samanthareddy87

Dealing with Hyperemesis

As soon as I found out I was pregnant this time, I braced myself for the horrible, horrible morning sickness again. But two weeks went by and nothing really happened. I

I reread my Dealing with Morning Sickness post from when I was pregnant with Jack. I made electrolyte ice cubes, bought ginger tea, started taking a probiotic in preparation. I though I was on top of it and had it totally under control.

I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong….

Six-and-half-weeks along and it hit me like a freight train. All day nausea. I managed to throw up very little, but only because I couldn’t eat much. I tried to drink as much as I could keep down, which wasn’t a lot. The only thing I could do was lay on the couch and rest. I spent a lot at my mom’s, mainly so she could take care of Jack for me. It was just miserable, but manageable. I thought just a few more weeks likes this, it won’t be so bad. This was similar to what I had with Jack and I survived all alone most days.

Then one evening I got bad diarrhea that lasted into the next day. I felt weak and tired. I knew this was not good, so I went to Urgent Care. I was badly dehydrated—like after two full bags of fluids I didn’t even have to pee. Doctor said I had Hyperemesis and a stomach virus.I should have been diagnosed with Hyperemesis with Jack, but never told the doctor because I didn’t know any better. The doctor said I needed to rest and stay hydrated, and the virus should pass on its own. She also prescribed Zofran so I could start eating again. There are some warnings that Zofran causes birth defects, but I was so sick I knew for the baby’s and my health, I needed it.

I also tested positive for a UTI, but I had no symptoms at the time. My midwife said to keep an eye out but the test came back so high, it might be a false positive. A few days later, the stomach virus went away but I still felt awful. Then my lower abdomen started to hurt, so I called my midwife. She told me try a homeopathic method first since it seemed mild. It really helped the first day, but a few days later it started it hurt when I peed. So antibiotics. I felt less weak and the pain went away the next day.

I started to feel pretty good after that. I was 9.5 weeks—about the time my morning sickness cleared with Jack— so I thought I was in the clear! Wrong. Wrong again.

One afternoon at my mom’s house, I got the worse headache of my life. I had thrown up that morning, the first time in over a week, and just fell apart after that. I spent most of the day laying on the couch and feeling horrible that my mom had to care for my child yet again. My head just kept getting worse and worse. Nothing was helping. Not Tylenol, tea, heating pad, ice pack, or lavender oil.

About 8 PM, I couldn’t take it anymore. I called Michael at work (he works nights) and he took me to Emergency room. The only plus side to this visit was we got an ultrasound. The doctor wanted to make sure these were not symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy. We say a very active healthy baby inside the uterus where it should be—even measuring a little big! But I was still in rough shape. Dehydrated again, so another IV of fluids. They also gave me a Zofran shot in the IV so I could keep some water down too. And some extra strength Tylenol at a higher dose to curb my headache. The doctor also prescribed Diclegis, a nausea medication designed for pregnancy. He told me to take that daily until I feel better, and take the Zofran for breakthrough nausea only. I didn’t get home until 1 AM that night and was exhausted. My parents kept Jack the next day so I could rest.

But man, Diclegis works wonders. I actually wanted to go out for brunch the next day! And I ate most of my meal! That hadn’t happened in over a month. I thought for sure I was done with being ridiculously sick. The next few days went pretty good, I was very tired but very little nausea. Wrong again

I woke up one morning and new I was going to puke. I asked Michael to bring me a Zofran in bed, but as soon as it hit my lips I threw up. A lot. I just started crying and went back to bed. I felt horrible. A little while later I went to the couch and forced some water down. Then something weird happened. Every face on TV went all blurry. I looked away, and realized it wasn’t the TV. Everything was blurry in my left eye. It looked like static feedback. It really scared me. I told Michael and he said it sounded like a migraine, he gets them every so often. I called my midwife, she said it sounded like a ocular migraine too, but I still go get checked out at an Urgent Care.

So my parents came to pick up Jack and off we went again. On the car ride over, my head started pounding again and I became sensitive to light. Doctor pretty quickly said it was indeed a migraine, pregnancy often induces migraines on people who have never had them in their life before. Good news was I was not dehydrated and did not need an IV. But she said to take Tylenol every day until the headache goes away, so I can eat and drink normally and not end up dehydrated again. So also prescribed me Codeine to take if my migraine became unbearable. Codeine is Category C pregnancy drug, meaning its not totally unsafe, but there is no good evidence to prove it is safe. I took one later that night to help me sleep since my head was still killing me, but I haven’t taken one since. I am glad I have them, but understand the risks and will take them only if really needed.

I am 11.5 weeks today and feeling mostly better. The nausea is starting to go down, but I am still taking the Diclegis. I hope to be able to stop it sometime next week or the week after. I haven’t taken any zofran in several days–knock on wood. I am still getting moderate headaches, but no full blown migraines in a week or so. I had an acupuncture session yesterday for migraines and it helped A LOT.

This whole first trimester knocked me on my ass in ways I never imagined. I was prepared for Hyperemesis to be bad like with Jack, but not for all the other crap. Seriously, extreme nausea, stomach virus, UTI, and migraines all in 5 weeks? Why! That’s just cruel an unusual punishment. The only thing I learned from this is that every pregnancy really is different. I heard people say that over and over, and didn’t believe it. But it’s so true. I have my fingers crossed that there will be no more crazy surprises this pregnancy. I am preparing myself for the horrible acid reflux and the low blood pressure fainting I had with Jack, but cross your fingers nothing else happen!

Can You Hike In It: Baby-Doo Rouge

I was so excited when this carrier arrived in Januray, but shortly after hyperemsis hit me like the plague and I was not well enough to take it on a hike. It sadly sat on a shelf for a month. We did take it OMSI one day, but it was only a quick uppy to get him to the parking lot.
Carrier Info:

Manufacturer: Baby-Doo USA
Colorway: Rouge
Color: Red, white, and orange
Pattern: Stripes
Size: Medium, 4.4 meters, short size 5
Materials: 100% Cotton
Weave: Diamond
Release date: 2014

But one day I was well enough to take it a joint Babywearing International of Portland and Hike It Baby joint event. I helped fit people in carriers and then we go on a walk to see how they like them. We met at one of my favorite local parks, Noble Woods Park. It’s a lovely little park with both nice paved and unpaved trails. When we arrived, Jack wanted to play around with the other toddlers so I didn’t put him up right away. Then once everyone was ready to hike, I realized that someone needed to stay behind to watch the carriers. Everyone else went on the South Loop while we stayed at the picnic area.

Hike Details:

Location: Noble Woods Park, South Loop Picnic Area
Distance: ~1 mile
Trail Type: Paved trails, grass
Weather: 50*, cloudy
Trail Conditions: Muddy, wet but well maintained

Jack decided it was time for some milk so up he went. We strolled around the grassy area while he nursed. Rouge did very nicely in a Front Wrap Cross Carry with a toddler. I especially liked how the little bit of grip. Very helpful to keep the seat while when Jack was leaning to the side trying to get my boob out while I was tying.

I cannot find the picture when I put Jack in a RRRR for some reason (Google likes to eat my photos), but once everyone returned from the first loop I switched him to my back (for a few minutes, then he wanted down to play with his friends again). It was pretty easy to make a good seat, but due to the slight gripiness, it was a little hard to tighten the reinforcing pass at first. This might be a little intimidating for a novice wrapper. But it held nicely, when Jack started bouncing up and down to be let down.

The key feature of the wrap is texture from the weave. It’s very soft, but has a nice subtle grip. The diamond weaver also gives it such rich colors. It would be a lovely addition to any wrap collection. And it’s a very budget friendly wrap, retailing for under $100.

Can you hike in a Baby-Doo Rouge? Yes, it’s a lovely light-weight but grippy wrap, perfect for hikes and walks in warm to cool weather. I wish I could have taken it out on steeper trail, really test how the grip holds up. Just didn’t work out right now.

Can You Hike in It: Nunamoochie Anya

This woven wrap was a temporary trade with Twinmommy101. I was really impressed to see such a tight, clean weave on a handwoven wrap. And the colors! They are modeled after a Tequila Sunrise, one of my favorite drinks! This wrap was just screaming to be taken somewhere fun.

Carrier Info:

Manufacturer: Nunamoochie
Colorway: Anya
Color: Yellow, orange, and pink
Pattern: Stripes
Size: 6
Materials: 100% Cotton
Weave: Handwoven
Release date: August 2015

Everyone on the Hike It Baby Facebook group kept talking about “Oxbow”. Setting up hikes, go on and on about how beautiful it is, and posting stunning pictures of smiling happy babies. My best friend (yes, the one of the sushi story) asked for a hike with Jack, I realized Oxbow Regional Park was conveniently halfway between us.

Hike Details

Location: Oxbow Regional Park, Floodplain trail to Ancient Forest and back.
Distance: 4.32 miles
Trail Type: unpaved trails
Weather: 78*-81*
Trail Conditions: Dry, uncrowded and well maintenanced

I have driven by the exit for Oxbow for years (decades really), I assumed it was one of the parks right off the Interstate. But we kept driving farther and farther…river, to forest, to countryside…then suddenly a random sign pointing down a narrow road. There is no cell reception there so I worried we wouldn’t find Amanda. But there she was waiting right at the park entrance.

We decided to just head down to the first trail we found and see where it took us. Jack started out walking but quickly switched to an uppy. We started with a Ruck with a Tibetan Ring Finish. It’s thin, but surprisingly supportive. Very easy to make a good seat and tighten. I really cannot believe this wrap is hand woven! It also threaded through the rings very easily (nothing is worse than fighting with your rings with a wiggly toddler).

Oxbow definitely lived up to all the hype. The trails meld nicely with the natural landscape—boulders, roots, small water falls. This makes it a great trail to just relax and enjoy nature. Even though there are not many signs and trail markers, the trails are pretty intuitive.

We happily wandered through the forest down to the river. We let Jack down to play in the water and sand for awhile. It was so beautiful! Calm and peaceful, the perfect late summer day.

Then Jack went up on Michael in a Christina’s Ruckless with one bunched pass. It held up nicely when he had to climb up the river bank back to the main trail.

Michael said the wrap was “nice” and he liked the bright colors. He’s not a man of many words. However, I noticed he didn’t fidget with the wrap. When he doesn’t like a carrier, he will tug and pull at it to make it more comfortable. So, I take it as he actually really liked this wrap.

After a quick pause for some milk and water, we decided to head back. Jack went up on Christina’s Ruckless on me this time. I just loved the colors in this carry, they just melted into each other in the chest pass.

The key feature of this wrap is the weave. The tight, handwoven weave makes it light but moldable. I would suggest this wrap for almost every trail type. It would do lovely on anything from urban strolls to medium difficulty hikes. However, I would not recommend it for long, strenuous hikes due it not being an overly cushy wrap. I could see it having the potential to be diggy after a long long period of time due to thinnest.

So can you hike in a Nunamoochie Anya? Yes, this wrap is perfect for a warm weather, half day hikes.

Spaghetti Squash Baked Hash Browns

I love most vegetables, but I have never been a big fan of spaghetti squash. It’s just odd, a squash that breaks into little strings? Weird. But I have been looking for more allergy-friendly recipes lately (I am getting really sick of brown rice, beans, and kale all the time). Spaghetti squash as on sale at the store, so I decided to try to veganize a recipe I saw on Pinterest, for hashbrowns.

I used VeganEggs and potato starch instead of eggs, and made it a baked dish so I didn’t have to stand around cooking (leaving a naughty toddler unattended doing God knows what).

I also made this a few days head of time and froze it all ready to go in the pan. Just heated the oven and watch cartoon with Jack until they were ready.

Spaghetti Squash Baked Hashbrowns

 1 spaghetti squash

2 tbs Follow Your Heart VeganEggs

1/3 cup water

1 tbs Potato starch

1 tbs vegan butter, melted

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp black pepper

2 tsp smoked paprika

1  tsp garlic powder

1 tsp onion powder

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees

Prick holes in squash with a fork.

Place on a baking sheet and back for 45 minute. It will be soft to the touch when ready. Let aside to cool for 20 minutes.

Once cool, cut in half. Scoop out the seeds and discard.

Scoop out the squash strains with a fork, making sure the separate them.

Add squash to a large bowl. Add all remaining ingredients and mix together well.

Bake at 400 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until golden on top.

We enjoyed this for breakfast in the morning, Michael could not get enough of it! But this would be great for any meal….especially if you feel like using it as taco filling.
These were the best tacos ever! Just some corn tortillas, scoop of squash hashbrowns salsa, Daiya cheese, micro greens, and hot sauce. Make this, I promise you will not be disappointed!

Can You Hike In It: Pollora Sylvan Spirit

I purchased this carrier for the lending library I am starting up. It needs some breaking in so I figured some hikes would soften it up. Then I heard all Oregon State Parks were free on Black Friday, so no way we could not hit the trails! I thought it was perfect for a stroll through the forest, all decked out in trees.

Carrier Info:

Manufacturer: Pollora
Colorway: Sylvan
Color: Light green, yellowish green, and white
Pattern: Trees
Size: 6
Materials: 100% Cotton
Weave: Jacquard
Weight: 290 g/m2
Release date: October 2013

It’s definitely a beastly wrap. Thick, grippy, and tough to break in. It was hard to get a good tight knot due to the thickness. But oh, it’s so lovely in person. The lovely contrasting green trees can’t help but this make this Oregonian smile. I figured it would be perfect for a hike, keep us warm and match our surroundings.

Hike Details

Location: L. L. Stub Stewart State Park, Hayes Canyon to Unfit Settlement View
Distance: 4.68 MIles
Trail Type: unpaved, abandoned logging roads
Elevation: 1000 to 1500 Feet
Weather: 45* at arrival, 52* departure
Trail Conditions: Mostly dry, some muddy patches

I had been dying to take Jack hiking here. It was very exciting to have a new State Park open just a quick drive from Portland. I first went with my parents when I was still in high school for its unofficial opening weekend and it was a mess. But, I had heard it had transformed into a wonderful area over the years. I was not disappointed!

Jack and I set off right after breakfast, both very excited to get out of the house. We had been cooped up preparing for Thanksgiving for a few days and wanted out. It had been freezing the past few days in the Willamette Valley so I dressed us both very warmly. Two layers each, plus gloves and hats. I put waterproof pants on Jack, worried it might rain on us (or he might find some mud to jump in).
It was cool, but sunny once we arrived. I let Jack run around for a bit while I decided on a trail. Once I selected to head out to the Unfit Settlement View, I chased my toddler and got him up on my back. He was tired and ready for a nap after all that running around, so it wasn’t easy.

I started with Ruck Tied Tibetan and set off on the trail. But after a few steps, my lower back was killing me so I paused to see what way wrong. Jack’s seat was totally gone, bottom rail bunched half way up his back. So I took him down (much to his sleepy protest) and redid the carry. I figured I just had a bad seat and he popped it, happens to the best wrappers. But I noticed it was kinda hard to get a deep seat (and I am very good at getting and keeping a good seat), but figured it was just because I had gloves on and couldn’t feel the wrap that well.

Five minutes later and Jack was sound asleep.This wrap is loaded with sleepy dust! I felt one with mother nature, carrying my baby wrapped in green.

I walked for a leisurely half an hour, just enjoying nature. This park is truly a hidden gem! Well kept trails with a variety of lengths and difficulty. Our trail wasn’t too hard, but had a few good inclines.

Then my back started to kill me again, so I reach back to feel my seat was gone again! I gently tried to fix it, but Jack woke up and was pissed. So I quickly set him down and switched it a Front Wrap Cross Carry so he could nurse. I had a hard time getting a good seat even in the front, I was puzzled. But I made it work , Jack latched on and we continued. We walked for another hour or so. Jack dozed for half of it and spent the rest shouting “Tree! More trees! Other trees!” every few seconds.

When I took him down when we got back to the car, I noticed the seat was about to pop again. This annoyed me, Jack had not been wiggling and I hadn’t been bouncing him around much. There was no reason for the seat to not hold. It

It was warming up, so I took Jack out of waterproof pants while he ate his snack. When he finished, he decided that was the perfect time to bolt across the field so I darted after him. Once I captured the little monster, I put him in a Ruck again walked back to the car. This time I decided to put Sylvan to the test. I bounced Jack up and down, danced, and told him to jump up and down. The seat did not budge….and it was way easier to do the carry this time too….

When I got to the car and saw the waterproof pants in the trunk it clicked. This wrap is so grippy that it needs other grippy fabric, or else it just slides around. It never stood a chance with slick waterproof pants.

The key feature of Slyvan is its thickness–for both good and bad. I suggest it for urban strolls, paved parks, unpaved easy/medium trails. I would not recommend it for long, difficult trails. I worry about maintaining a good seat wearing hiking clothes (like waterproof pants). This wrap makes a giant knot, which tends to dig into you after awhile. Not the best for long term wearing. It doesn’t have a lot of cush, so it may get diggy on the shoulders eventually as well. I would not suggest this for a newborn, too hard to wrap around a tiny baby easily in all that thick fabric. However for a 6-months-old and older, this wrap is fantastic. It has lot of grip, so even a wiggly preschooler can be carried comfortably. Lastly, I would only suggest this for colder fall and winter hikes, once again due to the thickness. Don’t want to risk baby overheating otherwise.

So can you hike in a Pollora Sylvan Spirit? Yes, on reasonable trails in cooler temperatures when it’s not raining or snowing.

Follow Your Heart VeganEgg

I was never a big egg fan, but it was nice to be able to scramble up a quick breakfast on occasion. Especially for my son is screaming because he’s straving. But me being vegan and his egg allergy, not gonna happen anymore.

Then I heard that Follow Your Heart was making vegan egg substitute product. And not just another egg replacer for baking, these could be used just like real beaten eggs. Scrambles, quiches, omelette, and baking!

My first question was what the heck is it made of? Jack is also allergic to soy and cashews, two very common sources of vegan protein. I asked on their Facebook page and they quickly answered it was soy and nut free! It’s main ingredient is an algae dervitive, algal.

My mom asked what she could make for me and jack instead of scrambled eggs for Christmas Brunch, so I decided to order some finally. Luckily a local vegan grocery store in Portland Food Fight had some in stock, so they arrived just in time before Christmas morning.

They come in cute little eggs cartons, but inside is really a package of powder.

The instructions are easy and straightforward. In a nutshell, add correct amount of powder to correct amount of water, get lumps out, cook in a hot pan until firm. The key is to do what the directions say (duh). Too much water and they come out rubbery. Too much powder and they come out clumpy. And they are dead serious about letting it cook the full 6-8 minutes in an already hot pan. Otherwise it’s just goo that has no resemblance in texture to eggs.

So how are they? I can happily say good! The texture is totally on point. Not too slimy, not to dense. Fluffy and satisfying feel. The taste is pretty close, but just a tiny bit off. I can’t really explain how it’s off…it’s like lacking that umami taste satisfaction. But I added a little sea salt and paprika before cooking and it helped a lot.

Did they pass the toddler test? Kinda. But Jack was more excited for the ham and maple syrup. He took a bite of the scramble, didn’t hate it but didn’t love it.

I think this is a great product, I plan on buying it again and hope it becomes available in stores soon. A great vegan protein source that is soy-free. I’m going to try baking with it soon so look out for that recipe.

But For now, I highly suggest some over toast with salsa and hot sauce for breakfast.

Doll Carrier Review: Lily Mae Collection and Three Little Snowflakes

What is even cuter than a baby all snuggled up in a carrier? A baby wearing their own baby snuggled up in a carrier! Children learn through mimicking things they see, so it’s no wonder worn children want to wear their babies. This is how they learn to be good caregivers!

Jack loves to wear his babies—Captain America, Curious George, and Minion. But he doesn’t have much patiences for wraps (like most men anyways). So I was thrilled when Tabitha from Lily Mae Collection contact me. She sent one of her Tula-inspired doll carrier, as well as one from her friend’s Kinderpack-inspired doll carrier Three Little Snowflakes. Jack could wear his babies without a fight!

These carriers are the work of two Northern California work-at-home-mom friends. They wanted to make fun, creative accessories for children to express themselves.

When I opened and told Jack these were for him to wear his babies, his eyes got big and snatched them from me. Then he noticed the best part, they have Star Wars patterns! “YO-DA!” “LOO-KAH!” “VA-DER!” He just learned about Star Wars so this was a big treat for him.

The next morning he demanded the Minions Movie while was playing with the buckles on the Lily Mae carrier (another perk to doll wearing, they can work on fine motor skills with the buckles and clasps). I asked if he wanted his minion on his back while he watch the movie, he said yes. After a small protest that he couldn’t play with the buckles when it’s on him, he settled down and realized he had his baby. He watched the rest of the movie content.

The carrier is was tad big for Jack currently. He is 20-months-old, 24 lbs, and 35 inches. He is tall for his age with small hips so I had tighten every strap to the smallest position. The shoulder straps were just a tad big for him too, making it hard to keep Minion in place. On a older, less lanky toddler or child, this would not be an issue at all. Or like with real buckle carriers, it could be that this specific carrier is not the best for him. That old saying “Like how your best friend’s favorite jeans might now fit you” idea. He was very sad to take it off at nap time though.

A few days later we went for a walk around the neighborhood. I asked if he wanted to wear one of his babies, he happily brought me Minion again. So we gave the Three Little Snowflakes a try. There was no protest since he understood what I was doing this time. As soon as I took him outside and let him go, he ran off down the path happily.

This carrier fit him a bit better. Once again, every strap had to be adjusted to smallest position and the shoulder straps were a bit bulky on him. But the position of the straps cinched around him better and Minion stayed in easier. It was a still not a perfect though, but a bit closer. It would fit much better on a bigger toddler or child who isn’t so lanky. He was very happy, played with his baby on his back for for an hour.

So which one would I recommend? That’s about as easy to decide as picking between an actual Tula and Kinderpack! It will depends on your child’s size and shape. As the person fitting the carrier on him, I pick the Three Little Snowflakes for Jack. And really only because the straps can cross in the back. This seems odd since Tula fit Michael and I better than Kinderpack.

When I asked Jack which one he liked, he started to find Yoda on each carrier, so who knows! Overall these are both quality doll carriers that any child would love. They both come in a variety of prints, so there is something for everyone to love. I suggest waiting until your toddler can walk well for long periods of time unassisted before putting these carriers on them. And hopefully yours isn’t a bean pole like mine so they fit around the waist better!

Holiday Lentil Loaf

What does a vegan who is nursing a toddler who’s allergic to soy, wheat, and cashews have for Thanksgiving? Lentils! I actually had this last year too before Jack developed his food allergies, because it’s that good!

I posted a lentil loaf recipe before, and I still make that one often. It’s more of a meatloaf than a holiday dinner.

I should have posted this last week, but life got in the way. My apologies! But this is good for any holiday as a poluty substitute. I actually assembled the loaf the night before and baked it the next day. It is very allergy-friendly and tastes great! Even my meat-loving husband took several bites!

Holiday Lentil Loaf 
1 cup red quinoa

2 cups brown lentils

2 carrots, chopped fine

2 stalls of celery, 
chopped fine

1/4 finely chopped onion

2 cloves of garlic, 
minced

1/4 tsp fresh rosemary, 
minced

1/4 tsp fresh sage, 
minced

1/4 tsp thyme, minced

1 tsp poultry seasoning

1/4 gluten-free flour

1/4 nutritional yeast

1/2 cup coconut aminos

1/4 cup olive oil

Salt and pepper to taste

Cook lentils according to directions on the package.

Cook lentils according to the directions on the package.

While those are cooking, sautée the carrots, celery, and onions in a little bit of olive oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Add garlic and cook for one minute. Then remove from heat and set aside.

In a small bowl, add all remaining ingriedents, expect the salt and pepper, and whisk together.

Drain both the lentils and quinoa, add to a large mixing bowl.

Add the sautée vegetables and mix well.

Add the liquid mixture and also mix well.

Spray a roasting pan or baking sheet with cooking spray. Form a loaf on the pan with the lentil mixture.

Bake for 25-30 minutes, until heated through and a light crust forms.

Cut off a slice and top with some vegan gravy. Enjoy a taste of the holiday season everyone can enjoy!

I Never Thought I Would Need A Rainbow Baby

This is not the post I wanted to write. I was hoping to announce that we are expecting our second child. I was hoping to talk about morning sickness, sore boobs, and how much it sucks to chase a toddler when exhausted. But I am not. Instead I am writing about having a miscarriage.

I know it sounds cliche, but I really never thought this would happened to me. I know that even though many women chose not to talk about it, it is a fairly common. I recall learning somewhere that as many as 1 out of 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. So, majority of women walking around on the planet experienced a pregnancy loss in their life. But this really blindsided me.

Jack was a surprise, we didn’t even have to try. I had no major complications, everything went pretty good. I figured I wouldn’t have any issues having another baby. We got pregnant the first month we tried and it all seemed to go according to plan. I was so happy, so ready to have another baby. I was so happy to tell Michael, he was so happy too. I was happy to tell my two best friends. And, a few other friends and family as well. I figured we would do a big cute reveal in a few weeks to everyone else.

The day after telling people, I started spotting. I didn’t know that to do. I Googled “spotting in early pregnancy” and read that is was most likely a normal pregnancy symptom. So I took a bath and tried to stay calm. But something felt wrong. I woke up Michael (he works night shift now and sleeps during the day) and asked my mom to watch Jack.

We went to the ER. It felt like an out of body experience. This was not happening to me. I was seen quickly. Everyone was nice and took good care of me. But I was terrified.

I didn’t know what was happening. The doctor came in and asked several questions that I don’t remember. Then she said it. “Your pregnancy test was negative. You are most likely having a very early miscarriage. Probably a chemical pregnancy.” And I don’t really remember anything else she said after that. I didn’t need to know anything else at that moment. I was already devastated.

She handed me information on miscarriages and they discharge me. I think she told me to rest and take ibuprofen if I needed it. I was shaking so bad Michael had to help me get dressed. We drove home in silence. I felt very numb, I could not believe this as happening to me.

Mom hugged me when we got home and told me to go take a nap with Jack. I took him to our bed and nursed him to sleep. I held him tight and kiss his head. I tried to tell myself to be grateful to have a beautiful, healthy child. But that just made me feel more numb. I just went about the rest of my day—I didn’t know what else to do.

I hoped maybe the bleeding would stop and it was all not true, but I knew in my heart it was. I just wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. This was just horrible timing, I was leaving the next day for babywearing training in Seattle. I didn’t have time for this right now.

Michael asked if I wanted to still go, I said yes. I shelled out a lot of money for this training and needed this certification for my future career goals. Michael would have let me cancel the whole thing, no questions asked— even if it meant we couldn’t get our money back. But I knew I needed to go. If I stayed home I would have just moped around the house. Being around educated, strong women was what I needed. So I left bright and early the next morning.

About half way into my drive the worst possible song came on the radio. Sarah McLachlan, ” In The Arms of The Angel.” I lost it. I started bawling my eyes out and had to pull over for a while. Later, I arrived, got lunch, and went to my training. I tried so hard to pay attention and act normal, but inside I still felt numb.

That night I was excited to actually get a full night’s rest. But when got into bed, I felt so lonely without my husband and son.

I tried hard the next day to pay attention again, but I kept thinking about it. And thinking about it. And that night when I got home it was all I could think about. I went to work on some homework from the training and pulled out a wrap—the worst possible wrap. I have been eyeing this Vanamo for months now, I loved it the moment I saw it. I got to borrow it for the night. I have been putting off getting it until I had more money.

But when I pulled it out, I realized it was covered in rainbows. A “rainbow baby” is a baby born after a miscarriage. Like the beauty that comes after a storm. Needless to say I finally accepted what had happened. I lost a baby. Yes, I was barely 5 weeks pregnant, but it was still my baby. A baby I really really wanted. I cried. I cried and cried.

I took the rest of the night to have some “me” time. Do some non-mom things. I watched some Hulu, got a glass of wine, and took a long hot shower. I reflected on everything that happened in the past week.

I am glad that I told the people I did. I needed these people. I needed my mom to tell me it was okay to be hurt. I needed my best friends to ask me how I was feeling. I needed my other friends to tell me they are sorry. This is hard for me to get through, and it would have been crippling without others to lean on.

The rest of the training was easier to get through. I was so glad I went. I needed to company of compassionate, understanding women. Even though they had no idea what I was going through, listening to their stories and lives helped me more than they can understand.

I ended up buying the rainbow wrap. I kept it next to me in the front seat as I drove home, just in case a hard song came on the radio again, I had something to wipe my tears this time. I kept looking at it thinking how lovely it will look on Jack and I. And how lovely it would have been to wrap that lost baby in it. But most importantly, how lovely it will look on my rainbow baby.

It is important I mourn and deal with my emotions properly, but I need to remember that this is not the end of line. Majority of women go on to have healthy babies after a loss. Hopefully soon I will sharing the happy news that we will having another baby.

Wrapsody Weekly Wrap Challenge

For the past 20 weeks, I’ve been hosting the Wrapsody Weekly Wrap Challenge along with fellow Brand Ambassador Nicolette. It’s a little idea I came up with to help promote the brand on social media. It is was inspired by a challenge I did from BWI of The Bay Area. I learned so much from that challenge, it honestly made me a better wrapper. So I decided to spread idea and help others build up their skills.

So I designed a challenge that could be done over time, so no one left rushed or got frustrated. A week to work on a carry and ask for help. It started with basic carriers that a novice could handle. Then move on to a new, more advanced carry the next week. And the carriers would build off each other, the skill learned one week would be needed for the next week. That way the wrapper gets the fundamentals of how to build a good carry. I also needed to do carriers that can be done with longer wraps, since most Wrapsodys are size 6+.

Thus, I came up with this list. Twenty weeks to help you go from a novice to a back wrapper.

After some consulting with fellow ambassadors, I came up with this list. Nicolette and I decided to alternate each week. Post a 360 degree photo collage and a tutorial video on Sunday. A reminder on Wednesday. And a Feature Friday to encourage participation. We also offered help and answers questions when we could. Other ambassadors helped too.

But let’s talk about the carries and how they help you learn.

Week 1: Pocket Wrap Cross Carry. A front carry with two cross passes, and torso pass over top. A very basic carry to help you learn the feel for wrapping. A pre-tied carry, meaning you tie the wrap on yourself before you place baby.

Week 2: Front Wrap Cross Carry. A front carry with a torso pass, and two cross passes over top. Another basic carry to help you get comfortable with your wrap. This is a step up from the PWCC as it is not pre-tied and the torso pass is underneath. This means you need to learn how to make a good seat for baby and his to tighten the whole carry properly.

Week 3: Front Cross Carry. A front carry a horizontal pass, and two rebozo passes. This is a pre-tied carry like the PWCC, but is a step up from the FWCC because there is no torso pass to provide extra support. This means you need to place baby in a good, deep seat in the X of the rebozo passes.

Week 4: Kangaroo Carry. A front carry with ruck pass, two shoulder flips, and two bunched passes. A wonderful carry for newborns or any sleeping baby, Just in untie and gently place them down without cross passes to get in the way. The shoulder flip can be a bit tricky, but makes this carry very comfortable long term.

Week 5: Front Double Hammock. Front carry with a ruck pass, a torso pass, two shoulder flips. A step up from a Kangaroo carry as it has two layers for support and starts off center. Several other carries going forward start off center, so it’s good to practice that now. This also wonderful prep for the ever so comfortable back Double Hammock later on. Helps you visual what will be going on behind you.

*Please do not attempt hip carries until your baby can sit up unassisted.*

Week 6: Hip Rebozo. A hip carry with one rebozo pass tied with a slip knot. Time for hip carries! This carry is normally done in a short wrap so there is not a lot of tail, so I almost left it off the list. But it is the base for several other carries up next so I left it on. Nicolette just reinforced it to get rid of the extra tail. Slip knots can be tricky to learn, so take your time and go slow. But they are a great tool for to tie a carry at the shoulder without a big bulky double knot.

Week 7: Robbin’s Hip Carry. A hip carry with a rebozo pass, shoulder loop, and two bunched passes. A step up from a rebozo with the very comfy shoulder loop and two bunched passes to reinforce the seat. The key to get it right is the placement of the shoulder loop. Too high will dig into your shoulder. Too low will put pressure on your back. Aim for the corsage position.

Week 8: Poppin’s Hip Carry. A hip carry with one rebozo pass, and poppin’s pass. Think of this as a Robin’s Hip Carry, but with the loop going the other way. The lovely poppin’s pass adds support and reinforces the rebozo. Plus it is a great way to showcase the opposite side of the wrap.

Week 9: Hip Cross Carry. A hip carry with two cross passes. This is essentially a Front Cross Carry, but on your hip. The key is to get baby knee-to-knee supported and make sure the X is hitting high on their back. This poppable hip carry is great for a day at the park. Baby wants to run around but needs a quick uppy for a breather once and awhile.

Week 10: Coolest Hip Cross Carry. A hip carry with a torso pass and a rebozo pass tied with a slip knot. This carry can be tricky to place baby in correctly, so go slow and make sure you get a good, deep seat. The slip knot makes it very easy to tighten and loosen for nursing.

*Please do not attempt back carries until your baby can sit up unassisted if you are new to wrapping. Practice against a wall, over a bed, or with a spotter until you are confident.

Week 11: Secure High Back Carry. Back carry with a chest knot, rebozo pass, a spread pass, and a bunched pass. Time for back carries! This carry is the main reason I left a rebozo on the list. Starting with a good pre-tied hip rebozo then scooting it on to you back helps you gain confidence with back carries. You baby is safe with the pre-tied chest belt pinning them in place. You already have a good seat, so no worries about their comfort. This way you can focus on how to spread the passes behind your back and get them in the correct position without fear of baby falling. You can feel how the rebozo pass provides the seat, the cross pass reinforces with support, and the bunched pass helps lock the seat in place. The foundation of a great back carry!

Week 12: Back Wrap Cross Carry. A back carry with a chest knot, horizontal, and two cross passes. Another great beginner back carry due to the chest belt to secure baby before you fiddle with the rest of the passes. To help you visual what’s going on, think of this carry as everything you do in a FWCC, but on your back (hence the name).

Week 13: Ruck. A back carry with one ruck pass. No more pre-ties, it’s time to learn how to get baby up on your own. This is the most basic back carry and often the hardest to get right. A ruck is the base for several of back carries, so it’s so important to get this one right before moving on.

Week 14: Double Hammock. Back carry with a rebozo pass, a torso pass, horizontal pass, two cross , and two bunched passes. The ultimate multiple pass carry, so supportive and comfortable. A torso pass in a back carry can be tricky to master, so take your time. Tighten tighten tighten, a loose torso pass will make this carry uncomfortable. Make sure the horizontal pass goes high over baby’s back as well, this will add support and keep them from leaning back.

We also had some fun with this week and showed off all the variations.

Week 15: Christina’s Ruckless. A back carry with a rebozo pass, torso pass, ruckless chest belt, and two cross passes. A step up from a Double Hammock as the chest belt is a little more complicated. This a a great carry to take pressure of your back and shoulder, as the V holds all the tension. Make sure it it tighten properly if you are experiencing any discomfort.

Week 16: Giselle’s Back Carry. A back carry with a rebozo pass, a cross pass, shoulder flip, another cross pass. Another carry that starts off center and requires some skills to get the wrap spread high over baby’s back to ensure enough support. The shoulder flip in a back carrier is the same principal as in front carries, but can be tricker since you can’t see behind you. It’s essentially a way to make ruck straps in a rebozo.

Week 17: Double Rebozo Shoulder to Shoulder. A back carry with two rebozo passes and a shoulder to shoulder chest belt. Similar to the Secure High Back Carry with the hip scoot rebozo as the base, but a little more tricky as there are no bunched passes to keep the seat secure. You really need a good seat in this carry, so I put it farther down on the list to give you time to work on it. A shallow seat will most likely pop, leaving baby unsecured. And even if it does stay in place, it might be uncomfortable in the long run. But once you get it right, this a great carry to do quickly or in a crowded place where you don’t have room to spread out your tails.

Week 18: Jordan’s Back Carry. A back carry with one rebozo pass, a shoulder flip, another rebozo pass, and a horizontal pass. A great carry for leg straightening babies, as the rebozo pass and the horozinral pass lock baby’s leg gently in place, making it hard for them to push up. They aren’t going anywhere!

Week 19: Wiggleproof Back Carry. A back carry with a ruck, two unpoppable passes. Some kids are just leaners, seat poppers, and leg straighteners no matter what you do. Before you give up on wrapping, give this carry a try. There are two unpoppable passes to lock both of baby’s legs down, making it almost impossible for them to mess-up your carry. It’s far down on the list because it takes skill to get these passes right.They can be very tricky to get high up on baby’s back. But keep it at it and you will be rewarded with a very comfy carry!

Week 20: Taiwanese Carry. A back carry with a rebozo pass, a poppin’s pass, a rebozo pass, another poppin’s pass, and a horizontal pass. We made it to the end! By now you should have a good foundation of wrapping skills, most of which you will need for this carry (hence why it’s the end!). A good seat, measuring correctly for an off center start, tightening and keeping the tension as you go, a poppin’s pass, a shoulder flip, and a supportive horizontal pass. Once you get that all down, this carry is AMAZING! No pressure and so supportive.

We did it! You now understand how to wrap your baby. This does not make you an expert yet, but it’s a great start. Keep working on these carries, even the most advanced wearer still learns something new everyday.

Check out these other great resources as well: