Tag: advice

Things Saving My Sanity With a Newborn

Overall, I lucked out with Jack. He really isn’t that fussy of a baby. He usually only cries when something is wrong, like he needs to be fed or is tired. But, he has his moments. And let me tell you, this kid has a set of lungs on him. There is nothing more taxing on your soul than hearing your baby scream when you are already exhausted. By 3 weeks old we figured out a few things that will calm Jack quickly and keep him happy pretty. So here is a list of the things saving my sanity:
  • Swaddle Sacks: The first night at the hospital Jack was either nursing or screaming because he wanted to nurse. Michael and I were trying everything to get him to sleep more than 10 minutes. Then a nurse came in to take him for his hearing test around midnight. When she brought him back, he was all swaddled and happy. He slept for an hour until he was hungry again.  I unswaddled him, feed him, and he got all fussy again. Then the nurse came in to check his vitals and swaddled him. He slept for 2 hours. Then another feeding followed by fussiness. Then another check and nurse reswaddling, followed by 2 more hours of sleep. Thus, we quickly caught on he liked to be swaddled. But as best as we tried, we couldn’t get him tight enough and he kept breaking free (which just made him madder). The first night at home, we just couldn’t keep him asleep for more than 30 minutes and were exhausted. Then I remembered there was a swaddle sack in the bag of hand-me-downs my friend gave us. I put him in it, rocked him until he fell asleep. And to my delight he slept for 3 hours! The next day we ordered 2 Summer Infant SwaddleMe’s from Amazon. We swaddle him every night for bed, most naps, and when he is insanely fussy. He sleeps in 3-5 hours stretches at night and takes 2 or 3 good naps every day. So worth the money.
  • Boba Wrap: Several of my friends told me to wear my baby. After Jack’s first few days at home and him constantly wanting to be in my arms, I decided it was worth a shot. I decided on the Boba Wrap because of the good reviews and the price. I watched the videos on Youtube on how to put it on and wear your newborn thought it looked easy enough, so I ordered one off of Amazon. When it came, I was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of fabric and by the stretchiness. I am petite and I was worried I would not be able to get it tight enough to support him properly. But I went for it anyways. I spent a good 15 minutes messing with it.  Once it  felt right, I put him in and he was so happy! We went on a walk and he loved being wrapped. Went right to sleep. Whenever he gets too fussy now, I just put him in it and go for a walk or walk around the house. All hands free! However, there are two issues I had with it. First, it can sag. You need to tie it at your actual waist not, where you wear your pants (or atleast I need to). And you need to pull it pretty tight. But once I got the hang of it there was no more issues. Second, it gets hot. Your baby is wrapped in three layers of pretty thick fabric right up against your body. You two may get a little toasty in the summer. I recommend you wear a light tank top and put the baby in just a diaper when its warm.
  • Soothie Pacifier: Jack is a sucker (and a cute one at that!). His favorite place is attached to my boobs. At first I didn’t mind because I knew he was cluster feeding and growing. But when he wasn’t in a growth spurt, he still loved my boobs and it began to hurt after awhile. I tried every pacifier we had but he would spit it out after a few minutes and cry. Then someone on the April 2014 Birth Club on Babycenter mentioned Soothies. They are the kind used in hospitals. They look and feel more like nipples. I ran out the Target one day when Michael got home from work and bought a two-pack. Jack took it instantly. They work great! He gets to suck and my nipples are spared. However, these only piss him off if he is actually hungry. So I need to make sure he is fully fed before I give him one. Then he will happily suck away—and sometimes even suck himself to sleep.
  • Lavender Oil:  Lavender is known for it’s calming qualities. Jack was not a fan of baths at first so I wanted to do something to make them more enjoyable. I didn’t want to use the popular Johnson and Johnson Lavender products. So I got a bottle of organic lavender oil and added a few drops to his bath. The minute we set him in, he calmed down. Now he loves baths (even when he’s screaming his head off prior). And during the day if he gets too fussy and won’t go down for a nap, I dab a drop on the oil on his chest. He calms down most of the time, it’s almost like magic! But I need to stress that lavender oil can be a powerful relaxant and you really only need a few drops. Too much can affect your baby’s nervous system (see side effects here). Also, if your baby has sensitive skin, I would suggest not applying it directly to their skin. Instead add a few drops to a carrier oil (like coconut or olive oil) and apply that to their skin.
  • Relaxation Melodies App: I’ve used this to help myself fall asleep for years. There’s a wide variety of sounds you can use for white noise. I like the combination of ocean waves and rain. It reminds of my two favorite places, Oregon (the rain) and Hawaii (the ocean). Babies like white noise because they spent 9 months inside you listening to sound of your heartbeat and other bodily noises. I thought of using this app one day when Jack was 2 weeks old and having a hard time falling asleep. So I put the sounds on and he calmed down instantly. I put it on  almost every time I put him to sleep now or when he gets too fussy. He screams halfway through our morning walks on occasion. The second I put on “his music” he goes right to sleep. This app is free and totally worth the download.

Cluster Feeding and Comfort Nursing: What New Moms Need To Know About Breastfeeding

The minute I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. It’s “free”, helps you lose weight, and provides the best nutrition. Plus it’s great bonding time with your baby. Why wouldn’t I do it? It seemed like a no brainer!

I took two breastfeeding classes, and some of the other child care classes went over it too. They talked about the various holding positions and how to get the baby to latch on properly. And how often to feed them so they gain weight. Seemed pretty basic and easy to follow. Boy was I wrong…

My mom told me that it is harder than you think. She said her mom helped her when she really struggled with it, so I knew it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. I knew your nipples will be sore and you may have painful blocked ducts. Also that your uterus contracts when you nurse and you may leak milk when it’s close to feeding time. And that you need to be near your baby most of the time to feed on demand. But all that seemed reasonable, I wasn’t too scared.

Then the time came. Jack was born and he started rooting for my nipple the minute they put him on my chest. The nurse sat me up and told me offer him my breast. Jack took it instantly—and OH MY GOD DID IT HURT!! But I looked at him happily sucking away and just tried to ignore it. Later when he came back from the nursery, I tried to feed him again and he wouldn’t latch. I started to feel overwhelmed—not to mention that was I exhausted too. My mom helped me get him on but it still really hurt (he had already bruised my nipple).

My nurse called the lactation consultant and she really helped. Jack wasn’t latching on wide enough and I needed to wake him up more so he eat enough before falling asleep. I thought it was all good after that. Wrong. That night he cried every hour to be fed and I didn’t know what to do. The nurse came in and explain it was all normal, and showed me how to massage my boob while nursing to get more out. The feedings in the hospital went a lot better after that.

Then once I got him home he cried to be fed all the time, which once again totally overwhelmed me and I started to doubt myself. I am not making enough milk? Is there something wrong with my milk or my breasts? Is he still not latching right again? Maybe I should just give him formula, maybe it will make him happier?

Then I turned to the internet, I needed more information. If I was doing something wrong I needed to find out how to fix it. To my surprise, I was actually doing things right. Turns out breastfeeding is actually that hard in the beginning. But I found there were a few things I could do to make it easier.

So the following list is things I found out the hard way. But I wish they advertised these better to new moms so they don’t get overwhelmed and give up breastfeeding.

  • It will hurt for the first few weeks. Seriously, it will hurt a lot. A combination of sore/burning/stinging/throbbing. If your baby bruises your nipples like Jack did to me, it will be even worse. And for the first few weeks your uterus will contract as you nurse, it’s like mini labor all over again. Not mention you are exhausted and hormonal, making all the pain a hundred times worse. You may cry as you nurse. It’s okay, let it out.
  • But the pain does go away. I promise. I am 3.5 weeks postpartum now and it just barely stings when he latches and throbs a little bit after. It may piss you off when people tell you to just nurse through the pain, but it seriously works. The more you nurse, the more your nipples toughen up and begin to heal. As you are crying through the pain, look at your sweet angel’s face and remember why it’s worth it.
  • Make sure the is latch correct. Jack bruised my nipples because I let him latch incorrectly the first time and he kept doing it. The lactation consultant showed me to open his mouth wide, put my nipple in bottom first, and gently push his head so his mouth takes in most of the areola. Once I had him on correctly, it was a million times better and I didn’t dread feeding him. Check out this link for more info on the proper latch.
  • Soothe your nipple in between feedings. Put a heating pad on before you nurse if possible. It opens up the ducts so the milk will flow easier and your baby won’t have to suck as hard. After you nurse, put lanolin on your nipples. It’s not vegan, but it’s all natural and works very well. I tried coconut oil but it wasn’t the same. This is one time I am fine with a non-vegan product because I know it is for the okay for my son. Also, if your nipples are still throbbing, put an ice pack on.
  • You won’t have much milk you at first. But you don’t need that much at first.You’ve probably been told that your baby’s stomach is small and so you don’t need a lot of milk at first. So don’t be concerned if when you try to express milk from your breast only a few drops comes out.  It’s totally normal (Ameda)
  • But your supply will increase.  As your baby gets bigger, so will their little stomach. And your body will up your supply with the increasing demand. Keep nursing (despite the pain) and it will stimulate your body to make more (Ameda)
The next two are the most important things I wish someone told me beforehand. But first you need to understand growth spurts. Your baby will go growth major growth spurts several times during their first year of life. During this time they will need to eat more, probably want more snuggles, and sleep more. The first few will be around 3 days, the next around 7-10 days, then 2-3 weeks, and 4-6 weeks. These first few ones will be a major struggle since you still exhausted and recovering from birth.
  • Cluster feeding. I thought something was wrong with my milk supply at the hospital. However, when I pumped between feedings when I got home, I discovered I was making plenty. I didn’t understand why Jack was eating all the time. Then I Googled it and cluster feeding came up instantly. When your baby is going through a growth spurt, your baby may need to eat more frequently, like every hour instead of every 2-3 hours. And they may want to nurse for a longer period of time. Then suddenly they will sleep for longer than normal, like 4-5 hours instead of 2-3 hours. Then wake up and want to start the cluster feeding/sleep cycle all over again. This is all normal—though it will drive you mad. You will feel like you are nursing back-to-back for hours. Your nipples will be throbbing and all you can think about is a nap. Then suddenly the baby is out in a milk coma and stays asleep for hours. As much as you enjoyed your much needed 4 hours nap, now you are all worried something is wrong. I kept thinking, “Why did he sleep so long? Is he okay?”  Then suddenly they are wide-awake and eating their hand because they are so hungry! Now you feel like a horrible mom for letting them sleep so long between feedings. Then the back-to-back feeding starts all over again, stressing you out more. Like I said, it all sucks, but it’s normal. (Sources: Kelly Mom, La Leche)
  • Comfort nursing. I have no problem rocking Jack to sleep and comforting him whenever he wakes up. But I wanted him to get used to falling asleep on his own (trying to avoid co-sleeping because I have insomnia issues and it’s not safe for him to be in our bed if I take a sleep aid on occasion). But sometimes he would be so insanely fussing when I tried to put him to sleep. The only way I could calm him was by nursing him until he fell asleep. Sometimes this can takes 30 minutes. He doesn’t actively suck the whole time, maybe only 10-15 minutes. Then he just gently sucks as he dozes off to sleep. Then he would gently unlatch himself and be sound asleep on my chest. Only then I could transfer him to his bed without him waking up screaming. I was worried I was starting him on bad habit that would lead to him only sleeping in peoples arms or co-sleeping. So I Googled it again and discovered he was comfort nursing—and that it is normal. And it won’t last forever. I like how they phrased it, do you honestly think your child will need to comfort nurse the rest of his life? That they will never outgrow it and be an independent person? That’s ridiculous to believe, he just needs my nurturing and affection right now. So, if I nurse Jack to sleep right now I will not need to go with him to college to nurse him to sleep. (La Leche, Kelly Mom)
If you are truly struggling, ask for help. Contact a lactation consultant at the hospital where you delivered. Talk to  friend or family member who nursed before. Even your doctor or pediatrician can help. Breastfeeding is hard at first, but you don’t have to suffer alone. And eventually you won’t suffer at all, just keep going!

Check out these links for my information and encouragement:

My Third Trimester

I can’t tell you how happy I am to no longer be pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I am totally in love with my son and so happy to have him. But I hated being pregnant. And I think the third trimester was the worst by far. Now it’s all over so I thought I would share some advice like I did for my First Trimester and Second Trimester.

Things I would do again:

Taking Zantac: My acid reflux kept getting worse and worse. First it was just spicy foods at made it act up. Then it was acidic foods. Then it was the amount of food. Then it was practically every food. Then I started waking up in the middle of the night to throw up acid. I had a prop myself up with pillows and wedges, and only lay on my left side to just be comfortable to even think of falling asleep. I wasn’t losing weight but I hadn’t gained any weight in 2 weeks at my 34 week appointment. So my OB/GYN said I could take Zantac daily. It wasn’t complete relief, more like 50% better. But it was so bad that something was better than nothing. I could eat smaller, bland meals without throwing them up most days.

Walking Everyday: My husband and I work for the same company, so everyday we went for walks on our breaks. Just around the building. It was great exercise and time for us to chat about the baby. Plus neither of us have windows at our desks, so it was nice to have some sunshine. I really think daily walks helped Jack turn downward and get into position for labor.

Prenatal Massage: My mom got me another prenatal massage when I was 37 weeks. Oh boy, did I need one! The way I had to lay at night to be comfortable put a lot of pressure on my hips. And I was starting to have braxton-hicks contractions in my back. It was so nice to just lay on the table for an hour and have all the pain melt away. If I had the money, I would have gotten a massage every week while pregnant.

Going On Leave Early: In my maternity leave post, I mentioned my original plan was to work up until I went into labor. But Jack was measuring big and I was uncomfortable that I decided it was for the best to go on leave earlier. So I set-up to go on leave at 38 weeks, but then at 36 weeks couldn’t take much more. I went on leave at 37 weeks and it was probably the best decision of my whole pregnancy. I rested up a bit and got to focus on preparing for labor—and considering how fast my labor went, this was very helpful. I am so glad I listened to my body.

Things I would do differently:

Eating Out So Much: I don’t mean in terms of calories and weight gain. I had such bad acid reflux I was lucky if got more than just breakfast down most days and barely gained 6 pounds my last trimester. What I do mean is that I was just crabby and nothing sounded good most days. The acid reflux left a weird taste in my mouth that ruined most of my favorite foods. And my stomach was just so squished that I had little room for food. I could fit in a very small meal at best. So I figured since I was so miserable I should just eat whatever I wanted. And I didn’t want to cook so this mean take-out. I still ate pretty healthy so it was not that big of a deal. But it would have been nice to save that money

More Baths: I loved taking a nice Epsom salt bath in the evening to relax and relax my muscles. A little nice music and same candles too.  I wouldn’t have the water that hot and had a glass of ice water with me so I didn’t overheat. I have no idea why I didn’t take one every night! One night I was really crappy and Michael pretty much put me in the tub to calm me down. Next baby, I will just make this a nightly ritual from the start.

More Sleep: Between the hip pain, acid reflux, and the over 8 pound baby squishing all my organs, I got very little sleep. I also started having Braxton-Hicks and cramps at night. A few night a week I would end up on the couch. Not because it was more comfortable, but to let Michael sleep without my tossing and turning. Even on maternity leave I didn’t get much sleep–which totally came back to bite me in the ass for labor. I was so tired that I didn’t have the strength and patiences to do my all natural birth plan. I needed an epidural to calm me down enough to push. I really wish I was more well-rested. I am not sure how I could have accomplished this–besides taking serious sleep medication–but it’s my own regret my whole pregnancy so far.

The thing I am not sure about:

Support Belt: My back started to hurt sitting at my desk at work. So Michael got me a support belt. It did relieve the back pain. And took some of the pressure of my belly off my pelvis and bladder. But it dug into my back side when I sat down. And if I moved from side to side too much, it would unvelcro itself. And was a bit impractical to put over clothes sometimes and look weird under clothes. I ended up only using it when I was going to be walking around a lot, like for our Babymoon. Not sure it was worth the money.

Giants Baseball Baby Shower

This past Saturday, my sister-in-law and best friend threw me a baby shower. They did an amazing job! We split the cost between the three of us, which I really recommend doing so you can get all the stuff you want and no one person is bitter about the financial burden. Plus it is so much easier to plan when you have two other people to bounce ideas of off and ask for help when you need it. We were all also insanely busy, so we did most of the planning via Pintrest and Facebook chat. One of us would pin something, then message the others about how to do it. You can check out the board we made here.

So let’s start from the beginning…

Order your own from Etsy!

We kept with the Giants Baseball theme from the nursery.These are the super cute custom invitations my sister-in-law picked out.

She also included this insert, a request to bring a book instead of a card. Michael and I both value learning and education, and plan of reading him to from the start. Plus the notes written in them are something he can cherish forever.

My sister-in-law’s friend reserved the clubhouse at her place. It was a good sized room with a small kitchen. Lovely park and lawn surrounding it too. Not to mention the weather was GORGEOUS that day—75 and sunny.

The decorations were simple, but very cute. Orange and cream table clothes on sale from Party City. Giants memorabilia and signs that we borrowed from my brother-in-law’s collection. Streamers left over from another party and banners I found on sale from Party City as well.

Kamille made center pieces made from simple vases filled with marbles (both from Dollar Tree) and flowers. Peanuts sprinkled around the vase. Giant’s flag and an orange ribbon to tie it all together. Oh, and the baseball coin banks (Dollar Tree) with Big League Chew gum pops and mini Baby Ruths. Very creative on her part.

For the guest books, Amanda painted black and orange balloons on canvas and sealed it with clear acrylic spray.  The guests sign on the balloons. We plan on hanging it in the nursery. It came out so cute! Also in this picture is the adorable Giants diaper cake that Kamille’s mother-in-law (that’s confusing…) made for me. Thank you Lori, I love the little plushy guy on the top!

For food, we had hot dogs, veggie dogs, nachos with salsa and guacamole, hummus/spinach dip with pita bread, salad, potato salad, and a veggie platter. And no, not everything was vegan, but that okay. As much as I wish the whole world was vegan, it’s just unrealistic. So we made food that people would enjoy and would match the theme. And I was totally happy with my veggie dogs, veggies platter, hummus, and salsa.

There was also a mimosa bar—obviously not for the pregnant lady. We thought it was a way for people to relax without going overboard on booze. There was also tropical punch for those who didn’t want to or couldn’t drink. And yes, that is an picture of my husband when he was 3 in a bow tie. See the cute little napkin bow ties Amanda made to match the picture?

Amanda made these adorable cupcakes in the shape of a baseball. They were a big hit (ha, baseball pun).

And my other sister-in-law brought me a vegan cake! The frosting was so creamy and the cake was just rich enough without going too crazy. I loved it, thank you Kristina!

My prediction for when Jack comes.

We played some shower games too, three of which were printables I got for free off Pinterest. First was Baby Product Price is Right (Michael and I both grew up watching the show with our grandparents so it seemed fitting). People guessed the price of the products (like a pack of diapers) and whoever was closest to the actual total on my master sheet won. Then “Whose Traits Does Mommy Want,” where everyone guesses if want things like my eyes or Michael’s eyes for Jack. Then was Baby Wishes and Predictions, where people wrote their wishes for Jack and made predictions for when he will come. The winner was the person who guessed the closest to my predictions.

Then was the relay race. Each table needed four participants. The first person eats a jar of nasty baby food, the second chugs a bottle of juice, the third swaddles a stuffed animal, and the last recites a nursery rhyme. Everyone was hesitant at the eating/chugging part at first, but the game ended up being hilarious once we got volunteers. The table with the aunties/grandmas totally dominated the game!

Me in the orange stripped dress. 35 weeks, I swear my
bump looks smaller in pictures than it feels to me. 

Then I opened gifts. We got a lot of Giants stuff (of course), some duck themed stuff from my fellow Oregon Ducks, and a lot of other super cute baby clothes and toys. I was truly floored by everyone’s generosity. I didn’t grow up with my extended family round and I moved a bit as a kid so I don’t have many life-long friends. So I appreciate how warm and welcoming Michael’s friends and family have been to me. And of course, I appreciate the generosity from my own friends and family. Jack is one very loved baby already!

All the gifts in the nursery the next day. Several people chipped
 in for the glider, I wanted to cry when I saw it. So sweet. 

I didn’t plan on learning a lesson from my shower, but I did. It’s not money or things that make life wonderful, it’s love. I wanted my guests to share in Michael’s and my love/joy of having a baby—as much as we could afford to do so. And in returned they showed us love that we didn’t even imagine. I plan on teaching this lesson to Jack.

A big thank-you to Amanda and Kamille, you are are amazing Aunties already. And thank-you Griselda for reserving your clubhouse and helping set-up and take down. Thank you to everyone who came, I hope you had as much fun as I did.

I hope this shows you can have the shower of your dreams, without breaking the bank. And helps you understand what true love is too!

Also check out my post of Michael’s Man Shower.

How to throw a "Man Shower"

This past Saturday was my baby shower. Check out the details here. I asked Michael if he wanted to attend my shower or do a co-shower of some sorts. He didn’t seem that big on either idea,  you know the whole “baby showers are for girls” things. But I wanted to do something special for him. He’s has taken such good care of me my  pregnancy so far that he deserved some fun. So I asked if he just wanted low-key party with his boys at our house. He loved that idea—mainly because it meant he could drink beer and eat all the BBQ meats I never make him.

So nothing about this post is particularly vegan. But if you have a vegan man in your life, no reason why you can’t take the general idea and substitute in vegan foods. Like my seitan ribs, some tofurky brats, my German potato salad, and some fresh grilled veggies…man,  that sounds good—can it be summer now? 
His party was at the same time as my shower.We kept the invitations simple—if a women invited to my shower had a guy Michael wanted to invite, we stuck this insert in her formal invitation. Otherwise, he just emailed them a date and time to show up. Men don’t usually need or care about fancy invites, so we didn’t waste money on them. 
Just realized our orange serape matches the theme…
I didn’t put up too many decorations because, once again, men don’t usually notice stuff like that. Just a few  black and orange table clothes, a banner, and a few Giants signs we had already. I didn’t spend too much time on decorating (unlike for my baby shower). Just make it look nice and walk away. No fuss. 
Appetizers when you first walked in the door.
Simple decorations to set the theme. 
I set-up the “appetizers” table before I left for my shower. Veggie platter, nachos, chips, potato salad, chocolate-covered pretzel rods, and baseball cupcakes (rods and cupcakes made by my very talented best friend). 
This was SO cute, even the boys didn’t
want to take a cupcake and ruin it.
I left the meat for Michael to cook. We borrowed our brother-in-law’s smoker to do some ribs. He barbecued some turkey dogs (a lot of his friends are Indian and don’t eat beef), hot links, and buffalo wings. Don’t have pictures of all that because I wasn’t there….and to be honest I don’t like taking picture of meat seeing as I am vegan….
MLB plates were on sale at Party City, couldn’t resist. 
Drinks consisted of tropical punch (one can of passion orange guava juice and a liter of sprite, watered down to taste with ice), and of course beer. 
Giants themed pretzel rods made my my BFF.
The boys just ate, drank, played dominoes, listened to music, and watched sports on TV. Nothing fancy but they all had a good time. After my baby shower was over, some of the women came over to join them. Yeah, that’s right—my baby shower had an after party! Some of the boys ordered the Canelo vs. Angulo fight on pay-per-view, which kept the party going till around 11 PM. Even though I was tired, it was nice to see friends and family enjoying themselves so I didn’t mind. 
So, if your man cringes at the idea of going to your baby shower, I highly suggest throwing him a man shower instead. Yes, you are the one doing all the hard working making the baby, but dads need some love and appreciation too.
Here is my advice on how to throw a successful man shower:
  • Keep it simple. Men don’t usually like complicated or elaborate themes or events without any women around. 
  • Simple decorations set the mood, without your man’s friends thinking his wife is totally controlling him. 
  • Serve good, basic foods with lots of flavor. This is not the time try something from your molecular gastronomy cookbook. Serve some of your husband’s favorites along with some party staples like chips and dip.
  • Don’t make the drinks too complicated either. Some good beers or good spirits should please everyone. 
  • Don’t forget the non-alcoholic drinks like punch, soda, or water as well. Not everyone drinks and you don’t want your guests getting too drunk. 
  • Give them optional games and activities. Men don’t usually want to play shower games like “Whose Features Does Mommy Want For Baby”, but once the food is gone they need something to keep from getting bored. Check to see if there is a game or event on TV they can watch. Set out cards, dominoes, or poker chips they can bust out when they feel competitive after a few drinks.But don’t set a schedule or force them into things. 
  • Let boys be boys. If you come home and see your husband did nothing the way you would have wanted, let it go. It’s his party. As long as he and his friends are having good time, that’s all that matters. 
    • Except when he forgets to make sure your cats are locked in the bedroom beforehand so they don’t get scared and run off during the party. You can give him the evil eye as your search for them high and low, in the dark, 9 months pregnant, and in a pretty dress! 

Babymoon On A Budget

I don’t recall how, but a few years ago I first heard the term babymoon. It’s a vacation you take with your spouse before the baby is born to relax and enjoy each other’s company before the baby is born. Similar to a honeymoon right after a wedding. I loved this idea! Taking time to focus on your love and crazy journey you two are about to embark on.

Map of California’s Gold Country.
source

We dreamed of a vacation back to Hawaii where we met, but sadly that was not going to happen. We need something relatively nearby, so we didn’t need to take off work or be too far away from areas we knew if something happen with my pregnancy. We also needed something inexpensive so we could actually afford to buy diapers later on. But still worthwhile so we didn’t feel like we wasted our money. Then it dawned on me we could do that Gold Country trip we have both been dying to do for over a year now.

Big comfy bed, with my maternity pillow.

With a little research, we found a deal on Expedia for mini suite the Hyatt House in Rancho Cordova. The location of the hotel was nothing special, but the room was very nice. The staff was great and the room was well-cleaned. And it was nice so spread out on a plushy king bed!

The couch was really comfy, I did not want to share it with Michael.

All the places in Gold Country we wanted to see were within a reasonable driving distance too. I have no complaints about this hotel and would stay here again if we did another Gold Country trip.

So much fun to get all dressed up for once! Dress from Old Navy.

We splurged on a fancy dinner one night in Sacramento at Pilothouse and then walked around Old Town afterwards. It was really fun to dress up and feel all pretty for the first time in awhile.

Aren’t we cute? Michael was very happy because
he just ordered his steak dinner.

We kept it simple for food the rest of the trip. Plus, the hotel offered a great breakfast buffet so we saved money on one meal a day. Check out my food blog for reviews on the restaurants.

I don’t know why Michael didn’t zoom
in more, but that’s me and my bump.

On Sunday we checked out Fort Sutter in Sacramento. I loved that this historic site was preserved/restored despite being right in the middle of prime real estate in the city.As we walked into the park, we noticed the State Indian Museum. Michael is a part Native American so he was interested, and I love any kind of history so I was too. The museum is small but has a lot of artifacts and stories. Right when we walked in a docent greeted us and explained some key things. Being from Oregon, I didn’t know much about California Native history so I loved the mini lesson. This little place is worth checking out, only took us an hour to look through. We also found the trickster graphic novel we wanted to buy for our son in the gift shop! I am sorry I don’t have pictures from inside, no photography was allowed.

Inside the Fort, the building in the center
is one of  Sutter’s original structures.

Then we went into Fort Sutter. It is your standard restored pioneer fort. But this fort and John Sutter himself played a very important role in the California Gold Rush. It took us another hour to leisurely stroll through fort.The museum and the fort provided great background information the original Californians and how the Gold Rushers settled once they arrived.

We also stopped by the Capital Building for a little bit, very lovely building and gardens. After that, we had lunch with Michael’s sister who lives just outside Sacramento and ended up hanging out with her the rest of the day. We had planned on going to see stuff around Auburn, but I was tired and decided it was better to take it easy. And we don’t see Kristina that often, so it was nice to catch up.

Lovely drive on Highway 49

The next and last day ended up being kind of busy, but so much fun. We took Highway 49 (which dawned on me afterwards it’s called 49 because of the 1849 Gold Rush….the 49ners…). It is a beautiful drive,  lovely trees and hillsides. Almost made the trip worth it alone.

Our first stop was the Marshal Gold Discovery Park.

My husband likes to point at things…

It’s the site where James Marshall found gold in the American River and started the Gold Rush in 1848.

The spot where Marshal found gold
and change California history

He was building a sawmill for his business partner John Sutter (who needed wood to build Fort Sutter) when he suddenly spotted something flashing in the water.

Replica of Sutter’s sawmill

The park consists of a replica of the original sawmill, some restored/rebuilt homes and business, the visitors center, and easy trails to various important sites (like the site where Marshal found the gold).

And they offer a gold panning lesson with a Park Ranger. It costs an additional $7 fee, but you get to keep anything you find that fits in the vile they give you.

Two big garnets,  a few gold flecks, pyrite,
smokey quartz, and a few other lithic wonders.

We were the only adults without children doing it—and to be honest it probably wasn’t fair for two people with degrees in geology to do it. But it was so much fun! We didn’t find that much gold, but a lot of garnets, pyrite (fool’s gold), and smokey quartz.

It was getting on in the afternoon, but we both still wanted to check out Empire Mine State Historic Park. It was an hour drive, but we didn’t mind since it was so beautiful.

The mining yard with the old equipment on display.

Empire mine was one of the most successful mines in California, operating up until the 1950’s.Though, in the end it had to switch from gold to other rocks and minerals to stay profitable.

This picture doesn’t even come close to showing the depth.

We got there an hour before closing, and sadly missed all the tours. But it was still really cool to see on our own. The main mine shaft was insanely deep and insanely steep from even just the top! It’s crazy to think men went down there everyday to work.

A scale model of the Empire/North Star underground mine system.
People actually worked daily in it!

And it has a huge, elaborate under ground mine system beyond just the entrance shaft.

The mine owner’s cottage, so beautiful.

And the breath-taking cottage and surrounding gardens of mine owner was worth walking my pregnant butt up the hill to see. Shows you the difference even back then between the working and upper class.

Totally how I felt walking down the hall with my swollen legs.
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That concluded our Gold Country Babymoon. We both really enjoyed the whole trip. The only problem was when I woke up Tuesday morning with legs swollen up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from all the walking we did. I had to call in sick to work because I could hardly move. Guess this pregnant lady had too much fun! However, it was nice to spend some quality time together doing activities we both enjoy. It also made us excited to take Jack to these places when he is old enough. I am totally going to dress him in a flannel shirt, jeans, and boots when he pans for gold. Mommy’s little 49ner!

Want to hear the best part? We did all this for around $400! That’s right a mini-suite, a fancy dinner out, and a good amount of site-seeing without breaking the bank.  Here are my tips on how you can have a fun little babymoon (or any vacation) on a budget.

Babymoon Budget Tips:

  • Don’t do things you can’t actually afford. There is a difference between we could afford it (by maxing out our credit card) and actually affording it (we have enough in our savings or we will pay off the credit card easily in a month or two).
  • Do some research. Try Expedia, Orbitz, Travel Zoo & etc. Don’t just settle for the “best price” listed on one site. Shop around and compare.
  • Consider staying just outside the area you are visiting, if practical, where the hotel rates tend to be cheaper. Just make sure you are not so far away that you waste time/ gas getting around.
  • Take advantage of free things at hotels, like continental breakfasts or breakfast buffets (just make sure you pick healthy options).
  • Look up all the things to do in the area, and prioritize what you really want to do. Sadly you can’t do everything so this allows to budget for the things you would be truly sad if you missed.
  • Not everything needs to cost a lot of money. Consider National Parks, State Parks, smaller museums, or even simple walks or hikes.  Sure, take that $100 white-water rafting trip one day, then maybe the next explore a local historic site for only a $5 donation. If you are going to splurge on a nice meal like we did, try to keep your other meals simple and less expensive. Not every meal needs to be over-the-top. There is no shame in ordering a pizza to your room and watching HBO in your pajamas.
  • Research things to do for free along the way to the expensive places too.
  • Factor in all the little stuff. Admission fees, gas cost to get there, and any trinkets you may buy from the gift shops. These can add up to a lot in the end.
  • Bring your own drinks and snacks (very important to have on hand while pregnant), gift shops and little stores charge a lot for even a small bottle of water.
  • Don’t force yourself to stick to a strict schedule if you are tired or not feeling well (especially if it involves walking a lot while pregnant). There is no point in wasting money on gas, admission, food & etc. for something when you will only remember how miserable you were there. You and your baby’s health is more important. And you never know, you may find some totally awesome low-key thing to do that ends up the highlight of your trip.
I would also like to mention the recipe contest I have running on my food blog, All You Eat is Vegetables?. Submit recipes that reflect my future son’s multi-racial heritage, and you would win an Amazon gift certificate!  Check out this link for more details and look out for more contests coming in the future.

Why I Got A Flu Shot And Things to Consider Before You Get One

There is a lot of controversy when it comes to vaccines. I don’t want to get into the whole debate, but I wanted to put some information out there so you can make your own informed decision about how to prevent the flu.

I never got the flu shot until I was 22-years-old and I was a pretty healthy kid. I did get sick a lot in college, but not with the flu. I had a lot of tonsil/sinus/ear infections (and yes all the thee at the same time) starting my sophomore year at Oregon. After 2 years of some horrible infection every 3 months, I had to get my tonsils out. A few months after I got a very bad cold. The doctor told me I most likely got sick again because all these infections slightly damaged my immune system. He recommended I get the flu shot every year from now on.
After that I started to take more preventive measures to avoid getting sick and it worked pretty well for awhile (which proves to me that your body can fight off germs if you give it a chance). Then I started dating my now husband, and the week before finals our last term at UHH, he caught the flu….and gave it to me. I did get the flu shot that year, but that particular shot did not inoculate against the strand we caught. It was a strand effecting Japan and they did not think it was hit America that flu season (or so the urgent care doctor told me)….guess they didn’t realize that Hawaii is not really near the mainland and would get the virus sooner…
The flu was awful. Ten days of us both squished in front the AC in my apartment trying to keep our fevers down. Coughing all over each other and barely being able to move. Needless to say, I NEVER want the flu again. EVER. It was the worse sickness I have had in my life. I honestly think childbirth will be more pleasant.

So, I have been trying to not take unnecessary medications since I found out I was pregnant. I took a few Tylenol (for aches and pains) and Benedryl (for sleep and nausea) on occasion, but only when I really really needed it. When it came time to get the flu shot, I had to think about it. I did not want to get the flu again, especially when there can be a lot more serve complications when pregnant (including death of the mother and fetus). But I did not want to harm my baby and there is some nasty junk in flu shots.

Then one day my mom called me one day to say that Dr. Oz says all pregnant women should get preservative-free flu shots. My response, “Do you have to do everything Dr. Oz tells you?” She told me it’s my choice, but to think of how awful the flu was last time. So I did some research first (I linked the articles I read below). Then I talked to my doctor. She said they did have preservative-free shots and it was safe. I also asked my husband, who agreed I should get one because I get sick so easily.
I was still not convinced I should get it right away since I had got the shot year I got the flu—what if I inject all this stuff into my baby and I still ended up getting very sick? But then I remembered I live on the mainland now, and odds are the shot will be for the correct virus this time. Then I read the CDC’s criteria for who should definitely get the flu shot and realized I fit into 3 of them: pregnant, compromised immune system, and blood disorders (Anemia). I realized, for me personally, the benefits outweighed the risks.

I am glad I got the flu shot now. As of this morning, 15 deaths and 13 hospitalizations in the Bay Area alone for the flu. Three of them in my county. And yeah, I know the media hypes things—I did go to a very good Journalism School and know how the news works—but those are still 15 innocent people who lost their lives.

Like I said, it is your personal choice on whether to get a flu shot or not. You need to do what is right for yourself and your baby. But please make an informed decision above all else.
Articles I read about the flu shot:

Key Facts, Center for Disease Control

Pregnancy and the Flu, March of Dimes
Five Reasons Why I’ll Never Get A Flu Shot, The Organic Prepper (Blogger)

My Second Trimester

I am officially done with my second trimester. I am both happy and sad about it. Happy because it means I am closer to kissing my son sweet little face. Sad because I know that my pregnancy is going to get more uncomfortable now.

Overall my second trimester went well. Just some mild drama and discomfort. I love feeling him kick and move all the time now. And I am in love with my gorgeous, thick beauty queen hair! However I am not a fan of the nightly heartburn. Or the horrible round ligament pain every time I cough, laugh, or stretch. And the thing I hate the most? Having to wear a panty liner all the time now because my bladder leaks slightly. Did I mention that peed myself a few weeks ago when I sneezed? Yeah, that seriously happened.

So I thought I would do a similar post to my First Trimester one. The things I would again and the things I would do differently.

Things I would do again:

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  • Prenatal Massage: My husband bought me a prenatal massage from Massage Envy when I was 22 weeks. I cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am for it. It felt amazing and helped my sore back. And the massage therapists advice helped me lessen my discomfort over all (see my Fluid Retention and Weight Gain post).
  • Support Wedge/ Maternity Pillow: Around 19 weeks, it started to get very uncomfortable to sleep. I was annoyed I couldn’t sleep on my stomach or back. I didn’t like sleeping on my sides. My belly was in the way, my back hurt, painful heartburn, and leg cramps. I woke up crying one night because my back hurt so much. I got very little sleep each night, and all my tossing and turning woke Michael up. I bought a maternity pillow first. I could hug it and place it between my knees, which supported my belly and lower back. But I was still uncomfortable, I want to be propped up more to alleviate heartburn and relax my upper back. I wanted a big wedge pillow, but the ones we could find were insanely expensive. Michael brought me to two smaller ones instead. They helped tremendously. With all these pillows, I am now supported and cradled all around.
  • Not Giving in to Insane Cravings: I have been lucky so far with no really ridiculously cravings (my mom told me she craved raw zucchini with peanut butter, ick). And I have not wanted to eat an insane quantity of food either really (and my stomach feels so squished I am not sure I could). I do get cravings for some pretty unhealthy foods though, mainly carbs. I indulge a little bit, but don’t over do it. I wanted a big burger Red Robin a few weeks ago. I got my fave burger with a vegan Boca patty, no cheese, no mayo and side salad instead. It was very nice, but responsible treat. I do have one craving I will not indulge in no matter what: a Baskin Robins ice cream cake. I don’t even care which flavor, I just keep thinking of one in general. And I do not want just one slice—I want the whole thing. It’s not vegan or even remotely healthy, so it is not happening. There is a difference between a nice treat and insanity.
  • Stretch Mark Cream:  I refuse to have insane stretch marks. I know some are inevitable, but I do not want to be one of those women with the permanent, deep purple marks all over their stomach. I slather myself daily—and I mean slather—in hopes of preventing them. I had few existing ones that got a little more defined, but nothing else so far. I switch between two products, Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Lotion and Bio-Oil. I try to massage it in well all over my belly, sides, boobs, thighs, and butt. It’s nice bonding time with my son, plus I smell great and feel very soft after. Michael says I smell like a doughnut after the Cocoa Butter.
Things I would do differently:

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  • Drink More Water All Along: If you didn’t check out my Fluid Retention and Weight Gain post yet, please do. Drinking more water really helped me not only feel more comfortable, but also helped me control my weight gain. I know the recommended 8-12 glass a day during pregnancy seems like a lot, but trust me it is worth it. I wish I did this from the start. Next baby, even if I throw it up, I am going to make myself drink tons of water.
  • Getting My Husband More Informed: You know that blank look men give you ask them a question? The one that says “I have no idea what you are talking about, but I love you so please don’t get mad at me when I say something stupid.” I was getting a lot of those looks in recent weeks. For example, his sister brought up that we should get a car seat that is also a carrier. I said we don’t need one. Michael then says we probably should get one, and my blood instantly boiled. I told him weeks ago that it is better for the baby’s spine and head to be held in your arms or in a sling facing towards you. Later that night I had a hormonal crying fit about it. He comforted me, but didn’t understand why I was upset. He then reminded me that I have cared for babies before, and he hasn’t. He is very excited to be a dad, but has no idea what to do. It isn’t fair for me to get mad at him like that. When I told him about the spine and head stuff, he had no idea why I mentioned it. I calmed down and explained that I do not want the car seat carrier because of the spine and head concerns. He understood and agreed. So from now, when it comes to making any decision,  I make sure he understands the background information and why I feel the way I do about it, then we discuss it openly. I am also looking in to parenting classes or DVD’s for the both of us.
  • Buy Comfy Shoes Sooner: I have a desk job, but I do get up to look for things often. Plus my 10 trips to the bathroom a day. I quickly ditched my heels (though I wear them for special occasions still). My flats do not have enough support for me right now either. And my sneakers do not match my work clothes. I have a comfy pair of no-slip shoes from when I was waitress, but they are open on the top so my feet get cold. I wanted something comfy, warm, and easy to get on (getting harder to bend down easily). Michael bought me a pair of slide-on sneakers from H&M that work great. And my mom got me vegan UGG-like boots for Christmas. Both are great and I wish I had them all along. When your feet hurt, you get grumpy. And being pregnant makes you a little grumpy anyways. No ones like an extra grumpy pregnant lady!
  • Taking a Fiber Supplement Everyday: There is no polite way to discuss this, but it’s vital. You will probably get constipated while pregnant at some point. All the hormones and the baby pushing on your intestines, bound to back you up. And if you develop anemia and have to take iron supplements, it will only get worse. And to quote my best friend about the subject “It’s funny how people get so irritated when they can’t poo.” You feel so bloated and uncomfortable that you just want to punch everyone. I had no issues with it until about 2 weeks after starting my iron pills. After about 3 days of nothing, I began to panic. I ended up trying a whole bunch of different things, but at that point I was so backed up that it took a few more days for it all to start working. I wish I just took a basic fiber supplement all along like Metamucil to keep it from ever becoming a problem.
Things I am not sure about:

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  • Getting the Nursery Together So Soon: It is a relief to know that if Jack came early, that the nursery is mostly together. The walls are painted and the crib is together. We have some clothes, diapers, and other stuff too. I want everything as perfect as can be for him, so I started planning stuff early. But I realized recently that it pretty much just going to sit there empty for 4 more months. And I still have my baby shower coming up, so there is no point in planning on getting much more stuff right now. Plus my mom told me she already bought stuff and so did my sister-in-law. It’s a relief for a first time mom, but not sure it was worth the hassle so soon.
  • Preliminary Birth Plan: I was once thinking about being a neonatal or OB/GYN nurse, so I knew some stuff about giving birth before. I decided to make a preliminary birth plan, just in case I went into labor early. All these options came up on that I did not know about. Do you want to try a birthing stool? Do you want to be constantly monitored or intermittently? Do you want an epidural or to try other pain management techniques. Do you want a mirror to see the baby come out? Do you want your partner to catch the baby? Do you want to tear naturally? Do you want skin-to-skin contact immediately? I had no idea! I began researching all this and more, and sharing the info with Michael. We slowly started to make informed decisions and came up with a preliminary birth plan. But we still need to take the hospital tour and some baby classes, so thing may change. Though it’s nice to know we have a plan, it was overwhelming to work on by ourselves. It might have been nice to have waited till we had the tour and the classes.

Things That Helped my Morning Sickness

I was not prepared for my horrible morning sickness. It struck hard around 5 and a half weeks. My mom told me she had horrible morning sickness with both my brother and I, but I didn’t think it could be that bad. I tried to explain it to my husband one day, the best analogy I could come up with a horrible hangover that wont go away.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I had some symptom, a bad headache and a little bit of an upset stomach. We had eaten out several times that weekend, so I assumed I had mild food poisoning or something. Neither the headache or the stomach issues were that bad. Well, long story short, about week later I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. After the initial shock, I thought to myself  Hey, this isn’t that bad. Just a headache and extra time in the bathroom…I can totally do this!

….Oh how wrong I was. It started to get worse slowly. A few days after the test, I didn’t like the smell of Michael’s dinner one night and made him sit on the other side of the room to eat it. Then one morning I woke up with a even worse headache. Then that night I woke up feeling like the room was spinning and I was going to be sick. The the next day I woke up feeling so sick I couldn’t eat until noon. Then the next day I couldn’t eat until dinner. Then the next day I couldn’t eat anything. Then the vomiting started…most of the time I just threw up in the morning, but the queasy feeling lasted all day. I was also getting dehydrated, giving me a worse headache and the shakes. At about 7 weeks I said enough and tried to figure out ways to cope.

Here is a list of things that helped me:

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  • Laying Down: Every time I stood up, I instantly got dizzy and felt like I was either going to faint or puke. I kept trying to do stuff around the house, but would just end up crying next to the toilet. Eventually I realized if I just laid down, I felt a lot better. Eventually sometime in the afternoon my nausea subsided and I could at least make Michael dinner and finish the laundry. I eventually found out if I ate laying down, I could actually keep it down.
  • Ginger Candy: My mom bought me a box of Reed’s Ginger Candy. I kept it next to my bed and popped one in my mouth right when I woke up. I have to admit, they are pretty strong and even sting a little to swallow. But they really do work wonders. They fix that hunger-over-like feeling you have when you are not throwing up.
  • Ritz Crackers: After the ginger candy, while still in bed, I would eat a few crackers. I tried these fancy organic multigrain ones, but they didn’t work. I needed plain Ritz Crackers. The simple taste wont set off your nausea, unlike the multigrain. They are easy to digest. And they have salt to balance your electrolytes. Plus, grains absorb liquid and acid in your stomach, giving it less stuff to irritate it.
  • Preggie Pops: My mom also bought me Preggie Pops. These things are a godsend! They are made from sugars and essential oils–and taste great! . Just pop one in and suck all nausea away. However, at least for me, the effects only lasted as long as I was sucking on one. So I only used them when I absolutely need to be out and about for awhile. I would have not gotten through wedding dress shopping if it wasn’t for these pops.
  • Carbs: So I know only eating carbs is not healthy at all, but when you are that sick, you have to eat whatever sounds good. I could usually get down bread (even multigrain) and butter. Plain ramen noodles (no flavor packet or soy sauce) went alright too. I tried really hard to eat anything, because having an empty stomach makes nausea way worse. I was usually fine by dinner time if I could munch a little something during the day. But I still was careful and only ate simple things.
  • Coke: I am not a big soda drinker. The stuff is pretty much just liquid fat waiting to give you a heat attack or diabetes. I rarely ever drink it normally. But for me, it the only thing that will really settle my stomach. My mom would give us a little bit as kids if we were like projectile vomiting—and it worked every time. And when I am hungover, it’s the first and only thing I ask for. There are tons of reasons why people think coke works, but nothing has really be proven yet. My guess the sugar gives you energy, the potassium/sodium electrolytes re-energizer you, and that liquid hydrates you. All that being said, soda still has no nutritional value and really is just liquid fat. So I only used soda a last resort on the days I was really sick and had things to do. After the coke settle my stomach, I usually drank a few glasses of water to make up for it
  • Sleeping: I noticed pretty quickly the days that I had a good nights sleep, I could handle my nausea a lot better. I already have insomnia issues, so adding nausea and stress did not help.
  • Benadryl: Luckily my doctor said I could Benadryl as need to help me sleep and curb my nausea. And it worked! See My First Trimester post.
  • Small Meals: Eating a few bites at a time went over a lot better than trying to eat 3 meals a day. Like I said, by dinner time I was usually okay, but I still tried to keep it small.

My First Frimester

I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with a boy (check out my Gender Reveal Cake post on my other blog).  I didn’t start this blog earlier because, well, mainly I didn’t think of it sooner.

22 weeks and 5 days. Ignore my laundry on the floor…

Michael and I are planning on having another baby in a few years, and I was thinking of all the thing I don’t want to forget for next time. So I thought would write it down for myself and other people to learn from. I hope it can helps anyone who has a rough time in their first trimester like I did.

I am going to be honest, I hate being pregnant so far. Don’t get me wrong, I am very very grateful to be pregnant and already love my baby very much. But the process of making him sucks. Looking back now there are things I wish I did differently to make it easier in my first trimester:

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  • More prepared: My pregnancy was a surprise (and there is no shame in admitting that, it’s happen for centuries and it does not make it any less important to us), so I was not prepared for anything. I wish I had ginger tea, preggie pops, and coke (I know not healthy, I’ll explain later) stock piled in my house from the start. And before I found out I was pregnant, I originally thought I had a stomach bug or food poisoning so I had not been eating much. So when morning sickness really hit, I was kind of weak and not prepared to eat anything—which any pregnant women can tell you makes morning sickness worse. However, there is not much I could have done about this one (short of building a time machine and going into the past to tell myself). I also don’t think I could have avoided horrible morning sickness, it seems to run in my family.
  • Stay Calm: Do you know what sucks more than losing your job in a shady way for no reason? To lose your job the day after you find out you’re pregnant. I was so worried about everything the for the first few weeks that I stressed myself out.  How can I pay all my bills? Should I sell my brand new car? How will we eat? How will we pay rent? Then all the horrible things popped in my head. What if we are horrible parents? What if we are so broke they take the baby away from us? What is something is wrong with the baby, how will pay for care? What is something happens to me and I need care? What if I lose the baby? What if something happens to Michael? In the end, do you know what good all that worrying did? Nothing. I cried on the couch for days and made myself a nervous wreck for nothing. Everything has worked out very well so far. It was not easy for awhile, but I am so happy right now that I almost can’t believe it. I really think that emotions play a role in morning sickness too. Once I started to calm down, I started to feel better. And I think losing my job was the universe’s way of giving me a break. I could not have worked those 10 weeks or so, and would have just stressed myself out trying.
  • It’s okay to be sick: I was convinced that I need to be one of those women who never has morning sickness and gets everything done like Wonder Woman. I know I just said I needed those 10 weeks of rest, but I did not comprehend that at the time. I would beat myself up for not going to the grocery store or doing the laundry. As I was sitting next to the toilet waiting to puke again, I would start crying thinking of Michael hard at work earning money and I wasn’t even going to make him dinner. And on top of it he was being soooo sweet and taking care of me—and all the household chores! He would tell me he doesn’t mind and understand that I don’t feel good. That just made me feel worse. Now I look back and realize I was doing a very important job, making a baby! The first trimester is when your baby goes from a dot to mini human—and that is a lot of work for your body. And, Michael knows I am not a some spoiled princess who expects to be waited on for the rest of her life. I needed help and he loves me enough to give it it to me. Next time, I will give myself a break. I will focus on keeping myself and the baby healthy.
  • Drink More Smoothies: I had a hard time keeping anything but plain bread with butter or ramen noodles down for weeks. That is not a very healthy diet at all. A few times I made smoothies with berries and soy milk, and drank them slowly over the course of the day. They still upset my stomach, but as long I went slowly, I kept them down. I know the obvious answer is I should have done this everyday, but I felt so awful that forcing something down was the last thing I wanted to do. Plus I didn’t have a blender at the time, just an old school food processor that is a pain to clean. A few days ago we bought a NutriBullet and I am in love. Michael offered to buy me one months ago and I don’t know why I ever hesitated. It’s quick and easy to clean. Plus, they resealable, so even if the smoothie makes me sick, I could freeze it for later. I drink a smoothie almost every morning now, and will make myself next time I am in the my first trimester.

And there are somethings I did right and I will do next time around too:

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  • Help from Mom: Even before I told my mom I was pregnant, she knew something was up and throwing out dates for her to fly down. Once I told her the news, she pretty much was on the next flight here (she is the definition of someone dying to be grandma). She took care of me and helped around the house. I am still very grateful for her coming, it was a huge help. Plus nothing helps you feel better like a hug from your mom.
  • Acupuncture: I had acupuncture for the first time while I was in Hawaii to treat insomnia and recover from my car accident. I loved it (major shout out to Kim, you are seriously an amazing healer, check her out if you are on the Big Island). I found a deal on Groupon for 3 sessions at a place in Campbell and decided to give it a dry for my morning sickness. I did not really like the acupuncturist, but the sessions did help. I went from the room spinning and wanting to throw up every time I stood to just an upset stomach and headache when I walked around too much. It wasn’t a 100% improvement, but when you are that sick, anything is better.
  • Benadryl: When you have already existing insomnia and add nausea, you are guaranteed to not get any sleep. I had all day to take a nap and recover, but I kept Michael up too. The doctor said I could take 1-2 Benadryl as need to help me sleep and reduce morning sickness. At first I was reluctant to take any medication, but I realized it wasn’t doing me or the baby any good to be exhausted and sick all the time. So I tried some Benadryl a few nights a week and it was amazing! I slept and my stomach calmed down. I still needed to lay down for bit and munch on crackers before I could really start my day, but it was an improvement for sure.
  • Not reading ahead:  I knew a bit about pregnancy and babies already. I love kids and have babysat for years. I also was thinking of becoming a neonatal nurse for awhile too. But somehow I got this crazy idea that it would be a great to get all the baby/pregnancy books and be totally informed right away. It started to skim through them, and got slightly overwhelmed. So I decided to return them and just look on sites like babycenter.com week by week or just for that trimester. My mom bought me The Everything Vegan Pregnancy Book, which I read as needed. Why make yourself worry each time something new happens? Or the books says something should happen and doesn’t? Plus who really needs to read about episiotomies when you still your baby is still the size of blueberry?

There are two things I am still not sure were the best idea, but would not go back and change them:

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  • First Trimester Marriage: I am not saying I regret marrying Michael. Not at all. I fell in love with him on our first date and knew he was the one about a month later. I wake up every morning grateful to have such an amazing man next to me. I am saying that is was very stressful planning a wedding when I was feeling like death. We had a trip to Vegas booked for Michael’s birthday anyways, so decided just getting married while we were there was easier. My mom was all excited and want to start booking everything right away. Did you pick a place? What about a dress? Upgrade your room to a suite? Where are you going for dinner? What show do you want to see? All that is a lot to deal with when you can’t even keep water down and are already stressed. However, I am not sure I would have wanted to wait until I felt better. I liked not needing a maternity dress. I got the dress of my dreams (curve hugging trumpet with a sweetheart neckline and pearl beading). I liked that I could still run around The Strip in cute little mini dresses and feel like a sexy new bride. Also, I was not showing so I didn’t get the “Why is she even here? Shouldn’t she be home resting? I bet she is drunk, too!” judgmental looks. I loved my wedding and love my husband, so I cannot complain. And maybe it’s just my warped sense of humor, but it’s kind of funny to say I had a shotgun wedding in Vegas!
  • The Belly Band: Like most women, I went through that “bloated but not really showing” phase. My normal pants just barely didn’t fit, but I wasn’t big enough for maternity pants. So I bought a Belly Band. I read the reviews first, and the most common complaint was that it unravels if you wash it a lot, especially in hot water. I decided it would be fine to just wash it as need with Michael’s delicate bike clothes and never dry it. I have to say it did the basic job. I could wear my normal pants unbuttoned and it did not look weird. Just looked like I had a tank top on underneath. However, the band does not stay up that well, which annoyed me. It didn’t fall directly off or expose my unbuttoned pants. But I wanted it to stay around my lower belly, over my button, and go down a half inch or so. It would slide a little and cover only two of the three areas I wanted. It was only $20 so it was not a giant waste of money, so meh.