samanthareddy87

Almost Knotless Ruck Carry

What do you do when your baby is cranky from teething and you want to try a new carry? Put on some music and have some fun! This a knotless ruck carry using a size 4 Girasol Tahoe, but I did one more bunched pass to get the one long tail out of the way. The song is “Girl In A Country Song” by Maddie & Tae. Warning, white girl dancing!

If you have questions about babywearing, please go check out my links section and contact a babywearing educator.

Baby-Led Weaning Essentials

Jack has been eating solids now for 6 months (and still nursing like crazy too). He is a very adventurous eater, willing to try almost anything. He has clear favorites (cheese, chicken nuggets, blackberries and noodles soup). And clear dislikes (tofu, peaches, oatmeal, and bananas). Well atleast for this week, it changes all the time. For a good month he LOVES oatmeal. Now he gets mad if I even suggest it.

Some days he eats me out of house and home. Seriously, one day I had run to the store to by him snacks because he signing “eat” and I had nothing to give him! Some days he only wants breast milk and refuses anything I give him. But, most days he likes one big meal (usually lunch) and just snacks the rest of the day.

Here is a list of items I found crucial for our baby-led weaning success. Nothing too complicated, but the right stuff makes it easier on you and your baby.

Essential Baby-Led Weaning Products:

Simple High Chair—I can’t stress the simple part enough. You want a very basic high chair that comes apart easily to clean. Your baby is going to make a big mess for awhile and it is a pain to clean one of those big fancy high chairs. We had a second-hand one that was very nice, but it was so hard to keep clean. I felt like I was washing the entire thing 3 times a day and Michael still had to go hose it off outside once a week. Even with it being free, it was not worth the effort. We bought a Summer Infant Deluxe Comfort Booster for Thanksgiving at a relative’s house and instantly saw how much easier it was to use. No crevasses for food to hide and no fabric to get dirty. Just wash the tray in the sink and give the rest a quick wipe down after each meal. And I stick it in the shower once a week for a deeper clean. Plus it’s portable, and can sit on the floor if you want to have a living room picnic. Don’t waste your money (or effort) on a big high chair.

Silicon Mat—Most restaurants have a high chair you can use (note it’s a simple one, they know cleaning a big one is not worth it!), but your baby needs something to eat on. A plate is too distracting for most babies for quite awhile. Jack is 11-months and still gets overwhelmed with a plate and plays with it instead of eating. And who knows how clean that table actually is or if your baby are going to make a giant mess. Get a reusable, washable silicon mat they can eat off of safely and safe you the hassle of clean-up. I got a Kiddopotamus Tinydiner Placemat and it works great. I leave it in the diaper bag rolled up, stick it to the table when we go out. Jack can focus on his food and I don’t have to clean up a giant table mess afterwards. I just wipe it off at the restaurant, and wash it when I get home.

Good Spoons—I bought this little dinky colorful spoon thinking Jack will only take little bites and smaller will help him until he gets more dexterity. Wrong. They are too small for him to scoop up anything, and not long enough for him to turn around to get into his mouth. It didn’t take too long for me to realize he hated them. He would try, then struggle too much, and throw it. Then reach for my spoon or fork. When I did give him mine, he did pretty well with it. Then we bought him these bigger and wider Borja spoons from Ikea and it was a whole new ball game. He can actually use utensils now and even asks for them. He’s bad at it still, but it’s a big improvement. Bigger is better in this case, for sure.

Reusable Pouches-— The few times I tried to feed Jack purees, he was not having it. He is totally cool with me handing him pre-loaded spoons of soup, stew, oatmeal, rice & etc. But once and awhile I want him to have a few more fruits and veggies, so I tried purees. He would smack the spoon away from me. I don’t know if it the texture or what, but he refuses. I’ve tried a several flavor combinations, no-go each time. But one day when I was in line at Starbucks, he pointed a squeeze pouch and signed “give me”. So I bought him it, beet and berry flavor. He INHALED it. Light bulb! So I ordered some Squooshi pouches off Amazon because they had good reviews. They are a HUGE hit. He will inhale anything I put in them. He especially loves greek yogurt and pineapple puree. They are easy to fill, easy to wash (right in the dishwasher) and a great price. Right now Jack is sick with a sore throat and only wants soft food, so he’s loving his Squooshis. When he wants one he points at the drawer where I keep them!

Otherwise all you need is good food, some patience,and camera to capture all those cute messy faces! I hope these suggestions help your baby on their weaning journey. Comment with your own too!

Pre-tied Back Carries With Four Variations

After watching my last babywearing video, I was not that happy. It wasn’t me… I’m not a stand there and give instructions kind of person. I am not trying to be a babywearing educator, I’m just trying to show people the fun of babywearing. I decided to take a new approach with my videos. I am just going to demonstrate how I like to do carries and add some fun music. That’s more my style, doing rather than dictating.

Anyways, this is how I learned to back carries. I struggled with making a seat and spreading the passes because I was worried he would fall. Someone from my local Babywearing International chapter showed me this video and it all started to click for me. This is just how I like to do.

For information on how to do back carries safely, click here.

Thai Peanut Curry

I had a horrible allergy day on Tuesday. I woke up with a horrible headache and my eyes swollen shut. Michael gave me a Benedryl and sent me back to bed while he took care of Jack. I woke up later that day feeling better so Michael went in for a half day. I wanted to make him a nicer dinner to say thank-you for taking care of me, but I wasn’t feeling totally up to slaving in the kitchen. So I turned to a mom’s best friend: the slow cooker. I looked in my fridge and quickly saw I had the right stuff to make a peanut butter curry and just ran with it. I popped everything in, turned it on, and laid down on the couch with Jack. When Michael came home a few hours later, I just made a pot of rice and we had a wonderful dinner. He said it smelled great right when he walked in the door!

Thai Peanut Curry

2 cups frozen veggies
 (I used a carrot, pea, corn, and lima bean mix)
1 red bell pepper, chopped (frozen or fresh)

1  16-ounce package of extra firm tofu, drained and cubed

2 tbs Thai green curry paste

1 cup crunchy peanut butter

1 tsp coconut oil

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/4 inch piece of ginger, peeled and minced

1 tbs soy sauce

3 cups cashew or coconut milk

Optional:

Brown rice

Sriracha

Soy sauce

Crushed peanuts

Ready for this? Place all non-optional ingredients in a slow-cooker, cover and set to high. Cook for 2-3 hours, until the veggies are soft, the tofu is hot, and the sauce thickens to coat everything nicely.

Once it was done, I turned it to warm and made some brown rice. You just serve this roti or another tasty bread too. Then I served a big scoop of the curry over rice. I topped it with a few drops of soy sauce, a good squirt of sriracha, and a tiny dollop more of peanut butter.

Sweet, spicy, and creamy. But not too rich. Jack is a non-vegetable phase, but he loved the sauce over rice. A great family meal to make with little fuss.

Front Wrap Cross Carry Tutorial

I re-did the video since the first once was sooo boring. Just my baby and I having some wrapping fun to the Lilo Stitch soundtrack!

If you have questions about babywearing, please see my links section and contact a babywearing wearing educator.

Dealing With Sleep Regression (AGAIN!)

I knew it was probably coming. I knew it would be worse. I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it. But I just refused to believe it was happening—-again! We were hit with the 9 month sleep regression and hit hard.

The 4-month sleep regression felt like nothing but a distant painful memory. Jack went back to starting the night sleeping on his own and joining us to co-sleep later on. He would sleep 4 hours or so, then a bit of milk and go back down easily for 3 hours. Then more milk and 3 to 4 more hours. He would wake up in my arms all happy and ready to start the day! Not sleeping through the night, but there were no battles. He napped just fine during the day, even alone in his crib sometimes (but mostly on the couch with me. Totally doable. Two glorious months of reasonable sleep. Six to eight months seemed so easy.

He fought his nap SO hard, you’d thought I was torturing him!

Then around 9 months it began to unravel, again. Just like with the first regression naps went first. He began to fight them and only sleep for 45 minutes at a time. I knew this was the first sign of a regression, but tried to ignore it. He cut his first tooth about this time so I just blamed it on teething.

I instagramed this one night, so frustrated. This was the only way he would stay sleep!

Then it began to cascade out of control. He would wake up after 30 minutes of being set down in the crib. Then take hours to get back down. Then wake up every 2-hours on the dot screaming for milk. Then he wanted nothing to do with the crib. He would popped right up—even from a dead sleep— and scream the minute we set him down. I accepted it was another regression and did what we did last time—just push through and change nothing. We put up with this for 2 weeks. That’s 14 days of no one in the house sleeping well. Everyone was cranky and tired all the time. I felt like a bad mom because I was too exhausted to do much. Some days all we did was lay around in our PJs. I realized ignoring it was not working and looked for another method.

download — I read it while he slept on me napping for the next two days.

I researched and asked around. I found the standard answers of cry-it-out and he needs to be night weaned. I knew both were not for us at all. Also several books to read, but none of them were anything new to me. Then during a La Leche League meeting, someone suggested The No-Cry Sleep Solution. I had never heard of it, but everyone who tried it said to helped them a lot. I borrowed the book from the lending library and started reading right away. I finished the book in two days and it instantly clicked.

This method takes time, understanding, and a lot of patience. First you need to understand why this is happening. Jack went through a big physical growth spurt and mental leap during this time. He got teeth (which hurts on its own) so he can eat all this new yummy foods. He learned to crawl, cruise and stand back to back. He said his first words and understands basic commands now. He’s more observant and is learning new things every day. That’s a lot for a tiny, no wonder he’s having a hard time shutting of his brain to sleep!

So, The No-Cry Sleep Solution consists of logging your baby’s sleep patterns for 10 days, analyze them, and making some suggested changes to the sleep routine. Then you start over for another 10 days. And repeat until you get a routine that works for your baby. When I first saw that you need to log for 10 day I want to cry. It would take forever to get some sleep! But I figured what do I have to lose? So I started it.

The minute I sat down on the couch to relax….

The first 10-day log confirmed everything I knew already. Jack was waking up shortly after being set down, his longest stretch was two hours and he was taking a long time to fall asleep. I did some suggestions from the book and did another 10-day log. We moved bedtime up to 8 PM, which means we started our routine between 7:00 to 7:30. We kept everything calm and stress-free. If he was too cranky, we skipped steps and got him to bed quickly. I added a lotion massage before pajamas. And we tried storytime and nursing to sleep in his room, so he didn’t get distract by the TV.

But moma, your arms are so much more comfy. I don’t care that it’ 11 and you’re tired!

After another 10-days, things got a little better. It was taking less time for him to fall asleep and he was sleeping for longer stretches. But he was still waking up as soon as we set him down. Then it would takes over an hour to get him to stay down in the crib. And usually we gave up and brought him to the bed (because it took so long it was our bedtime). It was frustrating because we had no time to just relax at night. We changed a few more things and tried again. We added lullaby music to act as white noise and turned the space heater on in his room to keep it warm enough.

Five days later and I noticed a clear pattern that was making his naps better. He stayed asleep and slept better when if he napped in our bed (like I when I was exhausted and took a nap too). And he napped better when the white noise I had on was a TV or Netflix. It became clear to me what Jack needed to fall asleep. He didn’t want to be alone! He wanted to feel, hear, and smell that mommy and daddy were nearby. Its a survival instinct, safety in numbers. Not a bad habit or something I need to let him cry to get over. Just normal human behavior.

Finally can snuggle with my husband on the couch at night!

I talked to Michael about letting him co-sleep all the time. Michael agreed if it meant we all got more sleep. So, for the rest of the 5 days in the log we put him down in our bed and skipped the crib. Big improvement right away. I also started leaving the tablet playing Netflix on in the background when I wasn’t in the room so it didn’t sound like he was alone. Now I can actually spend a little time with my husband at night and baby gets sleep.

While we finally found a new routine that works for Jack’s new active brain, it’s not still not perfect. And I don’t expect it to be at this age. He still wakes about 2 times a night to nurse. But he goes back down easily and is sleeping longer. And yes, we still have bad nights. Like growth spurts and teething. He will wake up every hour crying and demanding milk. But it’s not every night anymore and I can handle it better now. The past three nights he’s been cutting a tooth (I swear he is the slowest teether ever) and it’s been rough. I’m very tired, but I know it will pass. Last week he actually slept through the night a few times. I wish I had read this book when he was born, I would have done this gentle and helpful method from the start. I really suggest this book if you are struggling with your baby sleeping too.

Spaghetti and Beanballs

My husband and son love my meatball recipe. When I make them, I often just have some roasted mushrooms or buy frozen vegan meatballs. But last night I decided to make my own—same recipe as the ones I make the boys, just minus the meat. I wanted to use lentils, but couldn’t find any in my pantry. I did find pink beans so went with those. Pink beans look like small pink kidney beans, but taste closer to pinto beans. They are very popular in Caribbean cooking. I bought a bag awhile ago to make a Caribbean dish and forgot about them.

Also, I always make my own pasta sauce. I like knowing what’s in it for sure, and that it’s not loaded with sodium. This is just a basic recipe, feel free to doctor it up as you like. Or use a jar of your favorite sauce, too.

This recipe makes 5-6 servings.

Spaghetti and Beanballs

1 bag of pink beans
Olive oil

1 clove of garlic, minced

1/2 tsp red pepper flakes

28 ounce can of tomato puree

14.5 can of diced tomatoes

2 cups water

1/4 tsp Italian seasoning

12 tsp garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

1 tbs olive oil

1/2 cup nutritional yeast

1/2 cup panko bread crumbs

1 tsp ground sage

1/2 tsp fennel seeds

1/2 cup water, as needed

Salt and pepper to taste

A bag of your favorite pasta

Soak your pink beans in cold water overnight if possible, they will cook a lot faster.

Place your soaked beans in large pot filled with enough water to cover them with an inch of water. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Cook as long as directions on the package say (mine took about 45 minutes). Add more water as needed. Cook until they are soft but not mushy. Drain well and set aside.

While those are cooking, you can work on the sauce…

In a large pot, heat some olive oil over medium heat.

Add the minced garlic and red pepper flakes. Cook for a minute or two, until the garlic is fragrant.

Add the tomato puree, diced tomatoes, water, Italian seasoning, and garlic powder. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer.

Cook for a half an hour, then season with salt and pepper as desired.

Remove from heat and set aside for now.

While the sauce is cooking you can start on the beanballs (assuming your beans are cooked now)….

In a large bowl, mash up the beans. Leave a few chunks for texture.

Add the oil, nutritional yeast, bread crumbs, Italian seasoning, sage, and fennel. Then season with salt and pepper as desired.

Add a little water at a time to help it all come together. You want it to still be soft, but be able to hold shape.

So you could make them into balls and pan-fry them in olive oil until they are golden on the outside. That was my original plan until I realized all my burners were being used (I was making lemonade at the same time as this).

I oiled up a ceramic pan and made them into little mounds. Then I baked them at 400 degrees for 10 minutes, and broiled on low for 3 minutes.

Then I scooped them out with an ice ice cream scoop to keep the ball shape.

Lastly, cook your pasta according the directions on the package (I did this while beanballs cooked).

Add your pasta to the sauce and toss together well.

Plate up the pasta, top with some beanballs, top with your favorite vegan cheese, and enjoy!

The fennel and sage really give the balls that sausage meatball kind of taste. Pair with a nice salad and you have a satisfying complete meal.

This recipe makes a lot of beanballs. You can freeze them or cut the recipe in half, too.

Broccoli and Parsnip Risotto

I don’t really have a cute story to go with this recipe. I had orzo pasta, broccoli, and parsnips. I thought a creamy pasta dish with some crisp vegetables would be nice for lunch. Yeah…that’s about it.

One ladle at a time…

I love risotto, but hate that it’s usually loaded with a ton of cheese, cream, and butter. Too rich and heavy. I like creamy without all that junk. My recipe only has a bit of vegan cheese and some olive oil–just it’s still rich and creamy. Also, I don’t love that it takes an hour to make well. And you can’t rush it, just be patience.

“This is taking forever, I’m hungry!”

Jack didn’t like that either, he had to go up in a back carry to keep him happy. However, he was more than happy to eat it!

Broccoli and Parsnip Risotto
6 cups vegetable broth (or you can do like I did, 5 cups water with 1 cup of pureed vegetable baby food)
2 tbs olive oil, divided
1/2 large onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 large parsnips, chopped
1 head of broccoli, chopped
1 cup orzo
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1/2 cup vegan mozzarella cheese
Salt and pepper, to taste

In a large pot, bring the vegetable to a simmer over medium-low heat.

In a skillet over medium-high heat, heat one tablespoon of olive oil. Add the chopped onion and cook until translucent.

Add the parsnips and cook until tender.

Add the garlic and broccoli, took until the broccoli is tender.

Heat the remaining olive oil in a another large skillet over medium heat.

Add the orzo and brown the pasta lightly. Stir continuously to prevent burning. It’s okay if some pieces are darker than others.

Once orzo is all lightly browned, reduce heat to medium-low. Then add one ladle of hot broth to the pot, stir continuously until it is all absorbed.

Repeat adding one ladle of broth at a time and stirring until it is all absorbed until the pasta is tender and the broth no longer absorbs easily. This will take around an hour to complete. Don’t rush it by turning up the heat or adding more than one ladleful.

Before you add your last ladle or so, add the broccoli and parsnips to the skillet.

Once the pasta is tender, remove from the heat and stir in the nutritional yeast.

Top with the mozzarella and enjoy!

Creamy, filling, and loaded with veggies. Your patience has been rewarded!

Our Babywearing Journey So Far

Hello, my name is Samantha and I am addicted to babywearing. I don’t even know how it ended up like this! Searching swap sites all night long looking for my dream wrap, youtubing videos for new carriers to try, and debating in my head all day about Tula vs. Ergo! All this started with not wanting to be one of those annoying moms with a giant stroller taking up half the sidewalk. I had no idea the world of babywearing would be so engulfing!

Before I got into babywearing, I had seen of Baby Bjorns and other narrow base carriers. I heard they are a pain to get on and can hurt your back after a while. So, I didn’t think too much of them. Then one day on Pinterest I saw a pin about how babywearing places your baby’s spine and legs in a good position. I did more research and decided to get a carrier for Jack.

3 days old.I hated the carrier, but loved wearing him.

I bought an Infantino Swift Carrier and tried it the first day Jack came home from the hospital. I had no idea what I was doing! We went for a walk around the block and Jack was out like a light. I didn’t know all the rules of babywearing yet, but I could tell it wasn’t right for us. He wasn’t high enough, I didn’t like his leg position, and it hurt my back. Plus it was INSANELY hard to put on and off by myself (Michael and my dad had to help me). The only plus was he liked being so close to me and he went to sleep easily.

So much fabric!

So, I looked up other carriers and stretchy wraps came up right away for newborns. I settled on a Boba Wrap (mainly because of the price). Thanks to Amazon Prime, it came the next day! I was so overwhelmed by the amount of fabric at first. I didn’t think I could get the wrap right.

It was love at first wrap.

However, once I just went for it and got more practice, I really liked it. Jack also didn’t like it at first, but, that was my fault. It took me a bit to get the “froggy” leg position right. Once I got it right, he loved it. We went for daily walks to help me recover from childbirth while he calmly slept on my chest.

He kept turning his head out of the sun every walk.

The Boba wrap gets pretty hot. It’s thick fabric that wraps around you and the baby three times. It gets pretty hot in San Jose in the summer. Just a few minutes in the sun, even in the shade, Jack and I get pretty sweaty. It was a great introduction to wrapping, but I needed something else.

So I did some research on babywearing in the summer and discovered that woven wraps are a lot lighter. I found BabyWearing International Bay Area website and saw my local meeting was the next day! One of the leaders let me try her woven wrap and I instantly fell in love! It was light and cool. Also less stretchy so Jack felt very secure against me. And it was so beautiful! My babywearing friend phrased it best, ” We show our children beautiful arts, why not wrap them in it?”

My first love. This will be my legacy wrap.

I ordered a wrap that night. I was amazed by all the beautiful colors and patterns they come in! I spent hours trying to decided what to get. I finally settled on a Girasol Tahoe Exclusive from Woven Wraps. I loved the idea of wrapping my son in the colors of a something so naturally beautiful.

Tahoe wrap at Lake Tahoe!

I didn’t know about sizing so I got a 4. Later I found out most people get a size 6 or bigger so they have extra fabric to work with as they learn. But I made it work.

Our first time wrapping on our own. FWCC.

It took me a few tries (Jack got fussy so I had to switch to a stuffed animal). But once I got it, it became pretty easy. We were so much cooler on our walks. And I loved that he was safe, secure—and I was hands free! I could pick a flower or open the front door without any struggles. I started to try other carries too. We began with a Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC), the carry I learned at BWI. It is very easy to do, it just takes some patience.

Took me a bit to get the shoulder flip on a kangaroo carry.

Moved on to a Kangaroo Carry. It’s so snuggly, it’s my favorite for after doctor’s visits.

Rebozo hip carry to pick pumpkins.

Then came the hip carries: Rebozo, Poppin’s and a Robin’s. I love hip carries for when we go to museums or parks when Jack wants to look around, but still be snuggled.

Back Wrap Cross Carry is better with rainbows!

Then I bought another wrap, a longer wrap this time I could do more carries. A Storchwiege Inka. I loved the rainbow colors! I have to admit, it was way easier to do a FWCC with a longer wrap. But, I think I learned how to tighten carries better starting out with the shorter wrap.

“I don’t know why you keep throwing me
on your back, but it’s sure if fun!”

After a few months I attempted back carries and it did not go well. I could not get a good seat! I worked on it everyday for a month! Jack was a good sport, but I was getting so frustrated.

First time he was on my back, just scooted the hip rebozo back.

I saw a Youtube video on you can scoot a hip rebozo to your back if you need your baby out of the way for a bit, and that worked well. But, it wasn’t comfortable for long term wearing for me.

My first pre-tied Half Jordan’s Back Carry, I was SO happy.

So, I reached out for help on BWI of the Bay Area’s facebook group. They all told me to come to the meeting first of all, someone will gladly help me in person. But in the meantime, I could try a pre-tied back carry. It is essentially the same as scooting the rebozo carry to your back, but adding more passes for support. I got it instantly and was so happy. I cleaned my kitchen with my baby on my back that day right away.

I was SO excited to have a good ruck, I took this picture
leaving the meeting right in the middle of Sport Basement!

I continued to do this carry for few more weeks until I got comfortable with doing the passes and such over my back. But, I still couldn’t make a seat on my back so I still went to the meeting. A leader quickly saw that I just needed to reach inside his legs when I pulled the fabric, not on the outside. Once I did that I did my very first Ruck on my own instantly!

Took this about a week ago, he was two seconds
from a meltdown and I rucked him up quickly.

The next month or so I continued to mainly do the pre-tied carry, but practiced putting him on my back normally occasionally. And as of last week I can just toss him easily whenever!

There was no room to wrap him in the busy parking
lot at the Social Security Office, so we did a pre-tie.

I still do the pre-tied when we are in a parking lot or a place without much room for convenience. But I do Rucks and Double Hammocks when I’m going to be wearing him for a long time.

Michael wearing Jack in a Double Hammock with the lovely DOTD wrap.

I’ve bought more wraps too. I have a gorgeous size 6 Lenny Lamb Day of The Dead wrap that I bought off The Babywearing Swap on Facebook. It’s so supportive and soft, I love it so much.

Rebozo in the Little Frog to comfort my sick baby.

And I have a Little Frog Pyrobe in size 3. I love this wrap for quick ups and to make a No Sew Ring Sling. It gets used almost everyday. It’s not quite as supportive as the Lenny Lamb, but it’s still a great wrap.

Poppin’s Hip carries will hurt my shoulder after
a while if I don’t have them tied very tight.

If you follow my food blog, you may recall I was in a car accident 3 years ago and have a permanent back injury as a result. A few carries aggravate it if I wear for long term, but overall it does not hurt my back at all. When tightened and wrapped properly, baby’s weight is evenly distributed and doesn’t not hurt.

Wrapping up for another babywearing adventure!

I can clean my house, go for hikes, go to the store, or calm a sick baby while being wrapped with beauty. You can wear into toddlerhood and even early childhood if you are both comfortable. And you can do tandem wearing when you have another baby!What’s not to love about babywearing? I’m excited to continue this beautiful journey as Jack grows. I will do more babywearing posts in the future. Can’t wait to share our continuing journey!

Advice For My Sister-In-Law

In a few short weeks, Jack is going to have a little cousin to play with! My sister-in-law is expecting her first child, a little girl. They are going to be wonderful parents, and that little princess is going to be very well-loved by the whole family.

When I was buying presents for the baby shower a few months ago, I tried not to buy them frivolous things. Just the stuff that I didn’t even think needing before Jack was born. That got me to thinking about the stuff I wish I would have known before I had a baby. Rather than just lecture her to death over this, I’d thought I’d make a post so she can read it as she needs. And any other mom can share in the advice to.

Advice For My Sister-In-Law:

Labor and Delivery

Childbirth is a pain you cannot compare to anything else. I am not even going to try to explain or compare it. It’s something unique and you need to experience to understand. But the phrase hurts like a mother f**ker doesn’t even begin to explain it. And I had an epidural!
But you will feel like a goddess for doing it. A gross, sweaty, fat, exhausted goddess. But a goddess nonetheless! You created a life! You are superhero!!
Listen to your body. Trust that your body knows how to do this (because it actually does!). If something doesn’t feel right, tell someone. I did not want to lay flat on my back during labor because it didn’t feel right. So, despite the doctor insisting, I stayed on my side because Jack and I were just fine. Later on the pain was different and I wanted to be on my back, suddenly Jack started to crown. My body knew what to do and I am glad I trusted it. This also includes if something doesn’t feel right. Tell your nurse immediately if you even have the slightest bad feeling. Be your own advocate.
Don’t be upset if your birth plan doesn’t work out. All that matters is your baby is healthy. Vaginal unassisted, epidural, induction, planned c-section, emergency c-section—all just semantics. I suggest having a good birth plan so you know how to be your own advocate and can make informed decisions when issue arise. My birth plan went out the window as soon as I was admitted. I just stayed focused on my baby and everything worked out fine.
Bring snacks for your husband. Whether your labor be quick or slow, it will be hours before he can walk away to get food. You are really going to need his support and he is gonna need his strength to do so.
Bring something to pull your hair back. Hair ties, headbands, scarves or whatever. Not only will hair in your face piss you off, it might get in the way of medical procedures. I had to put my hair up for the epidural and when the they put the oxygen mask on my face.
Push like you have to poop. Seriously. Push like you have to take the biggest poop of your life. I did not get pushing until a nurse said this to me two hours later. Save yourself the trouble, do it from the start. And if you actually poop in the process, that’s okay. The doctors and nurses have seen it all before!
If there is not a medical emergency, demand skin to skin contact right away. Pop that baby out and plop it on your chest right away! It is one of the most magical moment in your life. This tiny human that you made will know who are instantly and snuggle up. This time is also important as it helps regular baby’s temperature, breathing, and heart. And encourage the needs to nurse. And if by some chance you can’t do it, have your husband do it. Tell him to take his shirt off and snuggle that baby as soon as possible. Your baby needs that comfort!
Try breastfeeding as soon as possible too. Not that you can’t do it if you don’t try right away, but you will have a higher success rate the soon you try.
No visitors until baby and you are situated in the postpatrum room. Your needs that family bonding time. A visitor will interrupt your skin to skin contact and breastfeeding time. They will want to hold the baby and hog up this vital time. No offensive to them, I know they probably mean well, but this is not their place. The only thing that baby needs is mama and papa for the first hour or two. Everyone else can wait. And if they aren’t respecting this, call security. And I am so not kidding, they need to respect your wishes bottom line. Everyone respected this for me so there was no issue. My mom while Jack (followed by Michael) went to the nursery for testing. She helped me get situated in my postpartum room, which was a really nice bonding experience for us. Once Jack came back to me and we had a few more nursing attempts, then I invited the rest of family to come see.

Hospital Stay Advice

You will probably get little rest at the hospital. Between the nurses come to check on both of you and the baby wanting to nurse all the time, it’s exhausting. But try to rest as much as you can. I regret not sleeping more the first day so much. I was excited to show off my baby to everyone, despite being exhausted. Don’t be afraid to visitors out when you are ready to sleep. Like I said, they need to respect your wishes bottom line. No one was rude and stayed later than I wanted, I just should have asked them to leave sooner.
Going to the bathroom for the first time after birth is scary. Everything hurts down there (and if you had a c-section, the incision hurts when you walk too) and you will probably be exhausted. I’m pretty sure I looked like Bambi walking for the first time, I was so glad the nurse goes with you. The nurse will show you how to wash and clean yourself (especially if you have stitches). Take your time, listen to the instructions, and let them help you. I was still a little numb and needed my nurse to help me do everything.
Don’t be scared by the giant pads and mesh panties. They will probably put them on you right after birth. I was so fixated on Jack that I didn’t even notice. But I was horrified when I saw I was wearing a GIGANTIC pad. I had heard about them but they were way bigger than I Imagined. They are really more like open diapers. But once I saw how much blood had come out of me, it made sense and I got over it. And the mesh panties—they totally do not look like the ones stripper’s wear. They are more like mesh shorts. But they are soooo comfy and easy to put on. I took a few pairs with me when I left and wore them for the next few days until I was less sore and less bloated. Embrace them, they are amazing.
Eat everything you can. Once you relax and your appetite comes back, you are probably going to be starving. Eat all you can! Eat the food the hospital gives you. Demand your family bring you something from your favorite restaurant. Pack plenty of snacks. You just burned as many calories as a climbing a mountain. Stuff your face, you earned it! Plus proper nutrition will help you milk come in.

The Fourth Trimester (The first three months postpartum)

Limit visitors for the first two weeks after birth. This is my biggest regret after Jack was born. Too many came over the first few days and I got very very overwhelmed. I was beyond exhausted and ended up crying after people left one day. And Jack wasn’t happy either. He just wanted to be held by me and nurse, most visits ended with him screaming. It also interfered with us getting nursing down quickly. My advice is after immediate family has their initial meeting, close off visitation for two weeks to give everyone time to settle in.
Do not accept uninvited visitors. It doesn’t matter than Aunt So-and-so happens to be in town and wants to see the baby. It’s not about her! She is a grown up who will get over it and can come see the baby later. If you let her come over, I guarantee other people will think that mean it’s an open invitation for everyone to come whenever. Or they will get mad they didn’t get special treatment and cause drama. Spare yourself, you have enough to worry about. So when Auntie knocks on the door, ignore it.
Require people to either bring food or do a chore for you if they want to see the baby. I read this piece of advice before I gave birth and thought it was rude. How could I ask my guests to do that? After Jack was born I got it. They aren’t guest, you just had a baby and have no reason to play host to them. You are doing them a favor to see the baby, so they should be paying you back for your generosity. When they contact you about coming to visit and you approve a set time, ask them to help you by bringing food. Even if it’s just a loaf of bread or a cake. You will be so happy to eat a big piece of cake when you are nursing the next night at 2 AM. Or, ask them when they show up if they can please throw the load of laundry in the dryer while you nurse the baby first? That way the baby will be content and you will be free to chat instead of running around. Please you shouldn’t be running around, you need to recover. Your visitors should understand that. And if they chose not to come when you ask them this, that person isn’t nice and shouldn’t be around your baby.
Don’t be afraid to kick visitors out. If you are tired, baby needs to nurse, or you are simply just annoyed, tell your visitors good-bye. Thank them for coming and let them wave bye to baby, then kick them out. And if they won’t leave, take the baby into another room and don’t come out until they are gone. It’s not rude, you are doing what is best for your family. It’s rude that they didn’t respect your wishes!
You don’t have to listen to every piece of advice. You are going to get a ton of advice. Some good, some bad. Some wanted, and some very unwanted. Listen to it, and say thanks for sharing. If you like it, give it a try. If not, forget it and never give it a second thought. This includes my advice.
Hold your baby, hold your baby, hold your baby!!! I know I said please to ignore advice you don’t like, but please listen to this one. You cannot spoil a baby this young. Please hold your baby all you want. Your baby only has a few needs the first few months, and your comfort is one of them. Don’t listen to people who say you should let your baby cry it out and learn to not be held. It’s horrible advice, your baby will become very stressed out and not develop properly. I also suggest babywearing, they make some very simple carriers that are easy for anyone to use. Or give woven wraps a try, I love mine.
You are going to get very little sleep. Between all the feedings, diaper changes, and taking care of yourself—sleep will become a luxury. And of course try to sleep when the baby sleeps, but you will probably spend it worrying the baby is breathing.
Breastfeeding is hard. While it is the most natural thing your body can do, it doesn’t come naturally to most women. You will need a lot of time, patience, knowledge, and support to be successful. It might hurt, your baby might gave tongue or lips ties that need to be surgically addressed, or you might have a medical reason interfering. All that being said, breastfeeding will become natural overtime. Now I can nurse Jack anywhere, anytime. I love Jack and I breastfeeding relationship, it’s such a powerful bond.
But don’t give up when it gets hard. But with the proper help, you CAN overcome most issues. It might not be easy and it might not be a quick fix, but keep going. I almost gave up 3 weeks in, but I turned to La Leche League’s website and gained the knowledge to overcome our struggles. Do everything possible. If one thing doesn’t work, try something else. Keep trying, you CAN do it!
Join La Leche League. Or some other breastfeeding support group. You don’t have to struggle alone. Do you know why the official book or La Leche is called “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding”? Because breastfeeding is an art! You need to be taught by someone with experience on how to do it and talk to your peers on how to advance your knowledge. Obstacles will come up that will blindside you, your fellow lactating mothers will talk you through it.
If breastfeeding doesn’t work out, that’s okay too. After you have given it your all and you realize breastfeeding just won’t work for you, it’s okay to switch to formula. Your baby will still thrive. You didn’t’ fail, you just tried something that didn’t work. All that matters is your baby is fed and happy.
Don’t look at the clock or follow a schedule for nursing. “Your baby should nurse 15-20 minutes every 2-3 hours.” THIS IS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF CRAP EVER! Most babies do not nurse like this. Nurse your baby whenever they show you hunger cues (rooting, hand sucking, fussiness) and nurse them as long as they want (and you are comfortable). The best advice I ever got was “Never unlatch a suckling baby”. Who cares if it’s been 45 minutes, your baby needs it. Even if they are not eating that whole time, they are comfort nursing—which is just as important as eating. It stimulates your milk production and comforts your baby. However, if your baby keeps popping off after a minute or two, make sure you at least keep trying to latch your baby for 15 minutes. Likewise, if it’s been more than 4 hours without your baby nursing (like they are sleeping), latch them on and get them fed. There isn’t really a thing as too much nursing, but they can nurse too little. That’s the only time you should watch the clock.
Give yourself time to heal. The first few weeks the only things you should be doing sitting on the couch nursing your baby or laying in bed nursing your baby. Nothing else. Cooking, cleaning, work, etc.—that all can wait. You are gonna be sore ALL over. You are going to be exhausted. You are going to be worried about your baby constantly. Just sit down, hold your baby, and rest.
Don’t worry about losing the baby weight quickly. Odds are you will not be that one out of a million woman who looks exactly like she did before she got pregnant right after birth. But that’s okay. Just focus on caring for year newborn and healing yourself. Once you are cleared by your doctor, start taking some small steps back like walking with your baby and eating a healthy diet. It took 9 months to gain it, give yourself at least 9 months to get it off before you go crazy. I have lost all my baby weight plus 7 pounds by doing nothing but eat whatever I want within reason that is healthy, walk and nurse. And I’m only 8 months postpartum.

Other Stuff that I can’t explain, but you will understand soon enough:

You are going to love your husband even more now.
You are going to love your mom even more now too.
You are going to be a different person from now on.
Your body will never be the same, but you will respect it’s power.