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Can You Hike In It? Firespiral Autumn Dendron Harvest

Falling leaves, deep brunt orange colors, and squirrels running playfully. This wrap is a lovely cool weather carrier. I was very excited to host this wrap for some Oregon Fall adventure.

Manufacturer: FireSpiral Slings
Colorway: Autumn Dendron Harvest
Color: Orange, red, purple
Pattern: Trees, leaves, and squirrels
Size: 6 (Base +1 for me)
Materials: 100% cotton
Weave: Jacquard
Release date: September 2015

Right away I smiled at the squirrels. I love when carriers have fun little details like this. The deep warm colors are so inviting. And it’s thick and soft like a blanket. I was excited for some newborn hiking snuggles.

Dendron Harvest went for a very fun trip to the Columbia River Gorge while my in-laws were visiting. Multnomah Falls is truly an Oregon treasure. The fourth highest falls in America, and only 30 minutes from Portland.

Location: Multnomah Falls
Distance: 0.78 miles
Trail Type: Paved concrete
Weather: Raining and windy
Trail Conditions: Wet, muddy and busy

Of course, it had to be POURING down rain when we got there. But Oregonians always do it in the rain, so just bundled up everyone and headed out anyways. The falls themselves are just a short walk from the parking lot.

Then another short but switchbacking hike takes you to the bridge at the first falls. Michael, Jack, Bear and I ran up that one while everyone else checked out the gift shop. It’s a well maintained, paved trail with some wooden bridges along the way. It is not toddler friendly, the trail has steep drop offs and is not smooth. Please take your toddlers and babies (it’s a beauty they need to see!), but keep them in carriers at all times.

It was very crowded at the bridge, EVERYONE was posing for photos and clogging up the bridge. We quickly snapped the best one we could and ran back down.

I wore Bear in a Front Wrap Cross Carry with a Twist. He was warm and fell asleep in minutes. This wrap is seriously like snuggling in a big soft blanket.
Then we had lunch in the lodge, and of course Jack finished quickly. He begged me to go wander so I took Bear out the waiting area to nurse while Jack looked around. That went to hell quickly,so as soon as Bear finished, I had to wrap them both up to keep the place from being destroyed.

So, I did my first tandem carry with the same wrap! I put Jack on my back in a Ruck Tied Tibetan, and took the Tibetan Passes to do a Front Cross Carry with Bear. It was sooo comfortable, and I credit a lot of that to the cushion of the wrap. However, it was a bit hard to pull the Cross Passes up around Bear at first because of the thickness, but I got it done. We walked back to the parking lot with pride.

Two weeks later, we went on another awesome adventure—Halloweentown! I totally forgot last year that the movie was filmed in St. Helens, Oregon. But this year I made sure to take my family. I realized this wrap was the perfect colors for the occasion!

Bear strolled around town in a Front Wrap Cross Carry with a Twist (and I had to do my tutorial video at the plaza with all the decorations).

Later Jack decided his legs couldn’t work anymore, so I put him up in a Front Cross Carry. The wrap was very supportive for his 27-pound butt and long legs.

The key feature of this wrap is the design. How can you not love the squirrels and falling leaves? And the deep brunt orange color just pulls it all together. It’s thick like your favorite winter blanket, but tightens easily for lots of support. It can be a bit hard to spread out when bunched or tightened though. And I would not recommend doing carries where the thick wrap goes under a newborn’s delicate legs.

Can you hike with a FireSpiral Autumn Dendron Harvest? Yes! This a great cool weather wrap for all ages. Even when bolting up a switchbacking trail on a rainy day or containing a bouncing toddler, this a great hiking wrap.

Newborn Front Wrap Cross Carry with a Twist

A Front Wrap Cross Carry is a wonderful basic carry, both beginners and experts come back to time and time again.

But, the crossing the passes under a newborn’s tiny little legs can add too much pressure. A simple lexi twist under baby’s bottom instead secures the carry without any added pressure.

This carry is done with a base +1 wrap.

Amateur Geologist’s Take On Amber Teething Necklaces

I have wanted to write this post for a long time. I get asked often about Jack’s Baltic amber teething necklace. He was worn one pretty much continuously since 6-months-old. It’s cute little hippy-looking little piece of jewelry. Nothing fancy really. But it supposedly holds great healing powers.

410815_10100468479764706_906003922_o — Happy little geologist!

In addition to babywearing, rocks are my other passion in life. Gems, minerals, stones, boulders, formations—whatever you call them. They fascinate me! It’s literally the creation and destruction of the Earth, what’s not to love? I even got second degree in geology after I already graduated from college because I love rocks so much.

So, when I first heard about amber teething necklaces, I was intrigued. A rock that magically alleviates pain? Sounds like some snake oil. I believe in quite a bit of naturopathic methods as long as they backed up by some quality evidence. Here is a nice site the sums up how Baltic Amber works. In a nut shell, put the necklace on under clothes, it will heat up with body temperature then release succinic acid, your body absorbs it and relieves the pain.

I need to be honest here. THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD! Succinic acid does not secrete out of Amber at body temperature. Rocks don’t release elements or compounds unless it is heated, under pressure, or dissolved in solution. In this case, the claimed mechanism is heat so I will focus on that. Every rock has a melting point, when it goes from solid to liquid. During the process, components of the rock break free.

Amber’s melting point is 570 degrees F and succinic acid’s is 363 degrees F. So even when amber starts to melt, succinic acid probably isn’t even the first component to come out. And, if human external body temperature is about 93.2 degrees F, that means it’s over 250 degrees short of melting against your skin.

So for this reason, I call snake oil. There is no way Baltic Amber teething necklaces work the way they claim. It just not possible, that’s not how rocks work at all. All that being said, I totally believe in them. However they work, they totally work. Jack is my proof.

Jack is the slowest teether ever. He started around 4-months-old, but didn’t actually cut a tooth until he was about 8-months-old. He’s 2 and half-years-old now, and still waiting on 3 molars! And teething makes him very grumpy.

2014-09-23 — *nom nom* your hand makes my mouth better

Constantly wanting to comfort nurse and chew on my hand. And the minute I would take my breast or hand away, he would be furious. I tried many other teething remedies like numbing gel, clove oil, frozen teething toys, cold wash cloth,. etc. I tried to avoid pain medicine unless baby has a fever—but I would give it to him almost every day to keep him happy.

I can’t remember where I heard about Baltic Amber Teething Necklaces, but it was when he was around 6-months-old. I ran to my local baby boutique and bought one. I put it on outside the store and took Jack out to lunch nearby. He sat happily in the high chair and ate his lunch. I stared at him the whole time, waiting for him to scream to nurse. But he stayed happy. He napped happily when we got home. Even my husband asked why he was so happy at dinner that night. However, the necklace wasn’t totally magic. When the tooth actually cut through, he was grumpy again that day and needed pain medicine.

I know it could be coincidence. But when the second and third tooth cut at the same time, he was not wearing the necklace and it was horrible. I had taken it off when he went swimming and forgot to put it back on. That week he was a monster even with pain medicine.

I could not figure out why and was going crazy with his behavior. Then one day Michael asked where his necklace was and I realized it was still in the swim bag. I put it on him and a little while later he was calm again. This pattern continued any time I forgot to put the necklace back on him. Monster without it and calm again with it.

Worst two weeks ever without the necklace

The greatest test of the necklace was when we moved to Oregon. Jack took his necklace off on the road trip to play with it and it got lost in the car. For two weeks, he was teething mess with 4 teeth cutting. Drooling, sucking anything he could get in his mouth, comfort nursing constantly, and just general grumpiness.

A few days later with necklace on and so happy.

Then my friend FrogMama send Jack one and became my life saver! He went back to his happy self in no time. The necklace pretty much stayed on him constantly for the next year and I think it helped a lot. I didn’t even realize he was cutting his canines until one day I heard a pop sound and he started crying.

Kept it glued to him for the next year and he had very little teething drama

So how do they work? I have no idea. I’ve heard two theories that seem more reasonable to me. One is acupressure. That the necklace is sitting on pressure point on the neck that goes to the jaw and teeth. However, I argue that necklaces move around (especially with a crazy toddler), so I am not sure how accurate this theory could be. The second is a subject I’ve never looked into before (please tell me if you know more), intentions.

A mom I chatted with at an indoor play place has an interesting theory: Intention. She was studying Eastern Medicine and explained the concept. The idea that you are placing your love and good intentions creates a placebo effect, relieving the pain. This could explain why the necklaces have no perceived effect on some. If you don’t think they will work, then of course they wont. I have no idea if that’s the case, but’s it makes more sense to me than acid magically comes out when ever so slightly warmed.

Like I said, however they work, they work. If you have any more evidence or suggestions on how they work, please comment below!

Check out this blog post too.

Full Disclosure

Vegan Babymama is a website, blog, YouTube channel, and various social media owned and operated by myself, Samantha Reddy.

My purpose is to promote lifestyle choices I believe in. This includes, but is not limited to, veganism, babywearing, breastfeeding, gentle parenting, natural parenting, allergy awareness, and natural childbirth. My intent is inform others of these ideas—never to judge those who do not /cannot follow these ideas.

The opinions expressed through Vegan Babymams are solely my own and are my true beliefs. If I promote or support a product or brand, it is because I truly believe in it and it helps promote my lifestyle ideals.

I am a brand ambassador for Wraspody Baby, Soul Slings, and Smitten Wraps currently. I support them of my own free will because I like the products and business practices. They pay me in products. I have reviewed/tested for other companies of my own free will and received no compensation.

I have also worked for Mommycon and plan to do so again if the opportunity arises. I am trained in babywearing from the Center for Babywearing Studies and Babywaring International. I promote these organizations of my own free will as well.

Other promotions are also done of my own free will and are only products I personally like and use.

I promise to give honest opinions and review of all products. If I feel the product is problematic or unsafe, I will not review it but provide that feedback to manufacturer.
Please contact me with any questions. Thank you.

Newborn Wrap Strap Meh Dai Legs-Out

I am in love with a Wrap Strap Meh Dai for a newborn. So easy and so supportive!

Here is how I like to do it. I cinch in the base of the panel with a string (make sure you carrier is approved for this first, a simple email to the manufacturer will answer this question). I also spread the passes wide to close up the sides and support baby with no torso control.

Check it out!

Toddlerwearing: Best Seat

You finally made it to toddlerhood! They are (hopefully) sleeping through the night, feeding themselves, and saying good-bye to diapers. But this newfound independence may make wearing a challenge. Having to chase them into the carrier. Hair pulling or being smacked with random toys. Or seat popping in protest of leaving the park. A whole new set of challenges in wearing now.

Toddler in arms, supported knee-to-knee under his bottom.

The basic safety rules of babywearing still apply. The carrier should mimic how you would hold your toddler in your arms. Still high and tight—low and loose would start killing your back after a short while. High and tight on your body helps distribute their weight more evenly across your whole torso. Low and loose puts all the strain on your lower back. You would never (willingly) hold your toddler like that, it just wouldn’t be comfortable for you. Your toddler’s should also be supported knee to knee, with the carrier coming at least up to their shoulder blades. This mimics the way you would probably hold them, forearm under the bottom and the other arm over their upper back to keep them tight to your body (to keep them from escaping).

14551098_733111410179582_283375935_o — Knee-to-Knee support, carrier supporting up to shoulders.

I’ve heard some wearers say that ring slings are not good for toddlers. The one shoulder carry can start to hurt your back as your child gets heavier, their weight isn’t evenly distributed. I argue that a one shoulder carry could hurt your back at any weight when wearing for long periods. Especially if you do not have the carrier adjusted properly. Personally, I don’t like ring slings for wearing for more than an hour continuously.I wore my newborn for a short hike the other day and my shoulder was hurting towards the end. It’s the design of the carrier, not the weight of the child.

14536828_733111440179579_1982084914_o — One shoulders can be very comfortable short-term when done properly.

I think ring slings (I am using a Wrapsody Jareth) are great carriers for toddlers actually. Prep the carry on your body so you all ready to put them up when needed. If you can catch them, simply open the bottom rail and slide the carrier over their head to get them in the carrier quickly (I call this the trap and secure). You can let them out similarly, loosen the bottom rail and let them gently slide out (useful for random crying fits that magically stops when they see a cookie). On your hip, they can see forward to appease their curiosity, without totally limiting your range of movement. But they can still tuck their head in for that elusive nap. Ring slings are a simple choice for toddlers. Pull the sling up over their back, then tighten and go! No buckles to reach for or passes to spread.

The key to a successful ring sling with a toddler is good seat. Get a decent amount of fabric between your bodies, this makes it harder for them to pop the seat when they wiggle. Getting the fabric knee to knee will keep your toddler in a spread-squat position, keeping both your and them comfortable.

14572103_733111506846239_1652879603_o — High, tight and secure. Rucks are simply and supportive for toddlers.

I’ve also heard wearers say that a Ruck is a terrible back carry for toddler (I am using a Wrapsody Stretch-Hybrid Nammy O/S). The single layer pass isn’t supportive enough for all the toddler wiggles and the seat can easily be popped as they bounce around. I argue that any carry, multilayered or not, can be popped if your kiddo tries hard enough.

14585723_733111540179569_1336841352_o — Even though he is a major seat popper, this properly secured seat stayed in place.

A ruck is very supportive at any weight if you get a nice deep seat. It mimics the way you might hold your toddler on your back, both arms under their bottom. Most toddlers have great torso control and don’t need an arm to hold them upright, just a place to sit their bottoms and secure their legs.

1427429433111433512913_103788445_o — Knee-to-knee with the bunch passes pinning it in place. Close to unpoppable.

The key to a good Ruck is a supportive seat. There has been some discussion about whether a seat needs to be deep or just knee-to-knee. My personal experience is that both matter. A good amount of fabric between you and the wigglemonster will make it harder to keep the seat from popping. And knee-to-knee support will more evenly distribute your toddler weight across your body, making it more comfortable for you.

Enjoy those toddler wrap snuggles while you can! They may act all big, but they are till your babies who need you once and awhile!

Newborn K’Tan

Baby K’Tan are baby wraps without the wrapping. A carrier that gives you an easy Pocket Wrap Cross Carry without all the work. A great beginner carrier. I teach them often and recommend for people who struggle with wrapping.

The instructions provided with the carrier are great and easy to follow. However, it’s not how I like to teach using this carrier. My method is not too different or unique really. Just simply different way.

Hyperemesis and Preterm Labor

This stubborn little child. He had his own agenda from the day he was conceived. I dreamed a pretty easy pregnancy like with Jack. Some nausea, acid reflux, and low blood pressure issues again. But nothing too crazy. I also wanted a very active pregnancy this time. I wanted to hike everyday with Jack and get my body as strong as possible. I envisioned going into labor on a trail somewhere….

…but nope. It started with bad hyperemesis right away. Followed by a stomach bug. Then migraines. Then worse hyperemesis. Then a UTI. Then even worse hyperemesis. Then vaginosis. Then the irritable uterus started up. Even worse hyperemesis. Horrible allergic reaction. Pulled a groin muscle and couldn’t walk. And then the throwing up acid at night from the worst acid reflux in my life.

By the time I went to my 35 week midwife appointment, my body was exhausted. I was happy to have made it so far with a very healthy baby—my rainbow baby. My midwife asked how I was doing, I answered “I am coughing up acid at night, I’m having a TON of Braxton-Hicks, I can’t eat much food because everything is so squished, I feel faint because I can’t eat or drink enough, and I can’t sleep at night. But overall, good.” She nodded, she knew I was exhausted. Then she said the good news—she did not believe I would go to my due date and I just had to deal with a few more weeks. This was Monday. After that Saturday, I would be 36 weeks, the legal gestational age to give birth in a birthing center in Oregon. I went home and planned on just sitting around relaxing until my appointment next week.

That Thursday, Jack had a playdate at a nearby park. Towards the end I got really tired. So we said goodbye a few minutes early and left. A few minutes later, it happened…

The worst thing that happened my whole pregnancy so far. I puked ALL over my car. Projectile vomited without warning when I stopped at a stop sign. And continued for 30 seconds. I couldn’t open the door or window, it just kept coming. When I finally stopped, a car had pulled up behind me so I had to go. Jack started laughing hysterically, “Mommy threw up! Mommy you are so silly!” I started crying and called my mom over the car speaker. I told her I was pulling up right now and I needed her help. I puked all over my car.

She sent me inside and told me to get cleaned up. She put Jack inside and cleaned my car. I showered and laid down in bed. I kept throwing up every 30 minutes or so. I couldn’t keep anything down. A few hours later, I called my midwife. She told me to come up to be rehydrated. Michael picked me up and my mom watched Jack.

I threw up again when we got there. I was so dehydrated they once again couldn’t get a vein on me. The midwives are trained medical professionals, they knew what to do. But I am a hard stick even hydrated. So they started a rectal IV. But it started to kick up my Braxton-Hicks into real contractions so they quickly stopped it. I threw up several more times and was started to get very upset.

At the birth center, starting to get very worried.

My midwife talked with the other midwives, and they decided it was time to transfer me to a hospital. I was still 35 weeks so I could not give birth there if it was the real deal. And if it was just dehydration, I needed IV fluids quickly to stop preterm labor. I was scared, but I understood.

A little while later I was in a wheelchair in Labor and Delivery at OHSU. As they took me to triage, I looked into all the delivery rooms and started to panic a little. This was not what I wanted. Why are you doing this to us, Bear? We could be at a wonderful birthing center of you could just wait a week or so!

Then I threw-up again and I knew this where we needed to be. My body needed helped. The nurse saw all needle pokes on my arms from the birth center and knew right away she needed to get the most experienced nurse possible. She brought in a 20+ year NICU/OB nurse who can get veins on 1 lbs premature babies. It still took her 3 tries. I really am that hard of a stick.

I was so happy once I could feel the fluid in my veins. They quickly gave me a Zofran shot and a Reglan shot for nausea. Then the OB came in. She checked my cervix , I was 3 cm. I was 1 at the birthing center three hours ago so this worried me. She also did a quick ultrasound, she said baby looked great, but was totally head down and engaged. She said they would not stop my labor if I continued to progress, but she hoped it would stop on its own once in hydrated. For that reason, the doctor suggested a Betamethasone shot. It is a steroid that helps develop baby’s lungs quickly. She explained all her reasons and the possible side effects, which I greatly appreciated. I felt very very respected and greatly appreciated her taking the time to inform me. As a result, I was not upset when they admitted me for the night for monitoring and continued fluids.

I threw up a few more times, so they gave me more medicine. Also, she added some acid reflux medicine because all that puking was triggering a major reflux attack. And this whole time I was having consistent, steady contractions. But they didn’t hurt, felt slightly stronger than the Braxton-Hicks/cramps I’ve had since 20 weeks. Then they gave me some medicine to help me sleep and I was out! Like didn’t even notice the nurse coming in a few hours later to change my IV bag and take my vitals kind of out.

The doctor woke me up at 6 AM before her shift ended to check me again. I hoped it was all good and I could leave in a few hours…but nope. My stubborn, stubborn child had other plans. I lost a huge chunk of my mucus plug overnight. And I dilated another centimeter and thinned out a tiny bit more. So I needed to stay for at least a few more hours and probably the night again. Good news was the doctor decided this was probably not a stomach virus or true labor. It was probably just my hyperemesis causing dehydration contractions (if you can call that good news). Actual good news was I hadn’t thrown up for several hours and I wanted breakfast! And I eat my entire breakfast and kept it down! Same with my lunch and dinner. I had horrible acid reflux and it took several medications to keep the acid from creeping up though. But I will take that over projectile vomiting any day.

A new OB checked me shortly before dinner and had more good news. I had not progressed, and my contractions had slowed and spaced out. They took me off the monitor and gave me instructions to let them know immediately if my contractions got worse. And they stopped my IV and told me to drink all that I could to stay hydrated. But, they wanted to keep me one more night just to be safe and give me the second dose of steroid shot for his lungs. My body was still exhausted so I didn’t argue. Everyone had treated me with such respect and honesty that I would not be upset if I had to deliver there. A much different hospital experience than with Jack.

They gave me more medicine to sleep and I was knocked out again. In the morning I got the best news, no more progression or change in contractions, so I was going home! She said I was really not likely to make it to my due date, but I would be more comfortable waiting for labor at home if I am not actively progressing. It was Saturday now, I was 36 weeks. So I asked if I could still deliver at my birth center birth like I planned. Without hesitation she said yes! As long as I listen to my midwife and no other complications arise, there was no reason why I couldn’t. I was so happy!

They released me quickly and we stopped for lunch on the way home (which I ate and kept down!). Jack was so happy to see us. He jumped on my lap and snuggled with me on the couch watching TV for a long time. This whole pregnancy was hard on him, too.

I planned on laying around for the next week or so, giving Bear a bit more time to cook. But he had other plans. Check out my next post for his birth story.

Pregnancy Babywearing: Pirate Carry with a Candy Cane Chest Belt

Another carry for my Pregnancy Babywearing Series. A Pirate Carry with a Candy Cane Chest Belt. This is formerly called a RRRR (Reinforced Rear Rebozo Ruck). I encourage you to take the time to learn about the movement to take back the word Rebozo in the babywearing community. This wonderful graphic explains it all:

I love this carry for hiking in general, especially while pregnant. It’s done with a shorter wrap (base -3), so less layers. You stay cooler and more comfortable. No waist belt, so no bump pressure. And the Candy Cane Chest Belt looks fancy, and doesn’t put pressure on your sensitive breasts. The added leg pass also keeps seat-popping toddlers in place!

Why A Birth Center and Midwife

I want to be clear first: I think modern medicine and hospitals are awesome. Seriously, they have been my good friend this pregnancy. Rehydrated me 6 times now due to hyperemesis. My son bashed his chin open a few weeks ago and the wonderful local children’s hospital glued him back together. I had repeated tonsillitis and ear infections (so bad it was damaging my immune system) in college, my amazing ENT took out my tonsils and my hospital took great care of me afterwards. Seriously, wonderful and totally awesome when you need that kind of treatment. But I don’t view a pregnancy with no major complications as a something that needs that kind of treatment.

_DSC7592 — Jack was a few hours old, both of us doing good.

Jack’s birth was good. Nothing horrible happened and we were both given reasonable care. It was very standard Medical Model of Care. They followed protocol and did all they could to ensure we both were healthy and alive. I gave birth in a very busy county hospital, so some resources took longer to get. But when they did come, they tried hard to give us good care with the limited time they had. Overall, I say it was just good.

However, now that I am more educated on birth, I want better than good. I want my requests respected (within reason). I want the Midwife Model of Care this time. In a nutshell, the Midwife Model of Care believes that birth is a natural process that your body already knows how to do on its own. You just need a little guidance and enough time to relax to do it. There is still medical care offered—a midwife doesn’t just leave you alone for 40 weeks and only show up if you have a problem in labor. Standard procedures like blood tests, ultrasounds, and exams are offered. The key difference is you build a closer relationship with your midwife, so you feel comfort and trust her during the birth process.

That last part was what drew me to midwife the most. My OB with Jack was not the person who delivered him. I adored her and wish she had delivered him, but that’s not how my clinic worked. The on-call OB at the hospital at the time delivered Jack. I had no idea anything about her, only her name and that she was a doctor. I didn’t know her stance on natural childbirth practices, c-section rate, or anything else. And I had no choice but to just trust this random woman when I was the most vulnerable. It was worked out okay, but it’s not something I want to do again. There are a few things I want to avoid now that I know better.

First of all, when I got to the hospital, they did not believe me that my water actually broke. The triage nurse looked at me like I was lying…despite the fact that I was carrying a SOAKED towel between my legs. She left me standing next to the bed leaking and gave me no instructions. I had a contraction, so I leaned over the bed and set my towel on the tray. She came back in and freaked out! Threw the towel at my husband and said NO NO NO! She immediately got cleaning supplies and sanitized everything again…leaving me hunched over wanting to cry from the contraction and still no instructions. Then she left again. I just grabbed the gown on the bed, got undressed, and laid down. She came back in and asked if I was having contractions. I looked at her crazy and said yes. I told her they were 2 minutes apart and 90 seconds long. She kinda rolled her eyes. She hooked me up and looked very surprised to see I was right. Then she asked for a urine sample. I told her I did not have to pee and really needed to lay down because my contractions were coming faster. She said I had to, they needed a urine sample to admit me. So Michael helped me hobble to the bathroom. I tried, but only got a big gush of fluid. I came out and told the nurse I couldn’t. She took the cup and said fine, she will check to see if it’s actually amniotic fluid. Then she announced it indeed amniotic fluid and without saying anything else really, she checked me. I was 2 cm. I was kinda bothered that she didn’t ask first, but it got me away from her faster so I didn’t argue. She left without saying anything again and came back close to an hour later. At this point, I was starting to transition. I couldn’t talk during my contractions and was started to shake. While Michael was asking if I wanted him to sign the epidural form just in case, I started to vomit. The nurse once again couldn’t believe it so she checked me again, I was close to 5 cm. They quickly took me to my room and I was so happy to be away from that nurse. Looking back, I can understand her attitude. She had to follow the Medical Model of Care and I was not following the procedure she was set to do. I didn’t come in as a women not sure if she was in labor who had the time wait as she checked all the boxes. That being said, she did have poor bedside manner.

In my room, I was progressing so fast and was exhausted. I knew I needed an epidural to relax. They needed my blood work results before the anesthesiologist could come. One nurse really fought for me. She put a STAT order on my blood work and refreshed the screen every 5 minutes to check. Then once the results came, she called the anesthesiologist immediately. She held me while the needle went in and stroked my hair when I had contraction at the same time. So, I know nurses can be very amazing and really help you when you need it.

Would you keep telling this face they need to flip on their back?

However, there were some other issues. She and another nurse kept insisting that I had lay on my back for continuous monitoring. I physically couldn’t. That made contractions unbearable. Plus, I knew on your back is the worst position possible for labor progression. And continuous monitoring is unnecessary if there are no complications. I did go onto my back for a bit every hour or so to check if Jack was still okay, but flipped back on my side once they said it was good. I finally asked if there a major reason why and they said no, just protocol. Then they backed off. Once again, they didn’t do anything bad really. They had a system to follow, but my body’s needs didn’t fit into it.

Taken the day I posted this. The red mark is permanent. It should have been our consent to give it to him.

I pushed for 1.5 hours and Jack was stuck with his 1 head inch out. The doctor stuck an external probe on Jack’s head to check his vitals since he had been in there so long. No one said anything to Michael and I, just told me to stop pushing for a second. At the time I didn’t really realize what she was doing. He was fine so she told me to push again. In general, I have no objection to having this done. He was stuck for awhile and it was important that she made sure he wasn’t in distress. But, it left a scar on Jack’s forehead. If anyone was going to make the choice to permanently mark our child, it should have been ours. I would have totally understood if they said “I’m going to stick this on his head to check his vitals, okay?” It was not an emergency situation, no one was rushing, they did have time to ask. I resent the lack of communication and consent, not the actual procedure.

About this time is when I saw what the IV bag said... — About this time is when I saw what the IV bag said…

After Jack finally came out, they plopped him on my chest and encouraged me to nurse him. I vaguely remember them saying my placenta came out intact and no excessive bleeding. I thought yeah yeah, I’m trying to feed my child. Then I looked up at my IV and saw the bag said Pitocin. I really wanted to get mad. I said out loud and in my birth plan that I did not want Pitocin unless it was truly necessary. They started a bag to get my placenta out quickly and never mentioned it to me. They gave me a medication I did not consent to. If they said something like, “We would like to start Pitocin right now to get your placenta out quickly because we need to make sure you are okay before the doctor has to leave for the next delivery”, I would have totally understood and said okay. I know this is standard Medical Model of Care, but I resent not being informed of what was happening to my own body.

I was one EXHAUSTED and stressed mama, don't let the smile fool you. — I was one EXHAUSTED and stressed mama, don’t let the smile fool you.

I also hated my hospital stay. The nurses were all super busy because the ward was full. Many of my questions and requests barely got answered. Also, being woken up to be checked every few hours stressed me out beyond all belief. I was exhausted and the hospital was not restful. The second night there, Michael went to sleep in the car because he was so exhausted and had to drive us home the next day. I was alone in the room with screaming Jack and so exhausted I couldn’t even think straight. I burst into tears and was shaking. The nurse came in and said I just needed to sleep. I explained that I can’t because he won’t calm down, and you are going to come back in shortly to check us. She just shrugged and left. I know there was nothing she could do, that was not her role and she was just following the Medical Model of Care once again. But it was stressful and hard for me in that moment. It made me feel like I was already a horrible mother.

This time around, I know what I want in my birth experience. And unless there is an emergency, I don’t want the Medical Model of Care. There are women who truly need this type of care all along (my friend who has Sickle-Cell Anemia and fought infections most of her pregnancy definitely did). So, it is wonderful this type of care exists. However, I want something different this time. I want a connection with the person I am trusting to touch me when I am the most vulnerable and help bring my child into the world. I want her to know right off the top of her head that I do not want Pitocin. I want to labor on my side without question and not have to argue for occasional monitoring. And I want to recover in a relaxed, comfortable setting with my husband and newborn. I want my provider to believe me when I say something is happening. With the Midwife Model of Care at a birthing center, I get all this. They are not crazy things to ask for at all. I want to be respected, informed, and comfortable. All medical patients deserve this, especially women who just giving birth.

I really suggest you check out Birth Without Fear. It really changed my views on birth and helped me process some of the issues I had with Jack’s birth.