Love In Motion: Confidence From Babywearing

You probably have seen on Instagram and Facebook page that I am a Brand Ambassador for Wrapsody Baby. I wanted to share how this came about and how babywearing changed my life.

DSCN0530 — This mom is tired, overwhelmed and exhausted. But thankful for her wrap!

When my son was born, I thought I knew what kind of mom I was going to be. Then reality set in. I was tired and very overwhelmed. Jack wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. I can remember vividly one night crying to my husband that I was a terrible mother because I couldn’t make my son happy. He reassured me that was not true, he’s just being a newborn. I found babywearing by chance (check it out my Babywearing Journey post) and everything changed.

Wrap City 062815_DSC_1254A — Compare this to the picture above. I look like a goddess and felt so strong. Photo credit: Mike Skelly (my dad!)

It also made me feel pretty. I lost my baby weight pretty easily, but my body was still different. Some of my old clothes didn’t fit the same. And my whole wardrobe had to be easy to nurse it. Some days this meant sweat pants and tank top—not the most attractive outfit. But once I started wearing all these gorgeous carriers with bright patterns and colors, I felt pretty good again. It was like a walking advertisement that said “Look at me! I am a mom, there is spit up on my shirt, but I am still beautiful.”

Babywearing also helped me find new social circles. I did not have too many friends in California. And the ones I did have, were not parents so it became hard to relate to them. I joined Babyweaing International to get help with wrapping and ended up meeting other awesome moms as well. Then I started talking about babywearing with my family and friends. I got so many questions that I started talking about it on this blog and on my personal Facebook. This also spread onto my Instagram and people all over the world began to comment.

1528597_10102074619652496_5613930373869619738_n — The first time we ever tried a Wrapsody at a BWI meeting. This is a Breeze Iris, I loved how light it was!

Then one day when I was just surfing Instagram I saw something interesting. Wrapsody was accepting applications for Brand Ambassadors. I figured why not? I had played with a Breeze at BWI meeting and liked it. It would be fun to work with a wrap company and learn new things.

I had to order Haumea. It reminds me of laying on the beach in Hawaii. Photo credit: Mike Skelly (my dad!)

Then I realized I didn’t know too much about the company or the wraps. I ordered my own Breeze directly from Wrapsody and bought a Stretch-Hybrid off the Wrapsody Love Facebook group. Jack is a big boy so I was worried they might not be supportive enough. I was wrong! Both wraps are totally toddler-worthy. And they will be great for my next baby because both are soft and supportive enough for a newborn as well. They come in so many colorways, too. There is truly something for everyone (there is even a Doctor Who wrap!).

Chronos, for all my fellow Whovians! Photo credit: Mike Skelly (my dad!)

Then I did some research on the company itself and fell madly in love. It was founded by Kristi, a mom who realized she needed a job where she could stay home with her kids and do something she loves (like me!). She loved babywearing, but could not afford carriers for $100+, so she started to make her own. Years later that morphed into a international company with multiple wraps collections. The wraps are inexpensive, quality, ethically made, and vegan! Wrapsody is still a small company today, it is just Kristi and her business partner Colleen. This is a match made in heaven for me. Their motto is “Babywearing is Love In Motion”, and that is exactly what babywearing is to me. I get to carry my son close while we explore, and I get to actively spread the love to other parents.

I never imagined I would doing tutorials on how to babywear!

Then last week I had strange moment, the kind when your realize your dreams are coming true and can’t believe it. I came up with the idea of Wrapsody Weekly Wrap Challenge. A new carry each for 20 weeks, to help people work on their wrapping skills. I did one through BWI of the Bay Area and it helped me understand the fundamentals of wrapping. Last week Kristi posted my tutorial video for a Front Double Hammock on the Wrapsody Facebook page and I was speechless. I never imagined this is where my life would be 2 years ago. Back in July 2013, I was bawling my eyes out of fear when I found out I was pregnant. I had no idea where my life was going and how I was going to handle a baby. July 2014, I was still a confused new mom trying to figure out her place in life. And now, July 2015, I am confident mom who has plans and goals for the future. I am starting a local babywearing group in my hometown, applying to be a Volunteer Babywearing Educator with BWI of Portland, and even looking into becoming a Certified Babywearing Educator. Babywearing has opened so many doors for our family, and I am truly thankful. Thankful for the bond it created for my family. Thankful for the career options it’s providing. Thankful to Wrapsody for helping my dreams become a reality. And most of all, I am thankful for the confidence babywearing gave to me.

Wrap City 062815_DSC_1454A — Love and confidence in motion. How gorgeous is Chosen? Photo Credit: Mike Skelly (my dad!)

***This is not a sponsored blog post. These are my own, independent thoughts. Wrapsody or any other entity did not pay me to these make any statements.

Carrier Types

There are countless way to carry your baby. I could dedicate an entire blog just to the subject of babywearing over the ages and in different cultures. But who has time for all that? Since I get asked about babywearing and carriers a lot, I thought I would make a simple post on the most common types of carriers and provide some resources on them. Not every type of carrier is right for everyone. I LOVE wraps, but maybe you will hate how long they can to learn. So a ring sling may be your jam. Or maybe you want to skip all that fabric because it makes you hot, and go straight for a SSC. So check out the common options and think about what would work for you….

Soft Structured Carriers

Soft Structure Carriers: Think baby backpack. Most are pretty easy to use—just a few snaps and buckles. Most are pretty easy to put on alone and most an be shared between wearers easily. Most can do front, hip, and back carries. Also, most are very economic and can be worn for a long time. Note I said most….not all SSC are created equal. If you buy a $35 off eBay or at Walmart, it probably won’t be that comfortable for you or the baby. Also watch on for cheap, poorly made ones from China, they can actually break and hurt your baby. But a good SSC is amazing and pay for itself overtime. And just because you hated one brand, don’t give up!

Everyone is different and there are so many brands nowadays that odds are you can find the perfect on for your needs. Common brands are Ergo, Tula, and Beco. I personally love Action Baby, but we own a Tula since that’s my husband’s favorite.

Woven Wraps

Woven Wraps: A long piece of woven fabric that you use to secure your baby onto you. Can easily be shared between wearers, great for nursing, and can be tied in many different ways to suit your needs. Can be used for front, hip, and back carries. When tied properly, very ergonomic and comfy. However, there is a huge learning curve. It’s takes time and patience to learn how to wrap. But once you get it, it’s magic! Once you get a carry down, it is very easy to do alone (even back carries!). Then there is the whole addiction issue….you might become a total wrap junkie and own more than you can count. There are so many brands, sizes, patterns, materials, weaves, and so on. You find one you love and suddenly want to try another. Then another. And another. Soon you’ve spent a small fortune!

My dream wrap, Kokadi Kurma. It will be buried with me!

It doesn’t have to be this way though, I do know responsible people who only own one or two wraps. But it’s a fun world to get into if you can afford it. Common brands are Diddymos, Girasol, and Lenny Lamb (honestly this list could go on and on). I am a wrap girl, my two personal favorites wraps are my Girasol Tahoe and my Kokadi Kurma (both size 4).

Bei Dai/Meh Dai

Bei Dai/Meh Dai: An Asian-style carrier, sort of a mix between a SSC and wrap. Your baby sits in a like SSC, but you tie/wrap the straps like a wrap. Easy to use and much easier to learn than wrapping. Can be used for front, hip, and back carries. You can do some of fancier finishes like a wrap, but have the simplicity of SSC while putting your baby in. However, since the straps do not adjust like a SSC, it can be harder to share between wearers. And they can be harder to fit as your baby grows and might be too big for a newborn. And they come in as much variety as a wraps.

Fidella Fly Meh Dai Outer Space Blue, it’s heaven.

You can even convert a wrap into one. Common brands are Infantino Sash, and BabyHawk. I love Meh Dais for hiking, especially my Fidella Fly Meh Dai. The body panel adjusts so it can fit from newborn to toddler. And it’s sooooo cushy and soft.

Stretchy Wraps

Stretchy Wraps: A wrap made from stretchy jersey-knit fabric that you use to tie your baby onto you. Similar to a woven wrap, but with one big difference—they are NOT suitable for back carries. They should only be used for front and hip carries. Can be easily shared between wearers and very easy to put on alone. A much smaller learning curve than a woven wrap because you can pre-tie the wrap on then insert the baby. Perfect for newborns, so snuggly! And most can support a baby into toddlerhood, but it will probably be uncomfortable. The stretch makes it harder for heavier babies to stay high and the straps might dig into you. But they are a great way to start babywearing and see if you like wrapping. And they tend to be cheaper than woven wraps. Common brands are Boba and Moby. My first baby carrier was a Boba and I loved it. So snuggly and saved my sanity with a newborn.

14 - 2 — Boba Wrap in Orange, the first time I ever wrapped Jack up at one week old!

*There is an exceptions to the back carry rule. A few brands make hybrid stretchy wraps ones that can be used for back carries, such as the Wrapsody Hybrid wrap .

With a Hybrid, you can pretty much do everything you can with a stretchy wrap (like the snuggly Pocket Wrap Cross Carry) and most of the stuff you can do with a woven (like the supportive Double Hammock).

Ring Slings

15 - 3 — Lenny Lamb Heavenly Lace Large Ring Sling

Ring Slings: A piece of woven fabric with two rings attached to one end that you use to make a sling for your baby. Can be used for front, hip, and back carries. They are fairly easy to share between wearers, but since they are sized, they may not share well between two people with a big difference in size. For example, a petite wife will probably buy a small and her body-builder husband probably would want a large. They come in many colors, patterns, weaves and fabrics like woven wraps so the possibilities are endless. When picking one, watch for the quality and strength of the rings. Cheap rings run the risk of breaking and dropping your baby to the ground. Ring slings are easy to nurse in and are wonderful for newborns. Also very easy to put on alone and perfect for quick ups. There is a much smaller learning curve than woven wraps—pretty much learn how to thread the sling, place your baby correctly, and tighten. But it can get uncomfortable with a larger baby or toddler for long periods in a front or hip carry, since the weight is distributed over one side of your body. And back carries are a a bit tricky to learn, similar to woven wraps.

Sigh, the oh so beautiful Natibaby Nebula Ring Sling. I miss it.

Common brands are Maya, Sakura Bloom, and most wrap brands make them as well. To be honest, I am not that big a ring sling fan. My favorite was my Natibaby Nebula, it was so beautiful. But like I said, not all carriers are for everyone. Ring slings and I just don’t get along well, so I sold it.

Here are some wonderful links and resources for some experts:

This is a wonderful chart Wrapsody made comparing different types of carriers. Yes, it’s a biased towards their product (and it honestly is a darn good wrap). And it goes into more detail on carrier types than I do. But it shows you all the potential options in a carrier.

Wrap You In Love is a totally awesome babywearing Consultant in Germany. Her website is a wealth of knowledge. She explains different types of carriers here in great detail. And here she lists pretty much every brand of carrier I’ve ever heard.

Babywearing 102 is another wealth of knowledge. It started as a Tumblr and now is mainly a Facebook page. Both are a great resource. This babywearing glossary was SO helpful when I started started out.

And lastly, the ever wonderful Babywearing International. I recommend you find your local chapter and attend a meeting. You can borrow carriers until you find the right one for you and get advice on how to use them properly. The website is very helpful if you cannot attend a meeting.

And regardless of the type of carrier you use, please remember to follow proper babywearing procedures at all times! This nifty poster can help you remember.

And just for fun, here is montage of all these carriers!

Vegan Parenting

I am a vegan. I am a parent. Does that make me a vegan parent? It sure does! Hence the name of this blog.

Jack does not exclusively eat a vegan diet. This was a compromise between my husband and I (see here). But since I am his primary caregiver, he eats a lot of vegan meals with me. One of his favorite meals is my Dhal and Aloo Mattar. But veganism is a complete lifestyle, going vegan chances many aspects of your life besides just diet. So, the other day this lead me to think about just what does being a vegan parent mean? How does veganism affect they way I raise my son?

"Why do you keep telling me eggs from chickens?" — “Why do you keep telling me eggs from chickens?”

Before Jack was born, Michael and I discussed the major parenting choices like punishments and sex education. This lead me to think about what kind of parents we would be, so I looked up parenting styles.Oh boy, there are a lot! And there are some very strong opinions out there (the whole Tiger Mom controversy). I was overwhelmed and kind of turn off by the whole idea of defining the care of my child in such blunt terms.

So I asked myself what values that my husband and I both share do I want him to learn? After some soul searching, I came to that we want to teach him compassion, understanding, and patience. I also want encourage our love of science, nature, and education. Then I realized I kind of gave a broad definition of what vegans stand for overall. Compassion towards all living things! And to understand such ideas, you need to know science and nature—which is done through education.

After searching the web and reading a bunch of articles, I found this one from She Knows Parenting the easiest to follow with great definitions. The article lists 5 main styles:

Instinctive: Based on the way you were bought up, following your parents’ example. Trusting your instincts that you know what is right for your child.
Attachment: Focused on creating a deep emotional bond and encouraging them to express their feelings. Some see it as a holistic parenting approach.
Helicopter: Being deeply involved in every aspect of the child’s life. Overseeing and sometimes controlling their actions and experiences. Know to shielding and prevent all obstacles from ever even reaching their child.
Authoritative: Clear and direct rules and expectations. And if they are not obeyed, direct consequences will be enforced. However, the rules are usually fair and are in place to protect the child’s development. Are nurturing when need.
Permissive: Letting the child be who they are with little rules and expectations. Very open, non-confrontational, and nurturing. Based on the idea that children do not have the mental capacity to understand maturity and responsibility.

But without a baby, we had no idea what kind of parents we would be. Like I said, I was not going to pigeonhole myself, so I read read over those options with skepticism. Nothing clicked. Instrictive kind of sound nice, we both had nice childhoods, maybe just did what our parents did? Overall those were all just words and abstract idea. We needed a baby in front of us and to figure out what worked for us.

Once Jack arrived, I slowly fell more and more into attachment parenting without even realizing it. I just did what made sense for our family. I decided to exclusively breastfeeding for the health benefits and to save money. Then I bought a baby carrier (and later many more), since Jack wanted to be held all the time and I want free hands on occassion.This lead to me attending (and later becoming a member) of both La Leche League and Babywearing International meetings. Extended breastfeeding and babywearing are two huge aspects of attachment parenting, so these groups naturally led towards other attachment ideas. Now we embrace co-sleeping, baby-led weaning, gentle discipline. And last week we started on cloth diapers. So here I am one year in, an attachment parent by accident. Michael is on board with all of it too. He sees how happy and healthy Jack is, so he has no complaints

IMG_2645 (1) — Attached daddy wearing his son for a daytrip to Napa, melts my heart!.

What does attachment parenting have to do with veganism? Well, it stresses compassion and understanding of your child. Hopefully one day he will spread this idea of ever-encompassing love towards every living thing on the planet.

10409709_10101649074069256_3753505971690499749_n — Jack LOVES animals so far. Especially our cats. This was the first time he pulled himself up, to pet Zoey!

I am trying very hard to explain veganism to him a simple and non-invasive way right now. Right now the greatest thing I can do is treat him animal compassion. I show him every animal we come across and explain why it matters to the planet. For example, “See the duck on the pond, Jack? It says quack quack. Ducky eats the plants and algae in the water to help keep the pond healthy. See her little ducklings following her? She takes care of them like I care for you.” That way the duck is something is way more than a restaurant menu item to him. I want him to understand why that duck and all over ducks matter.

"Yeah yeah, the dhal is made from lentils that come from plants...thanks mom..." — “Yeah yeah, the dhal is made from lentils that come from plants…thanks mom…”

Then there is the dietary stuff as well. When he eats lentils, I tell him those came from a plant. When he eats cheese, I tell him that is made from a mama cow’s milk, like the milk you get from mommy. When he eats meat, I tell him that is from the body of an animal.

This is exclusive to being vegan or attachment parenting? No, you can meat-loving attached parent or a vegan tiger mom. Nothing wrong with either one! But overall, attachment parents and veganism share a lot of the same ideals.

Overtime I will explain more and more why I do not eat animals and why daddy does. I will never force him to be vegan, it will be his choice. I hope one day he does decide to go vegan. But overall I hope he always leads a life full of compassion and always seeks out knowledge, the true vegan spirit.

Almost Knotless Ruck Carry

What do you do when your baby is cranky from teething and you want to try a new carry? Put on some music and have some fun! This a knotless ruck carry using a size 4 Girasol Tahoe, but I did one more bunched pass to get the one long tail out of the way. The song is “Girl In A Country Song” by Maddie & Tae. Warning, white girl dancing!

If you have questions about babywearing, please go check out my links section and contact a babywearing educator.

Pre-tied Back Carries With Four Variations

After watching my last babywearing video, I was not that happy. It wasn’t me… I’m not a stand there and give instructions kind of person. I am not trying to be a babywearing educator, I’m just trying to show people the fun of babywearing. I decided to take a new approach with my videos. I am just going to demonstrate how I like to do carries and add some fun music. That’s more my style, doing rather than dictating.

Anyways, this is how I learned to back carries. I struggled with making a seat and spreading the passes because I was worried he would fall. Someone from my local Babywearing International chapter showed me this video and it all started to click for me. This is just how I like to do.

For information on how to do back carries safely, click here.

Front Wrap Cross Carry Tutorial

I re-did the video since the first once was sooo boring. Just my baby and I having some wrapping fun to the Lilo Stitch soundtrack!

If you have questions about babywearing, please see my links section and contact a babywearing wearing educator.

Our Babywearing Journey So Far

Hello, my name is Samantha and I am addicted to babywearing. I don’t even know how it ended up like this! Searching swap sites all night long looking for my dream wrap, youtubing videos for new carriers to try, and debating in my head all day about Tula vs. Ergo! All this started with not wanting to be one of those annoying moms with a giant stroller taking up half the sidewalk. I had no idea the world of babywearing would be so engulfing!

Before I got into babywearing, I had seen of Baby Bjorns and other narrow base carriers. I heard they are a pain to get on and can hurt your back after a while. So, I didn’t think too much of them. Then one day on Pinterest I saw a pin about how babywearing places your baby’s spine and legs in a good position. I did more research and decided to get a carrier for Jack.

3 days old.I hated the carrier, but loved wearing him.

I bought an Infantino Swift Carrier and tried it the first day Jack came home from the hospital. I had no idea what I was doing! We went for a walk around the block and Jack was out like a light. I didn’t know all the rules of babywearing yet, but I could tell it wasn’t right for us. He wasn’t high enough, I didn’t like his leg position, and it hurt my back. Plus it was INSANELY hard to put on and off by myself (Michael and my dad had to help me). The only plus was he liked being so close to me and he went to sleep easily.

So much fabric!

So, I looked up other carriers and stretchy wraps came up right away for newborns. I settled on a Boba Wrap (mainly because of the price). Thanks to Amazon Prime, it came the next day! I was so overwhelmed by the amount of fabric at first. I didn’t think I could get the wrap right.

It was love at first wrap.

However, once I just went for it and got more practice, I really liked it. Jack also didn’t like it at first, but, that was my fault. It took me a bit to get the “froggy” leg position right. Once I got it right, he loved it. We went for daily walks to help me recover from childbirth while he calmly slept on my chest.

He kept turning his head out of the sun every walk.

The Boba wrap gets pretty hot. It’s thick fabric that wraps around you and the baby three times. It gets pretty hot in San Jose in the summer. Just a few minutes in the sun, even in the shade, Jack and I get pretty sweaty. It was a great introduction to wrapping, but I needed something else.

So I did some research on babywearing in the summer and discovered that woven wraps are a lot lighter. I found BabyWearing International Bay Area website and saw my local meeting was the next day! One of the leaders let me try her woven wrap and I instantly fell in love! It was light and cool. Also less stretchy so Jack felt very secure against me. And it was so beautiful! My babywearing friend phrased it best, ” We show our children beautiful arts, why not wrap them in it?”

My first love. This will be my legacy wrap.

I ordered a wrap that night. I was amazed by all the beautiful colors and patterns they come in! I spent hours trying to decided what to get. I finally settled on a Girasol Tahoe Exclusive from Woven Wraps. I loved the idea of wrapping my son in the colors of a something so naturally beautiful.

Tahoe wrap at Lake Tahoe!

I didn’t know about sizing so I got a 4. Later I found out most people get a size 6 or bigger so they have extra fabric to work with as they learn. But I made it work.

Our first time wrapping on our own. FWCC.

It took me a few tries (Jack got fussy so I had to switch to a stuffed animal). But once I got it, it became pretty easy. We were so much cooler on our walks. And I loved that he was safe, secure—and I was hands free! I could pick a flower or open the front door without any struggles. I started to try other carries too. We began with a Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC), the carry I learned at BWI. It is very easy to do, it just takes some patience.

Took me a bit to get the shoulder flip on a kangaroo carry.

Moved on to a Kangaroo Carry. It’s so snuggly, it’s my favorite for after doctor’s visits.

Rebozo hip carry to pick pumpkins.

Then came the hip carries: Rebozo, Poppin’s and a Robin’s. I love hip carries for when we go to museums or parks when Jack wants to look around, but still be snuggled.

Back Wrap Cross Carry is better with rainbows!

Then I bought another wrap, a longer wrap this time I could do more carries. A Storchwiege Inka. I loved the rainbow colors! I have to admit, it was way easier to do a FWCC with a longer wrap. But, I think I learned how to tighten carries better starting out with the shorter wrap.

“I don’t know why you keep throwing me
on your back, but it’s sure if fun!”

After a few months I attempted back carries and it did not go well. I could not get a good seat! I worked on it everyday for a month! Jack was a good sport, but I was getting so frustrated.

First time he was on my back, just scooted the hip rebozo back.

I saw a Youtube video on you can scoot a hip rebozo to your back if you need your baby out of the way for a bit, and that worked well. But, it wasn’t comfortable for long term wearing for me.

My first pre-tied Half Jordan’s Back Carry, I was SO happy.

So, I reached out for help on BWI of the Bay Area’s facebook group. They all told me to come to the meeting first of all, someone will gladly help me in person. But in the meantime, I could try a pre-tied back carry. It is essentially the same as scooting the rebozo carry to your back, but adding more passes for support. I got it instantly and was so happy. I cleaned my kitchen with my baby on my back that day right away.

I was SO excited to have a good ruck, I took this picture
leaving the meeting right in the middle of Sport Basement!

I continued to do this carry for few more weeks until I got comfortable with doing the passes and such over my back. But, I still couldn’t make a seat on my back so I still went to the meeting. A leader quickly saw that I just needed to reach inside his legs when I pulled the fabric, not on the outside. Once I did that I did my very first Ruck on my own instantly!

Took this about a week ago, he was two seconds
from a meltdown and I rucked him up quickly.

The next month or so I continued to mainly do the pre-tied carry, but practiced putting him on my back normally occasionally. And as of last week I can just toss him easily whenever!

There was no room to wrap him in the busy parking
lot at the Social Security Office, so we did a pre-tie.

I still do the pre-tied when we are in a parking lot or a place without much room for convenience. But I do Rucks and Double Hammocks when I’m going to be wearing him for a long time.

Michael wearing Jack in a Double Hammock with the lovely DOTD wrap.

I’ve bought more wraps too. I have a gorgeous size 6 Lenny Lamb Day of The Dead wrap that I bought off The Babywearing Swap on Facebook. It’s so supportive and soft, I love it so much.

Rebozo in the Little Frog to comfort my sick baby.

And I have a Little Frog Pyrobe in size 3. I love this wrap for quick ups and to make a No Sew Ring Sling. It gets used almost everyday. It’s not quite as supportive as the Lenny Lamb, but it’s still a great wrap.

Poppin’s Hip carries will hurt my shoulder after
a while if I don’t have them tied very tight.

If you follow my food blog, you may recall I was in a car accident 3 years ago and have a permanent back injury as a result. A few carries aggravate it if I wear for long term, but overall it does not hurt my back at all. When tightened and wrapped properly, baby’s weight is evenly distributed and doesn’t not hurt.

Wrapping up for another babywearing adventure!

I can clean my house, go for hikes, go to the store, or calm a sick baby while being wrapped with beauty. You can wear into toddlerhood and even early childhood if you are both comfortable. And you can do tandem wearing when you have another baby!What’s not to love about babywearing? I’m excited to continue this beautiful journey as Jack grows. I will do more babywearing posts in the future. Can’t wait to share our continuing journey!

Life Without A Travel System

While I was pregnant, I did a post about Why I Don’t Want A Big Stroller. In a nutshell, I think they are annoying, rude to take out in crowded places, and I wanted to hold my baby. So how did it work out now that I have my baby? Did I call my mom crying over how stupid I was for not getting a travel system?

No, we still do not have one big travel system. And have no plans on getting one. We did receive a jogging stroller from Michael’s friends as a shower gift. We do use it, but it is not our main choice to take Jack out in public. I still think it’s rude to the big stroller out in most public places. They get in the way and take up so much room. We use it mainly for walks around the neighborhood and to non-crowded parks. It reclines pretty far back so he went in it for the first time at two weeks old. But he doesn’t like it that much. He will stay in it for about an hour then screams to held.

Shortly after I took this he woke up screaming, he’s not a big fan.

We also have a detachable car seat carrier we received secondhand. We put it in Michael’s car (the car we use the least) so both cars have a seat just in case. We do carry him around in it sometimes. But I want to add he doesn’t stay in there that long. It’s not like we are staying out to midnight. We go out for a couple hours and are back before his bedtime. It does not connect into our stroller, so it’s not convenient to carry him around in it. But it’s nice because he will sleep in it and we can give him a bottle easily if he’s hungry. It honestly saves my sanity at the grocery store. My hands are free and the movement of the cart usually lulls him to sleep.

He wasn’t too sure about that basil…

I need to stress it is not recommend to use a secondhand car seat, a new one is always preferred. However, if you are going with a used one, there are a few rules. First of all, make sure it is not passed it’s expiration date (ours has a year left so after Jack out grows it we will throw it away). Make sure you know the person giving it to you (ours came from a nice family who our friend nannies for). Only accept it if you know for sure it has not been in an accident (ours has not). And lastly sanitize the fabric but do not wash it. Car seat fabric had a fire retardant on it that can be washed off.

The main form of transportation for Jack is babywearing. He loves being worn! It is a sure fire way to calm him and get him to sleep when he is fussy. We still have the Infantino Swift Carrier I mentioned in my other post. Michael uses that one on occasion. I used when he was first born. It’s nice but, I wanted something more snuggly so I ordered a Boba Wrap. I fell in love with babywearing the first time I put Jack in it. He’s all snuggled and secure, but my hands are free!

Sleeping while we went out to lunch

But the Boba gets hot, so after some research and a meeting with the local BabyWearing International group, I also ordered a woven wrap. Jack loves this wrap too. We stay cooler because it’s made of cotton. I use this wrap almost everyday for walks now. I think Jack likes this one a bit more because he can sit a bit more upright and look around more. Though he sleep in either one like a champ. Both were great investments, absolutely worth the money.

Checking out the neighborhood on our walk.

So how is life without a big travel system? Great! I am not that rude mother knocking people over with her oversize stroller in a crowd. Nor am that friend who shows up for a late dinner and plops the car seat on the table. Nor am I the parent who never holds their child and leaves them in the car seat all day. I will confess one thing though—it would be easier to have a travel system for when Jack falls asleep in the car and I don’t want to wake him when I pick him up to put in the wrap. But overall, it’s not that big if a deal since he loves sleeping in his wrap.

Why I Don’t Want a Big Stroller

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My shower invitations went out recently (thanks Kamille!). Right away some of my close friends and family who want to buy the more expensive items asked why I didn’t have a travel system or a car seat combo stroller. I politely told them we already have a umbrella stroller for when he can hold himself up, and until then we are just going to carry him. Then they tried to explain how much easier it will be to take him places and let him sleep. I politely tell them again we do not want one, but thank you for your concern. They have been nice and understood, but still think we should get one.

These gigantic things. source

I am not some masochist who wants her torture herself by carrying around a baby until my arms are totally dead. I have two logical reasons for not wanting a travel system stroller.

Yes they do. source

First of all, they are public nuisance . Have you ever been in a public place, like a mall or just walking down the street, and suddenly been plowed over by some lady with a double-wide stroller? And of course you can’t say anything because you know she is struggling to keep it together under the stress of taking a screaming baby out in public. But you give her a little glare as she continues to plow down the crowd as she makes her way through. Oh look, she just took out an old lady with a walker, who then fell on a 5-year-old. Or even at a restaurant–you are trying to simply walk to the bathroom and back, but are blockaded by gigantic strollers. And if you accidentally bump one while trying to navigate through, the parents angrily yell at you for disturbing their baby. I know parenting is hard and it’s nice to have your arms free to do stuff, but pushing a giant stroller around in public is rude. In fact, I think it’s very rude. There is a difference between the world becoming more kid-friendly (which I love) and parents just being selfish. Your baby does not need the giant stroller packed full of stuff. You don’t need it either—you just want it. You want to have everything stowed away for your convenience. The world should not revolve around you just because you had a baby. Have some consideration for others. I refuse to be this rude of a person ever, so this is my number one reason for not wanting a travel system stroller. They are just too big and impractical. Also, I have more compassion for the women who has a screaming baby in public if she hasn’t run me over with her stupid stroller. In fact, I would probably let her cut in line or something when it looks like she is about to burst into tears with her baby.

My senitments exactly. source

And I know someone is going to say, “But I got invited out to a friend’s birthday dinner at this great restaurant. If I don’t take the big stroller where she can sleep, I don’t get to go!” I know it sucks, but you are a parent now. Either hire a sitter for the night or tell your friend sorry, but you can’t go because your baby needs to sleep in her own bed. You have a greater responsibility to your child’s healthy and safety than to having dinner with your friend.

*I would just like to note, if you have multiples, a bigger stroller may be necessary. I understand and got no problem with that. But it doesn’t need to be GIGANTIC and you don’t need to take into a crowded place.

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Secondly, it’s not good for your baby it be laying down all the time. I was browsing on Pinterest one day and came across an article with a Youtube Video about why/how you should carry your baby. Sadly, I cannot find that original Pin

So I will link some similar ones below. But essentially, a newborn’s spine is C-shaped. It’s weak and not very flexible. Your baby has been squished up inside you for nine months. Laying your baby flat on it’s back in a carseat for an extended period of time is bad. Their muscles are not strong enough to be uncurled and stretched out yet. This places too much stress on their delicate spine. As the baby grows, their muscles eventually get stronger. Then they can support their own heads and their spines to begin to develop a slight curve. And only when they learn to walk do they have the full standard spinal curvature. Until then, laying your baby down with it’s legs and spine spread flat often puts too much stress on the muscles and spine. It will interfere with the natural unraveling and strengthening of the spine.

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Carrying either in your arms or in a sling properly does not cause such spinal stress. Newborns and older infants should be carried facing towards you so they are not leaning backwards (stretching out the spine) for support. The carrier should support the entire length of the back—shoulders down the back of the knees. They should be snug but not pinned in place. Their legs should be allowed to curl naturally and freely, to prevent hip displacement. Check the height and weight limits of your sling, and make sure your baby isn’t too big for it, which can cause spine issues as well.

Why wouldn’t you want to snuggle your baby? source

See, there is logic to not wanting a travel system stroller, both a societal issue and development concerns. These reasons are not based purely on research though, I have some practical experience too. I babysat for different families that have used travel systems, slings, or both. I found the big stroller annoying to luge around. And it bothered me that the baby was isolated down and away from me. I liked most of the slings (one family had a weird homemade one that hurt my shoulder). I liked the baby being close against me so I could make sure they were okay. My hands were free and my movements were not impeded that much at all.

Our stroller. Simple, light weight, and folds easily. source

And when he does gets too big or it’s impractical to take him in the sling, we did get an umbrella stroller. He can’t go in it until he can support himself upright though. It’s small enough that if we do need to take it in a crowded place, we won’t take out any old ladies. It’s collapsible so if we need to eat in a crowded restaurant, we can fold it up and tuck it out of the way. And it’s probably not comfortable for him to sleep at night, but that’s not a problem. He will not be staying out late just because we want to. I firmly believe that babies need a set bedtime routine in their regular bed. So if want to go out out, we will hire a sitter. Or sadly we might not be able to go out. That is something you have to accept as a parent.

Also, I actually want to hold my baby. I spent all this time and effort making him, I want to see his cute little face and rock him in my arms! And who knows, maybe after a month I will be calling my mom crying and saying I was stupid for not wanting travel system.

More info on proper baby carrying:
Strollers, Baby Carriers, and Infant Stress, Boba
How to Practice Safe Babywearing, Imperfect Homemaker
Benefits of Babywearing, Babywearing International