Category: babymama

Will You Let Your Son Join a Fraternity?

I am a proud member of the Gamma Phi Beta Sorority. I was initiated at Nu Chapter at the University of Oregon my freshman year and I am the current Chapter Advisor for Epsilon Omicron Chapter at the University of California Santa Cruz.

Aren’t I a cute little sophomore?

Joining was one of the best decisions I made in my life and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I honestly would have dropped out of school entirely if it had not been for the support of the women of Nu Chapter.

Nu Chapter’s class of 2010, I would not have graduated if it wasn’t for these ladies.

Gamma Phi taught me to hold myself to a higher standard, respect people from different backgrounds and circumstances, and how to contribute to the greater good. During my collegiate time, all members had to maintain a GPA of 2.75 (B-‘s or better). In addition, you had to do community service each term. And, you had to attend social issues ( a guest speaker on campus who presents a relevant topic such a human trafficking or alcoholism). There were mandatory attendance events like weekly chapter meetings and philanthropies. You can also hold officer positions too, and I held several over the years.

Flipping pancakes for our annual philanthropy, Pancake Breakfast.
We raise money for our national philanthropy Campfire USA. I loved being Philanthropy Chair.

And yes, I went to some wild parties that I will never tell my mother about. But you cannot attend parties if you do not meet all these requirements and follow all the rules. If you violate the rules, we have our own disciplinary system in place so we can hold our sisters accountable for their poor choices. It teaches that you must earn the things you want in life. Greek Life is nothing like Animal House (which happened to be filmed at Oregon).

Despite being filmed on my campus, this was SO NOT my experience.
Though I love this movies and it’s funny say
partied in Omega House during college.
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I also love being an Advisor. Over the past year and a half, I have seen the members of Epsilon Omicron grow into strong women and outstanding leaders.

So, this begs the questions: Will I let my children join a fraternity or sorority? The answer is yes and no….let me explain…

First of all, the sad truth that not everyone is meant to be Greek. Some people will never like the structure and ritual—and there is nothing wrong with that. And they wouldn’t be secret societies if everyone was in them! My husband is amazing man, but he is so not a fraternity man. He is what we call an independent. If my son (or maybe my daughter one day) takes after his dad with that independent spirit, I would never pressure him into joining.

Second, there is the issue of non-conformity in the some Greek Systems. While some states/universities do an amazing job of ensuring the safety of all students, other do not. The State of Oregon has very strict hazing laws (zero tolerance actually) and Gamma Phi Beta has very strict housing/membership requirements (in addition to a zero tolerance hazing rule). So pretty much it is impossible for any Chapter to last in the State of Oregon if they try to be Animal House (and I did see two bad chapters get shut down during my collegiate time–and trust me they deserved it). A lot of other states have just as high of standard for nationally recognized Greek houses (see California’s here). So if my child went to school in a state with these regulations, I would most likely approve.

Nothing like this ever happened to me, and should never happen to anybody.
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Third, there is the issue of local chapters, ones that are not affiliated with a nationally recognized Greek organization. Local chapter usually consist of a few college students who come together to form a small, localized house. Some do this in order to establish Greek life on their campus, in hopes of one day be colonized and accepted into a national organization. Some do this to start a new national organization one day. But there are some (but not all) that do not want to ever be a national organization and want to follow their own rules—meaning they can haze and not have to worry about grades.

My wonderful Epsilon Omicron Chapter collegiates at Fall 2013 recruitment.
I took this picture because I was so proud of them. No Delta House here.

An example of such a local organization actually comes from UCSC and was featured on MTV back in 2004. The bad reputation this behavior left on the campus is still effecting Greek life today! When I tried to introduce myself to some key people on campus last year, the first thing most of them said was “Why are you contacting me? Did your members get in trouble?” Now there are rumors that all of Greek Life are wild drunks, which is making it harder for me to start the process of getting them a Chapter house. No child of mine will ever be allowed to join an unstructured organization. I will never allow my child to haze or harass people (or barbecue a beloved campus animal). I will not spend good money on a education if they just want to goof off all day. As a side note, my current collegiates do not act this either nor would anyone in Gamma Phi Beta allow them to.

And lastly, there is the issue of why they want to join. I have been through several recruitment processes now—as potential member hoping to be selected by a chapter, a initiated member trying to select new sisters, and as an Advisor overseeing the process. I have heard practically every reason for wanting to join a sorority there is. Everything from “I want friends for life!” to “I want to kiss a lot of frat boys.” I personally went through recruitment because I felt lost in life and hoped to find some guidance. If my child wanted to join for a similar positive reason, I would absolutely support it. But if I hear the words party, beer, sex, drugs, slacking off, or hazing I will bring their butt home instantly and figure out where I went wrong.

Epsilon Omicron Chapter’s Spring Recruitment 2013.
I’m a sister for life. I would be proud if my son or daughter
wanted to carry on my Greek legacy.

I would be very proud if my son joined a Fraternity one day and matured into one of the outstanding gentlemen that I had the privilege to meet during college. And if I have a daughter one day, I would be more than proud to place my Gamma Phi Beta pin on her one day and call me my sister (I could not type that without tearing up). But only if it right for them, right for the organization, and helps them become a better person.

Fluid Retention and Weight Gain

In addition to the counselor I mentioned in my last post, my OB/GYN also offers a nutritionist. She was fine with my vegan diet and said my blood work was the best she has seen in awhile. And my exercise routine was adequate. However, then she became concerned I gained 6 lbs before week 11. It is one more pound than normal, so a lectured ensued. I felt like she was accusing me of lying about my diet and exercise. Afterwards, I cried in my car. She made me feel like a horrible mom already for gaining one more pound than I should have. As a teenager I really struggled with my weight and worked really hard to get healthy. All my former fat insecurities just came flooding back.

14 weeks here, looking back I can totally see how bloated I was.
I told my husband about it that night, and he told me to ignore her. He said I am still beautiful and, more importantly, I am supposed to gain weight to make a baby. And it’s one pound. The appointment was in the afternoon so it could have just been from eating lunch and drinking water all day. I decided he was right. I just brushed it all off and continue what I was doing since the baby and I were both healthy.
At my 20 weeks appointment I had gained 7 more pounds, which the doctor said that was perfectly fine. The gain didn’t bother me, but I was just confused how I gained that much in 5 weeks. I did not think I was eating that much. My belly had really popped and I couldn’t eat much at all without it hurting.

The next week my lower back and hips really started to ache. Michael was very nice and bought me a prenatal massage. The message therapist told me I was retaining a lot fluid and toxins around my hips, which was probably causing all my discomfort. She worked the area well to get the fluids moving again. She also told me to up my water intake by at least 3 glasses.

Michael bought me a pink one so I’d stop stealing his.
Are you kidding me? I already drink 3 refills of my pink water bottle at work, plus one glass when I wake up, one with dinner, and some before bed! And I pee like 10 times day! How can I possibly drink more!/?!/!?
The day after the massage, a huge difference.
I am not all puffy and my belly looks reasonable for 21 weeks

When I got home after the massage, I peed for what felt like an eternity. And right after that, all my back/hip pain was gone. I realized that maybe she was right. For whatever reason I was retaining a lot of fluid. So I decided to give drinking more water a shot.

Over the next 3 days I upped my water intake to 5-6 refills of my water bottle at work. Saturday morning I weighed myself and was surprised to see I lost 3 pounds. I had not changed my caloric intake (we even ate out one night) or exercise, and I somehow lost weight. I weighed myself the next day and it was still the same. I had really only gained 11 pounds, not the confusing 14. I guess I really was retaining fluids!
So I asked my mom. She said that water really does flush out your system and helps you maintain a healthy weight. And that it’s a probably a very good thing I caught my water retention early. She worries that I will develop Toxemia or Preeclampsia like she did while pregnant.
 I am now 23 weeks, and still eating the required calories a day and getting my exercise. I have only gained one more pound. I am not concerned about not gaining a pound a week like I am supposed to. I think my body is still trying to get out all the excess fluid. From now on I will try to be more on track with it though.
23 weeks and feeling A LOT better.
No bloat and no crazy weight gain.
I am also in love with sweater from H &M.

What is the lesson from all this? DRINK WATER! AND DRINK LOTS OF IT!!!

I admit I did not drink that much water in my first trimester because I was so nauseous. I should have followed the advice I used to give my college friends when they drank too much and I was taking care of them all night, “Drink this cup of water, even if you throw it all up again. It’s better it was in you for a little bit than never at all.”

I also want to stressed that my fluid retention was minor and I had no other symptoms. If you are gaining weight quickly without a reasonable explanation, have swelling of the limps or face, difficulty breathing, or fainting often, you may have a serious medical condition like Preeclampsia and need medical attention right away.

Here are some links about the stuff I mentioned in the post:

Drink Enough Water, from WebMD, talks about the importance of drinking enough water all the time, not during pregnancy.

Drink Enough Water During Pregnancy, from What to Expect, explains why water is especially important while pregnant.

Symptoms of Fluid Retention, a link from Dr. Oz, explains what to look for if you think you are retaining fluid.

How to Minimize Water-Retention and Swelling, from Bable, things you can do during pregnancy to minimize fluid retention.

Lastly, info on Preeclampsia.

Babies Names And Heritages

When I was 11 weeks, I had an appointment with a counselor at my OB/GYN clinic. It’s a part of their complete care program, just to make sure you are ready/are getting ready emotionally and physically for the baby. She asked me basic questions about my husband and myself. Nothing seemed odd until she asked for the babies primary ethnicity. I told her there this no dominant one, just American I guess. She looked at me funny so  I explained. I am all white—Polish, Italian, French Canadian, and a little German. And my husband is half Fijian-Indian and half Hispanic, with a little Caribbean-Indian and Native American. So she checked every box but African-American. And before she could say anything I said, “We already know we made an American mutt.” She just laughed.

When it came time to pick names for our baby, we wanted to incorporated both our heritages in there somehow. I wanted to get relatives names in if possible. My dad did not allow any relatives’ names for my brother’s or my first name. He said that everyone deserves the right to be their own identity and not have to live up to someone else’s name. I think that argument is only valid if you force your child to grow up exactly where you did and live the same life you did. My dad knew that we were going to live completely lives in completely places than him and my mom, so it was never going to be a problem. I know that my son will have a completely different life than my husband or me, so I am not worried about him needing to live up to something either.

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To honor both our heritages and families, we decided to name our son Jack-Avinash Miguel.

I picked a girl’s name years ago, Terrie, after my amazing aunt who passed away 8 years ago. I told Michael that it was really important to me, as a way for my mom and I heal from her passing. He respected my wishes and agreed. As much as I dream of having a sweet little girl one day, I always wanted a boy first. I told Michael he could have final say on a boy’s name to be fair. So I told him all the names I liked, all of which he rejected. He said I was picking “too white” names. I reminded the baby is half white….but I understood his point. He wants his son’s name to reflect something special to him too. So I pulled up babynames.com and started reading off names.

After about an hour of him saying no to everything and me about to lose my temper, I saw the name Jack. Jack is the male version of my mom’s name, so I would honor my family. And Michael always speaks fondly of his dad’s best friend Jack who passed away several years ago. So I suggested Jack and he finally said yes!

As for the hyphen name thing, it’s something my in-laws started. My husband’s hyphen name is also Avinash (Hindi for indestructible) and his middle name is his dad’s name. I liked this idea, so we decided to continue the tradition. We both love the name Avinash so decided to use that as Jack’s hyphen name. Then obvious middle name was Michael (which also happens to be my Dad’s name). But we decided to let him be his own Michael and get his Hispanic heritage in by doing Miguel.

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We know that is a long and complicated name, but we put a lot of thought and love into it. Hopefully one day he will understand and respect all the names we chose for him. We had some people try to convince us to change one or more of the names, but at the end of the day we know he is our baby. If you and your partner settle on a name, that is all that matters. When that baby is born, everyone will be so in love with him or her they wont even care if you call them Mud. There is the trend of not revealing the name until the baby is born, that way no one can disrespect your choice or taint your opinion of a name you love. I don’t think it’s a bad idea actually. What you chose for your baby is your own business, so there is no need to involve anyone else really. We told everyone the name because honestly, I am pretty stubborn and no one can tell me what to do 🙂 If I want to name my baby Mud, you better believe I would.

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I think it’s fascinating why people are named the thing they are. I am named after Elizabeth Montgomery’s character on Bewitched. My husband was name after Saint Michael. My grandpa and all his brothers have the initials RJB. All my paternal cousins have family names or variations of them. I know someone named after a Vietnamese comic book character their dad liked. My friend even named her daughter Diamonte, because she is her precious gem. It takes all kinds to make the world go round.

Check out the Most Popular Baby names for 2013 according to Babynames.com, nothing crazy but some of the spellings are a bit of stretch for me (Rhys/Reece?)

Or try these Unusual (But Cool) Boy Names, not sure how I feel about Lockwood…

And these 3 Hot Trends in Baby Names, the Valedictorian of the class of 2032 could be Charlie and her quarterback boyfriend is Wolfgang!

If you have a interesting story behind your name or a crazy heritage, let me know in the comments. I really do find it all fascinating!

Things That Helped my Morning Sickness

I was not prepared for my horrible morning sickness. It struck hard around 5 and a half weeks. My mom told me she had horrible morning sickness with both my brother and I, but I didn’t think it could be that bad. I tried to explain it to my husband one day, the best analogy I could come up with a horrible hangover that wont go away.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I had some symptom, a bad headache and a little bit of an upset stomach. We had eaten out several times that weekend, so I assumed I had mild food poisoning or something. Neither the headache or the stomach issues were that bad. Well, long story short, about week later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. After the initial shock, I thought to myself  Hey, this isn’t that bad. Just a headache and extra time in the bathroom…I can totally do this!

….Oh how wrong I was. It started to get worse slowly. A few days after the test, I didn’t like the smell of Michael’s dinner one night and made him sit on the other side of the room to eat it. Then one morning I woke up with a even worse headache. Then that night I woke up feeling like the room was spinning and I was going to be sick. The the next day I woke up feeling so sick I couldn’t eat until noon. Then the next day I couldn’t eat until dinner. Then the next day I couldn’t eat anything. Then the vomiting started…most of the time I just threw up in the morning, but the queasy feeling lasted all day. I was also getting dehydrated, giving me a worse headache and the shakes. At about 7 weeks I said enough and tried to figure out ways to cope.

Here is a list of things that helped me:

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  • Laying Down: Every time I stood up, I instantly got dizzy and felt like I was either going to faint or puke. I kept trying to do stuff around the house, but would just end up crying next to the toilet. Eventually I realized if I just laid down, I felt a lot better. Eventually sometime in the afternoon my nausea subsided and I could at least make Michael dinner and finish the laundry. I eventually found out if I ate laying down, I could actually keep it down.
  • Ginger Candy: My mom bought me a box of Reed’s Ginger Candy. I kept it next to my bed and popped one in my mouth right when I woke up. I have to admit, they are pretty strong and even sting a little to swallow. But they really do work wonders. They fix that hunger-over-like feeling you have when you are not throwing up.
  • Ritz Crackers: After the ginger candy, while still in bed, I would eat a few crackers. I tried these fancy organic multigrain ones, but they didn’t work. I needed plain Ritz Crackers. The simple taste wont set off your nausea, unlike the multigrain. They are easy to digest. And they have salt to balance your electrolytes. Plus, grains absorb liquid and acid in your stomach, giving it less stuff to irritate it.
  • Preggie Pops: My mom also bought me Preggie Pops. These things are a godsend! They are made from sugars and essential oils–and taste great! . Just pop one in and suck all nausea away. However, at least for me, the effects only lasted as long as I was sucking on one. So I only used them when I absolutely need to be out and about for awhile. I would have not gotten through wedding dress shopping if it wasn’t for these pops.
  • Carbs: So I know only eating carbs is not healthy at all, but when you are that sick, you have to eat whatever sounds good. I could usually get down bread (even multigrain) and butter. Plain ramen noodles (no flavor packet or soy sauce) went alright too. I tried really hard to eat anything, because having an empty stomach makes nausea way worse. I was usually fine by dinner time if I could munch a little something during the day. But I still was careful and only ate simple things.
  • Coke: I am not a big soda drinker. The stuff is pretty much just liquid fat waiting to give you a heat attack or diabetes. I rarely ever drink it normally. But for me, it the only thing that will really settle my stomach. My mom would give us a little bit as kids if we were like projectile vomiting—and it worked every time. And when I am hungover, it’s the first and only thing I ask for. There are tons of reasons why people think coke works, but nothing has really be proven yet. My guess the sugar gives you energy, the potassium/sodium electrolytes re-energizer you, and that liquid hydrates you. All that being said, soda still has no nutritional value and really is just liquid fat. So I only used soda a last resort on the days I was really sick and had things to do. After the coke settle my stomach, I usually drank a few glasses of water to make up for it
  • Sleeping: I noticed pretty quickly the days that I had a good nights sleep, I could handle my nausea a lot better. I already have insomnia issues, so adding nausea and stress did not help.
  • Benadryl: Luckily my doctor said I could Benadryl as need to help me sleep and curb my nausea. And it worked! See My First Trimester post.
  • Small Meals: Eating a few bites at a time went over a lot better than trying to eat 3 meals a day. Like I said, by dinner time I was usually okay, but I still tried to keep it small.

My First Frimester

I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with a boy (check out my Gender Reveal Cake post on my other blog).  I didn’t start this blog earlier because, well, mainly I didn’t think of it sooner.

22 weeks and 5 days. Ignore my laundry on the floor…

Michael and I are planning on having another baby in a few years, and I was thinking of all the thing I don’t want to forget for next time. So I thought would write it down for myself and other people to learn from. I hope it can helps anyone who has a rough time in their first trimester like I did.

I am going to be honest, I hate being pregnant so far. Don’t get me wrong, I am very very grateful to be pregnant and already love my baby very much. But the process of making him sucks. Looking back now there are things I wish I did differently to make it easier in my first trimester:

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  • More prepared: My pregnancy was a surprise (and there is no shame in admitting that, it’s happen for centuries and it does not make it any less important to us), so I was not prepared for anything. I wish I had ginger tea, preggie pops, and coke (I know not healthy, I’ll explain later) stock piled in my house from the start. And before I found out I was pregnant, I originally thought I had a stomach bug or food poisoning so I had not been eating much. So when morning sickness really hit, I was kind of weak and not prepared to eat anything—which any pregnant women can tell you makes morning sickness worse. However, there is not much I could have done about this one (short of building a time machine and going into the past to tell myself). I also don’t think I could have avoided horrible morning sickness, it seems to run in my family.
  • Stay Calm: Do you know what sucks more than losing your job in a shady way for no reason? To lose your job the day after you find out you’re pregnant. I was so worried about everything the for the first few weeks that I stressed myself out.  How can I pay all my bills? Should I sell my brand new car? How will we eat? How will we pay rent? Then all the horrible things popped in my head. What if we are horrible parents? What if we are so broke they take the baby away from us? What is something is wrong with the baby, how will pay for care? What is something happens to me and I need care? What if I lose the baby? What if something happens to Michael? In the end, do you know what good all that worrying did? Nothing. I cried on the couch for days and made myself a nervous wreck for nothing. Everything has worked out very well so far. It was not easy for awhile, but I am so happy right now that I almost can’t believe it. I really think that emotions play a role in morning sickness too. Once I started to calm down, I started to feel better. And I think losing my job was the universe’s way of giving me a break. I could not have worked those 10 weeks or so, and would have just stressed myself out trying.
  • It’s okay to be sick: I was convinced that I need to be one of those women who never has morning sickness and gets everything done like Wonder Woman. I know I just said I needed those 10 weeks of rest, but I did not comprehend that at the time. I would beat myself up for not going to the grocery store or doing the laundry. As I was sitting next to the toilet waiting to puke again, I would start crying thinking of Michael hard at work earning money and I wasn’t even going to make him dinner. And on top of it he was being soooo sweet and taking care of me—and all the household chores! He would tell me he doesn’t mind and understand that I don’t feel good. That just made me feel worse. Now I look back and realize I was doing a very important job, making a baby! The first trimester is when your baby goes from a dot to mini human—and that is a lot of work for your body. And, Michael knows I am not a some spoiled princess who expects to be waited on for the rest of her life. I needed help and he loves me enough to give it it to me. Next time, I will give myself a break. I will focus on keeping myself and the baby healthy.
  • Drink More Smoothies: I had a hard time keeping anything but plain bread with butter or ramen noodles down for weeks. That is not a very healthy diet at all. A few times I made smoothies with berries and soy milk, and drank them slowly over the course of the day. They still upset my stomach, but as long I went slowly, I kept them down. I know the obvious answer is I should have done this everyday, but I felt so awful that forcing something down was the last thing I wanted to do. Plus I didn’t have a blender at the time, just an old school food processor that is a pain to clean. A few days ago we bought a NutriBullet and I am in love. Michael offered to buy me one months ago and I don’t know why I ever hesitated. It’s quick and easy to clean. Plus, they resealable, so even if the smoothie makes me sick, I could freeze it for later. I drink a smoothie almost every morning now, and will make myself next time I am in the my first trimester.

And there are somethings I did right and I will do next time around too:

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  • Help from Mom: Even before I told my mom I was pregnant, she knew something was up and throwing out dates for her to fly down. Once I told her the news, she pretty much was on the next flight here (she is the definition of someone dying to be grandma). She took care of me and helped around the house. I am still very grateful for her coming, it was a huge help. Plus nothing helps you feel better like a hug from your mom.
  • Acupuncture: I had acupuncture for the first time while I was in Hawaii to treat insomnia and recover from my car accident. I loved it (major shout out to Kim, you are seriously an amazing healer, check her out if you are on the Big Island). I found a deal on Groupon for 3 sessions at a place in Campbell and decided to give it a dry for my morning sickness. I did not really like the acupuncturist, but the sessions did help. I went from the room spinning and wanting to throw up every time I stood to just an upset stomach and headache when I walked around too much. It wasn’t a 100% improvement, but when you are that sick, anything is better.
  • Benadryl: When you have already existing insomnia and add nausea, you are guaranteed to not get any sleep. I had all day to take a nap and recover, but I kept Michael up too. The doctor said I could take 1-2 Benadryl as need to help me sleep and reduce morning sickness. At first I was reluctant to take any medication, but I realized it wasn’t doing me or the baby any good to be exhausted and sick all the time. So I tried some Benadryl a few nights a week and it was amazing! I slept and my stomach calmed down. I still needed to lay down for bit and munch on crackers before I could really start my day, but it was an improvement for sure.
  • Not reading ahead:  I knew a bit about pregnancy and babies already. I love kids and have babysat for years. I also was thinking of becoming a neonatal nurse for awhile too. But somehow I got this crazy idea that it would be a great to get all the baby/pregnancy books and be totally informed right away. It started to skim through them, and got slightly overwhelmed. So I decided to return them and just look on sites like babycenter.com week by week or just for that trimester. My mom bought me The Everything Vegan Pregnancy Book, which I read as needed. Why make yourself worry each time something new happens? Or the books says something should happen and doesn’t? Plus who really needs to read about episiotomies when you still your baby is still the size of blueberry?

There are two things I am still not sure were the best idea, but would not go back and change them:

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  • First Trimester Marriage: I am not saying I regret marrying Michael. Not at all. I fell in love with him on our first date and knew he was the one about a month later. I wake up every morning grateful to have such an amazing man next to me. I am saying that is was very stressful planning a wedding when I was feeling like death. We had a trip to Vegas booked for Michael’s birthday anyways, so decided just getting married while we were there was easier. My mom was all excited and want to start booking everything right away. Did you pick a place? What about a dress? Upgrade your room to a suite? Where are you going for dinner? What show do you want to see? All that is a lot to deal with when you can’t even keep water down and are already stressed. However, I am not sure I would have wanted to wait until I felt better. I liked not needing a maternity dress. I got the dress of my dreams (curve hugging trumpet with a sweetheart neckline and pearl beading). I liked that I could still run around The Strip in cute little mini dresses and feel like a sexy new bride. Also, I was not showing so I didn’t get the “Why is she even here? Shouldn’t she be home resting? I bet she is drunk, too!” judgmental looks. I loved my wedding and love my husband, so I cannot complain. And maybe it’s just my warped sense of humor, but it’s kind of funny to say I had a shotgun wedding in Vegas!
  • The Belly Band: Like most women, I went through that “bloated but not really showing” phase. My normal pants just barely didn’t fit, but I wasn’t big enough for maternity pants. So I bought a Belly Band. I read the reviews first, and the most common complaint was that it unravels if you wash it a lot, especially in hot water. I decided it would be fine to just wash it as need with Michael’s delicate bike clothes and never dry it. I have to say it did the basic job. I could wear my normal pants unbuttoned and it did not look weird. Just looked like I had a tank top on underneath. However, the band does not stay up that well, which annoyed me. It didn’t fall directly off or expose my unbuttoned pants. But I wanted it to stay around my lower belly, over my button, and go down a half inch or so. It would slide a little and cover only two of the three areas I wanted. It was only $20 so it was not a giant waste of money, so meh.

Will Your Baby Be Vegan?

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I fell in love with an amazing man—who loves meat. I do cook him meat, dairy, and eggs. Why would a vegan do such a thing? Well, because I love him and want him to be happy. And he doesn’t get meat every day, and he is a good sport about it. He eats vegans things quite often. What person would ever turn down a delicious home cooked meal in general?

So the most common question I have been asked since I announced I was pregnant is “Will the baby be raised vegan or not vegan?” The answer is both I guess. I want to respect Michael’s wishes, and he wants to respect mine. So we made the compromise to let the baby try all kinds of healthy foods, and when he’s old enough, he can decided for himself…..but let’s be honest here. I am the one who will be taking care of him most of the time (my choice), so he is going to end up eating a lot more vegan food.

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And for the most part, babies are meant to be vegan from the start. Their digestive systems are not ready for complex things right away. Hence why babies nurse first , then try cereals and veggies, then move on to other proteins and fats. As long as you ensure that your baby gets enough fats, protein, and vitamins from the plant-based diet, there is nothing wrong with it. Check out the post from my other blog about Vegan Myth Busting, it explains how you can have a balance diet as a vegan.

Then there is the annoying question…. usually from someone who is a major meat eater. The kind of person who feels the need to rub it everyone’s face and insult your lifestyle choice despite the fact you never said anything about it. “Are you going to breastfeed? That’s milk and milk isn’t vegan!!!”
First of all, there is a difference between cow’s milk and human milk. We are designed to drink human milk! It’s the whole reason we are mammals! We have boobs for a reason. We produce milk when we have children for a reason. I am willingly giving my milk to my baby, no one is forcing me. And when it dries up, he will eat solid food.
That ain’t natural…source

People are not really meant to drink cow’s milk. Yes, over time and out of necessity our ancestors began to consume it as a means of survival. That was their choice, and a very understandable one. But we have better nutrition and access to food now, we now have the ability to consume whatever we want. And if cow’s milk is not really meant for us, I have the choice to not drink it. Plus, cows are not willingly giving us their milk. They are pumped full of hormones and forced to be milked even though they don’t have calves (and will most likely never be pregnant). That’s not natural. Me making my own milk for my child is extremely natural.

*By the way, I am not judging women who can’t or chose not the breastfeed. I understand everyone has different circumstances, I am just stating what I believe work for me.

Tofu and Broccoli

I need to say a giant apology for not posting for over a month. I promise I have very good excuse. At the beginning of August I found out I am pregnant! And then a few days later Michael proposed! And we are getting married next weekend in Las Vegas! Told you I had a good excuse.

I am so happy and excited to marry the man I love and start a family with him. But this past month has not been easy. I lost my job, which is probably for the best. It was not a good fit for me and I am not sure how much longer I could have worked due to horrible morning sickness. And do you know how much fun planning a wedding is when you are beyond exhausted all the time? Not at all.  I am so grateful for all love and support from my family and friends. Especially my mom, I could not do this all without you!

I will talk more wedding and baby stuff in later posts…

So, remember that morning sickness I mentioned? Yeah, that phrase is a total misnomer. I have felt nauseous all day and night. Not fun.  Even when I am hungry, my stomach magically cannot hold much food at once. And foods I once loved, I cannot even stand the thought of now. So, as you can imagine I have not done too much cooking lately. However, yesterday I was actually hungry for lunch. So I made up this tasty dish.

I used broccolini, but feel free to us broccoli if you cannot find it. Broccolini is hybrid of broccoli and Chinese broccoli, giving it longer stalks and slightly sweeter flavor. It is high in vitamin C, vitamin A, calcium, folate and iron. I love broccolini because the stalks get tender and have an almost asparagus-like flavor.

This recipe makes two servings.

Tofu and Broccoli 
1 block of extra firm tofu, frozen and drained, then cubed
1 tbs soy sauce
1 tbs rice wine vinegar
1 tps red pepper flakes
1 tps grated ginger
Olive oil
1/2 small white onion, cut into thin strips
1 clove of garlic
1 small head of broccolini (broccoli is fine too), cut into bit-sized pieces
Teriyaki sauce

Check out my previous post about how to freeze and drain tofu.

Cube the tofu and add to small bowl.

Add the soy sauce, vinegar, red pepper flakes, and ginger. Toss together to coat the tofu and let it marinade for at least one hour.

Once the tofu is ready,  heat some olive oil in a skillet over medium heat.

Add the chopped onions and cook until soften.

Add the garlic, broccolini pieces, and the tofu with the marinade. Cook until the broccolini is softened and the tofu is slightly golden.

Top with some teriyaki sauce before serving.

I had this over brown rice, but noodles would be delicious too. Simple and high in vitamin C, folate, and iron—all the things a growing baby (and mommy) need.