in its own portable bag too. You never need to take it out, there is a zipper opening on the side to access the controls.

There is a pocket inside to store all the parts. And a cooler with ice packs to store the expressed milk for up to 10 hours. I should have just waited for this pump. It’s more expensive (if you don’t get it for free) but SO worth the money.

As far as pumping at work, first you need to know your rights. All employers MUST give you a break to express milk, a reasonable amount of time to do it in, and a place that is not a restroom to do. This is all under Federal law. Check out the Department of Labor website here for more information. My husband was nice and talked to our HR guy for me while I was on maternity leave. He suggested that the gym was the best place for me to pump. Not many people actually use the gym so it don’t have to worry about people barging in. Plus the door locks and there is a shade on the window next to the door for privacy. A couple people have asked why I keep going into the gym, so I just politely explained and they understood. I also talked with my boss before I went on leave and before I got back. He approved my pumping schedule. It was pretty easy overall, but I really suggest working this stuff out beforehand and making sure everyone who might be affected is on board. That way there are no issues to stress you out (stress hurts your supply) when you get back to work.

I pump every two hours for 20 minutes. Once at 5 PM and again at 7 PM. I chose these times because this is normally when Jack eats each day. I suggest (if possible) having a pumping schedule similar to your feeding schedule so it does not effect your supply.

I suggest either buying or making your own hand-free pumping bra. It really sucks to be sitting there holding  your boobs for 20 minutes. I made one out of an old sports bra by cutting slits wide enough for the flanges to go through.  And bring something with you to do while you pump, it can get boring. I either play on my phone or take some paper work with me.

Since breast milk can be left at room temperature for up to 8 hours, I don’t fully wash the pumping parts after each session. I rinse off them in the breakroom (once again, no one cares, just do it calmly and quietly). Then I put them back in the bag with and use them again for the second session. After the second session I just stick back in the bag and give them a thorough cleaning when I get home.

I first started pumping into the storage bottles that came with the pump. But it got annoying washing 2 or 3 extra bottles at night. I realized that the bottles Jack drinks from fit onto the pump so I started pumping straight into them. I bring an extra storage bottle just in case I make extra.

source

Jack likes the Evenflo Classic Glass 4 Ounce Bottles. I got great advice from a friend when I was pregnant on what bottles to start with—pick ones that look most like your nipples. After some trips to the store and awkwardly trying to decide what looks the closest, I settled on these.  However, you may have better luck with bottles designed for breast feeding babies, like these suggestions from Baby Center. Also, don’t wait to introduce a bottle until you go back to work. They might get too used to the breast and not take it. However, don’t introduce it too until they have latched correctly and repeatedly, or else they may get too used the bottle and reject your breast. We introduced a bottle slowly starting at 3 weeks. He would get maybe one a week. Then a few weeks before I went back to work he started to get several more a week to help ease the transition.

It takes a little guessing on how much to leave. The lactation consultant told me an ounce for every hour I’m gone. I last nurse him 6 hours before I get home, so 6 ounces. So the first day I left two 3-ounce bottles. Jack plowed right through those, obviously this kids needs more than 1 ounce an hour. So the next day I left two 4-ounce bottles, plus a little spare. He plowed through the first, and then happily suck the other down slowly later. I found the winning combination. And sometimes he doesn’t need all of the last one either, I think he knows I’m coming soon and waits for me. To make this all easier on Michael, I line them up in order of use in the fridge.

All lined up and ready to go in the fridge.

Then there is the storage issue. Some moms rotate their freezer stash. They pumped milk while on maternity leave and thaw out as needed each day, using the oldest bags first. Then replenish the stash with what they pumped that day. Others don’t have a stash and just use what they pumped the day before. This is what I do, even though I do have a stash. What I pump on Monday gets bottle up and fed on Tuesday. Tuesday gets fed on Wednesday, & etc.. And since breast milk lasts up to 6 days in the fridge, Friday’s get fed on Monday.

My freezer stash of about 350 ounces.

Before I went back to work I read some other blogs about pumping and it really helped. Happy Home Fairy’s Extreme Pumping- Confessions of an Exclusive Pumper is SUPER helpful. Although I’m not a teacher, I really like Healthful Mama’s Back-to-School Breastfeeding: Pumping in Your Classroom.

So far I have been able to comfortably pump at work and make enough milk each night without having to touch my freezer stash. However, check out my next post about the supply issue I had a few weeks ago that also had me reaching for my stash.

Life With A Two-Month Old

It’s been two months already? Seriously? I’ve used up 2/3 of my maternity leave! I feel like they placed a newborn on my chest in the delivery room just yesterday!

A lot has changed in two months. Jack has gone from my tiny little newborn who barely opened his eyes to a chubby little baby who is bright and alert. I went from a girl who was terrified to nurse to a mom who can walk around the house with her baby latched on to her boob. Eight weeks ago I was so overwhelmed I never dreamed that would happen for either of us. But I am so glad it did! He’s almost 13 pounds now and I am only 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight too!

1 week old vs. 8 weeks old.

So what is life like with my two-month old baby? Great! He plays and laughs now  I love watching him learn new things everyday. He smiled for the first time around 3 weeks and he’s doing it more each day. He even laughs now! We do have bad days still. The days where he just screams and cries no matter what I try. Those days I just comfort him the best I can and tell myself it will pass (despite how much it breaks my heart to see him so upset). I think of the happy times and remember he will not be a baby forever so I need to cherish it.

One happy time is bathtime. He loves bath now. He always calms down instantly when we put him in. He splashes around and is even trying to play with his toy. He takes a bath with me sometimes too. I get the bath ready and Michael hands him to me wrapped in hand towel. I suggest the towel for a few reasons.  First of all it keeps him warmer. Second babies get really slippery, the towel gives you some more friction to grab on to. Third, babies poop when they feel relaxed. I cover his booty with the towel so if he does poop, I stay clean.

He also stopped pooping at night, which means he sleep almost through the night now! He only wakes up once (maybe twice) to eat. This also means we stopped changing his wet diapers at night. This way he doesn’t get overstimulated and will go back to sleep easier. Michael gets him from his big crib, checks to make sure he didn’t poop or his diaper isn’t leaking. If it is, only then does he change him. Then he gives him to me and I nurse him and rock him back to sleep. Then I put him in his bassinet next to our bed for the rest of the night (usually 3 more hours). Unfortunately he only drinks one side so I still have to get up to pump. But that only takes a few minutes and then I’m back to bed.

We can also take him out more now. We go for walks almost everyday, he loves looking at people passing by us. He usually falls asleep a few minutes into the walk and somehow magically wakes up right when we get home. He goes to the store with me sometimes too, but he isn’t always good about that. I think it’s all the fluorescent lights.

Breakfast with Daddy in Sonoma.

For Father’s Day we went to Sonoma for the reenactment of the Bear Flag Revolt. He napped in his Boba Wrap most of the day luckily. He even slept through the gunpowder shots during the reenactment, granted we hid in the back of the crowd and I covered his ears as best I could. I was so happy to be out of the house and talking to adults. I suggest when taking your baby out for a long period of time, make sure you get them to nap whenever they start giving you the sleepy cues (like yawning, covering their eyes, and fussing slightly). Stroller, wrap, car seat, your arms—whatever it takes to get them down, just don’t let them skip naps.

This was from the start of his Wonder Week, he sucked
on his toy for the first time, I was blown away.

The second month is also when your baby has their second Wonder Week. I didn’t know about these until recently It’s when your baby makes a huge mental leap, like a brain growth spurt. Two weeks ago Jack was so insanely fussy that I didn’t know what to do. He would get mad when I tried to play with him like I always had been. He would nap only an hour at time—if I could get him down, he fought every nap. He also started fussing at my boob when I tried to nurse him. It took forever to get him to latch on and when he did, he just wanted to comfort nurse forever. He’d scream if I unlatched him before he was ready to stop. And at night he went back to waking up every 2 hours to eat. I was so confused and getting overwhelmed again. Then someone on my the April 2014 Birth Club mentioned Wonder Weeks so I looked it up. I found an app and downloaded it. It explained all these fussy behaviors were normal and not permanent. He just needed some extra comfort while he was starting to see the world around him differently. And he needed me to play with him differently now, more interaction and stimulation. The app has a chart that shows about when your baby will enter a wonder week and exit it. And about a week later it ended and Jack went back sleeping well at night and stopped fussing so much. The app helped me prepare for everything. I had to keep playing more interactively. And his naps change, no more three 2-3 hour naps. He now takes four 1-2 hour naps. I like that he’s up for longer period of times, but now I have less time to get stuff done around the house. I really suggest downloading the app, it’s nice to know what to expect and that it’s all normal.

That’s Jack’s life two months in, in a nutshell!